Animal Behavior
Dog Talk: Why Not Say "Jelly" Instead of Yelling "No!"
A Personal Perspective: It's not what you say but how you say it.
Updated July 4, 2023 Reviewed by Lybi Ma
Key points
- Saying "No!" may not give your dog clear instructions about what you want them to do.
- Dogs like clarity, consistency, and positive reinforcement.
- There are some simple ways to establish a dog's mindset so they choose to do what you want them to do.
By Marc Bekoff, Ph.D., and Mary Angilly
Some years ago, when I (Marc) regularly visited some dog parks around Boulder, I would hear people yelling "No!" or "Stop doing that!" I heard this far more often than I heard something softly said when they wanted their dog to stop doing something. One notable exception was a guy named Jim who, when he wanted his dog Magpie to stop doing something, would softly say "jelly."
Needless to say, I was very curious about this and a good number of people laughed at him. However, Magpie always stopped what he was doing, ran back to Jim, sat down, wagged his tail, and was rewarded with a generic dog treat or more frequently with a piece of bread with peanut butter and jelly on it. It turned out that Magpie loved peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and clearly didn't respond to "jelly"—a functional equivalent of "No!"—with any hesitation whatsoever.
People who heard Jim say "jelly" were really confused, as I was at first, but when I learned about Magpie's preferences and history, it all made sense. Likewise, Mary once had a client whose dog, Ruby, knew what the word “unicorn” meant. To Ruby, it meant that whenever someone says it, she should run over to them, touch their hand with her nose, and that when she did she’d get a treat. She also once worked with a dog, Stan, who was dog reactive and his person really wanted to teach him to turn away from dogs if ever suddenly bumping into them out on a walk. When deciding on which verbal cue he wanted to use, he told Mary that he would likely be startled and say a particular word rhyming with “duck” and that it would be the likely word to come out of his mouth. Stan learned that word meant to turn around and go in another direction with his person and that a tasty treat would follow afterwards.
Another example of how dogs associate different words with different meanings involved a dog called Cammy, who was afraid of hearing the word “come,” because anytime her person said it, Cammy’s beep collar (which scared her) started beeping until she came all the way back to her human. Cammy was so scared of the beeping collar that she started lying down and whining when she heard the word “come.” With Mary, Cammy's human ditched the beep collar and picked a new cue, “here”, to repair her recall.
A dog's mindset, personal history, and context are important to consider when asking something of them and their choice to do it
These, and many other examples show that the meaning ascribed to these words by these (and likely other) dogs is not accurate, but what’s a word, anyway? We assign certain meanings to words because of repetitive associations and dogs can, too. We can teach a dog that a word with a generally positive connotation in our society equals something negative and vice versa.
What about “No”? If you say “No” to your dog, but they always get something great afterwards, such as their favorite toy, then the word “No” might actually be positive for him. But if another person’s dog hears “No!” and then a leash yanks their neck, “No!” might have a completely different meaning to them.
We frequently hear complaints that people’s dogs don’t know “No!” Or the dogs don’t listen when their person says it to them, often in a loud voice and waving their arms here and there to show how urgent it is for the dog to stop doing something. However, dogs aren’t necessarily stubborn or defiant, but they actually likely don’t know what it means in the way in which the person is using it or in the context in which they’re saying it.
When we speak to dogs, they’re also constantly picking up other cues, such as our pitch and body language (for example, facial expressions, body postures, other sounds, and gait) and incorporating them all to figure out what we’re actually saying and what we want them to do. Signals that have different components and combine vocalizations, visual movements, and perhaps odors are called composite signals and they can be confusing to dogs because of the mixed messages they receive. Dogs watch and read us very well and their ears and noses are extremely sensitive; we must not forget that when we're interacting with them.
"No!" can be confusing to a dog. Saying "No!" may not give your dog clear instructions or messages about what you want them to do. If saying “No!” is a request to get your dog to discontinue a certain behavior, it’s not giving them information about an alternative behavior with which you’re okay, and this might lead you right back to your original problem.
Imagine you're in a car in an unfamiliar area; you’re driving and someone else is in charge of the GPS. You reach an intersection and you ask where you should go and you're told, “Don’t turn left,” but you aren’t sure if you should then go straight or turn right. Wouldn’t it be more helpful if you were told exactly where to go?
What can we do to make sure dogs know what we want them to do?
Instead of focusing on your dog’s knowledge of your desired intention for the word “No", think about what you would rather have your dog do in specific situations. Instead of saying “No!” when your dog jumps on someone, perhaps you should reward your dog when they keep four paws on the ground. After all, behaviors that are rewarding and reinforcing will be repeated and being as specific as possible will lead to mutually beneficial training success in the long-run. And yes, you can teach your dog what "jelly" or "unicorn" means to them.1,2
Living with a dog can be extremely rewarding and at times, extremely trying. Simplicity is key, especially when we want to show them we love them or we want them to stop doing something that's most usually human-inappropriate.
Dogs like clarity, consistency, calmness, choices, and positive reinforcement.3 The simple practice of gently asking something of them when you want them to do something or to stop doing something can make things easier for you and for them—this provides a solid foundation for a mutually rewarding and enduring relationship.
Co-author Mary Angilly is a positive, force-free dog trainer.
References
1) Marc did a bit of "citizen science" while we were writing this piece. He asked 10 people with dogs to softly say "jelly" when they wanted their dog to stop doing something rather than uttering a command such as "No!" After a few trials the dogs chose to do just what their humans wanted them to do, and 4 of the people said their dog seemed to respond more positively to "jelly" than to "No!" It would be good to do controlled studies to see how robust the effect of nicely asking a dog to do something rather than assertively commanding them to do it.
2) Stanley Coren once met a dog who thought his name was "No!"
3) There are excellent studies that show that positive, force-free training is better than training based on punishment: The Psychology and Art of Positive "Do No Harm" Dog Training; "Bad Dog?" The Psychology of Using Positive Reinforcement; Science Shows Positive Reward-Based Dog Training Is Best;
Marc Bekoff, Dogs Demystified: An A-to-Z Guide to All Things Canine . New World Library, 2023.
Without Worry Canine Education present Marc Bekoff and Marco Adda.
For Dogs, Helicopter Humans Don't Balance Scolds and Praise.
Do Your Dog and You Agree About What You Want Them to Do?
The Happy Dog: Agency, Consent, and Context Are Important.
Dogs Watch Us Carefully and Read Our Faces Very Well.
