I believe is that the longer you are able to stand guiltless in a situation that you find yourself in, the greater the opportunity for growth. I have started a journey that has ended badly for me. The thing that i care the most about, and the thing which drove me is the relationship and the well being of my kids. It was all i cared about. i became hyper-vigilant in the pursuit of those aims, and i made some miscalculations. Now i can't see my kids, and they are struggling with things they shouldn't have to. I come from a bit of a punk rock aesthetic, and i believe more in honesty than tack. I am not bothered by conflict and i don't care what others think about me with the exception of my kids, who i made a promise to that i would never give up.
For the last week, i have been beating myself up wondering how I could have been so stupid. I was thinking about how the people I trusted the most could treat me the way they did. I felt betrayed. I felt that nobody stuck up for me, and those I trusted the most let this happen. My father, brother, sister, mother, mother of my children seemed more concerned about their own pride than the well being of the kids, not to mention, my own well being. It took me a week and a half to see the self pity, although I aways knew it was there. I still don't know my next move, but i feel free again, which is a big deal to me.
I think differently than most people. I have real reservations about psychology, even though in the past it has been a great help to me. I was much younger than. Psychology relieves suffering without ever dealing with the problem of the self. It moves the problem into a more manageable place, but it does not solve the problem. This position has caused me a great deal of conflict, which is fun for me, but it is not helpful to those around me. The mistake i made was trying to help others. I am beginning to understand that you can't help any body. If they are helped they help themselves, if they are hurt they do it to themselves. I am no longer interested.
I would be interested in your perspective as a professional, and as somebody who has had to deal with more than their fair share of adversity. I say this as someone who is trying to understand.