6 Strategies for Supervising People Older Than You

Last month, Brianna got a promotion at work that turned out to be a mixed blessing. Her new role provided a raise, a new office, a new title, and greater authority. The downside, she soon discovered, was that she now supervised colleagues who were older and more experienced than she was. She had no idea it would be so difficult for those 50 and older to follow someone who was 28 years old. She was talented enough to lead (in fact, she was more than qualified in terms of ability), but she wasn’t qualified by her fellow teammates’ standards. Age and experience were still the best reasons for promotions, in their minds.

This is happening on a frequent basis.

According to studies from Deloitte, Zapier, and Harvard Business Review, around 60 to 62 percent of millennials currently hold management positions and lead teams with direct reports. They are no longer the new kids on the block. The majority are leading others. As research from Korn Ferry reveals, “The average age of a first-time manager in the United States is about 30, an age milestone that half the millennial generation has now reached. Indeed, one recent study found that 83 percent of US employees have already seen millennials managing boomers and Gen Xers in their offices.”

Let me offer six suggestions for anyone who leads people older than them.

1. Lead from a foundation of humility.

Leadership expert John Maxwell hired me fresh out of college in 1983. He was older and wiser than me, and still is. In my first year, I spotted a couple of programs that were less than stellar. I knew if I spoke to John about them, I could be interpreted as an arrogant, know-it-all kid. But I also knew he was only satisfied with excellence. I decided to talk to him. It was then that I learned the power of humility. I won the day due to two choices I made. First, I ensured the meeting was private, and second, I approached him with absolute humility. I assumed he was already aware of the issues and was on top of them. I also communicated that I was loyal to his leadership. I offered my help if he needed it. At that point, John put me in charge of two departments, and he leaned on me to lead in those areas. Any time you lead or influence older colleagues, your approach is as important as your abilities.

2. Make the mental jump.

I know teachers who were promoted to be school administrators and failed to navigate the move from “pals” to “principals” with their peer group. When you’ve been promoted, be sure and promote yourself, mentally and emotionally. Along with humility, you need to show your people that you're confident. Leadership expert Michael Watkins writes, “When you shift from leading a function to leading an enterprise, you must navigate a tricky set of changes in your leadership focus and skills. One change is becoming an agenda setter. You were promoted to a senior level because you could fix problems. Now, though, your task is to prioritize which problems the organization should tackle. You’ll need to delegate well, rely on your team for guidance and use the annual planning process in your organization to define key goals.

3. Meet at once to discuss new expectations.

Leadership authority Benjamin Laker and his team explain, “When you’re promoted to a role above people you’re friends with, things can get awkward. You want to maintain those relationships, but you also must make decisions that favor the team’s interests over any one employee’s. To manage this awkwardness, speak candidly with your friends about how your role has changed and what expectations come with it. Acknowledge that things will get uncomfortable at times. Explain that you value their friendships, but you have to treat everyone equally and can’t play favorites. Then follow through: if, for instance, you’re going out to lunch, invite everyone, not just your friends. If employees suspect someone is getting preferential treatment, they may start to resent you or your friends.”

4. Manage by objective.

No one likes to be micromanaged, especially a colleague who is older than their boss. Believe it or not, it can feel to some like a parent who’s being told what to do by their child. So, when you give a task to an older colleague, do your best to share the task’s outcomes and allow them the freedom to reach that goal in their own way, when possible. This communicates trust and acknowledges the value of their experience and perspective. After all, if reaching your objective is what matters most, why not offer them dignity by allowing them to have some ownership of the strategy? Make the mission, not the method, sacred.

5. Get alignment one-on-one.

I suggest you meet quickly with direct reports who are older than you. Seek their input, but don’t end the meeting until you are on the same page. Let them know you value their ideas and experience. Author Jodi Glickman confirms, “Talk about your vision and goals for the team. Remember that they come with experience, and their experience can help you refine your ideas.” This forces you to check your insecurities. Ask yourself: If I were unable to oversee this team, would my supervisor have given me the promotion? Of course not. Lead the charge, but do it once you’ve met one-on-one with your teammates.

6. Work on your emotional intelligence.

The higher you go in an organizational chart, the more you need to possess high emotional intelligence. Your EQ may even be more important than your IQ. Your new role provides the opportunity to direct people in their tasks, but before that, it affords you the chance to ask questions and listen well. This earns your right to influence people through relationship rather than position. When I launched a nonprofit called Growing Leaders in 2003, I was among the youngest in the room at our board meetings. I set the pace by doing more listening than talking, asking as many questions as I did reporting, and focusing on learning more than teaching. It worked. I received lots of wisdom from those brilliant men and women. My advice? Begin by telling them you cherish their experience and will always consider their input. This wins people at the heart level.

John Maxwell used to say: “You have to give up to go up.” There are sacrifices to make and steps to take en route to succeeding as a young leader.

For more about managing across generations, look out for my new book, The Future Begins with Z: Nine Strategies to Lead Generation Z as They Upset the Workplace, which will be released this fall.