Anger in the Age of Entitlement

Ethics and Morality

Was I Ever Really Young?

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on April 5, 2026

We can do in adulthood what we could not very easily do in youth: create meaning and purpose.

We can do in adulthood what we could not very easily do in youth: create meaning and purpose.

Personal Perspectives

Identity: Who I Am, Who I Am Not

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on March 29, 2026

When we reduce ourselves to labels—race, gender, profession, nationality, ideology, success, failure—we mistake the labels for the essence of who we are.

When we reduce ourselves to labels—race, gender, profession, nationality, ideology, success, failure—we mistake the labels for the essence of who we are.

Shame

Shaming Someone Isn't the Same as Holding Them Accountable

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on March 22, 2026

Shaming has endured as a form of social control because it attacks the basic human desire for belonging and respect.

Shaming has endured as a form of social control because it attacks the basic human desire for belonging and respect.

Assertiveness

Compassionate Assertiveness

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on March 15, 2026

Compassionate assertiveness is standing up for your rights, opinions, and preferences, while respecting the rights, opinions, preferences, and vulnerabilities of loved ones.

Compassionate assertiveness is standing up for your rights, opinions, and preferences, while respecting the rights, opinions, preferences, and vulnerabilities of loved ones.

Emotion Regulation

How We Turn Toddler Feelings Into Adult Action

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on March 6, 2026

The adult brain provides the reality testing the toddler brain lacks.

The adult brain provides the reality testing the toddler brain lacks.

Anger

How to Exorcise Your Hate

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on March 1, 2026

You probably have good reasons to hate. You have better reasons to find peace and self-acceptance, and emotional growth.

You probably have good reasons to hate. You have better reasons to find peace and self-acceptance, and emotional growth.

Self-Help

Crucial Elements of Meaning and Purpose

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on February 15, 2026

Most self-help advice on coping with negative emotions makes it almost impossible to act in your long-term best interests.

Most self-help advice on coping with negative emotions makes it almost impossible to act in your long-term best interests.

Deception

Suppressing Doubt Is Lying to Ourselves

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on January 16, 2026

Only doubt can help us overcome our proclivity for the psychological underpinning of polarization (and the nemesis of knowledge): confirmation bias.

Only doubt can help us overcome our proclivity for the psychological underpinning of polarization (and the nemesis of knowledge): confirmation bias.

Self-Help

The Key to a Better Life

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on January 11, 2026

With genuine curiosity, we want to learn and understand, not “win” an argument.

With genuine curiosity, we want to learn and understand, not “win” an argument.

Shame

Outer Pride, Inner Shame

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on January 4, 2026

Behavior often contradicts intentions. Intentions are more about values (the kind of person I want to be), while behavior is more about temporary comfort or power.

Behavior often contradicts intentions. Intentions are more about values (the kind of person I want to be), while behavior is more about temporary comfort or power.

Relationships

Adversarial Love Relationships

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on January 2, 2026

Adversaries cannot repair their damaged relationships while locked in negative judgments and cynical characterizations of each other.

Adversaries cannot repair their damaged relationships while locked in negative judgments and cynical characterizations of each other.

Relationships

Hurtful Exchanges in Love

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on December 28, 2025

When people live together, they develop implicit judgments to explain undesirable behavior of their partners. These become lenses through which they view each other.

When people live together, they develop implicit judgments to explain undesirable behavior of their partners. These become lenses through which they view each other.

Authenticity

Familiarity vs. Authenticity: What's the Difference?

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on December 19, 2025

Familiarity offers comfort, safety, and predictability at the price of stunting growth and rejecting beneficial change. Authenticity demands choice, honesty, and vulnerability.

Familiarity offers comfort, safety, and predictability at the price of stunting growth and rejecting beneficial change. Authenticity demands choice, honesty, and vulnerability.

Anger

How Chronic Resentment Underlies Rage

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on December 12, 2025

Rage is an extreme form of anger, with intense aggressive impulses. It’s caused by perceived violation of rights, status, or personal boundaries.

Rage is an extreme form of anger, with intense aggressive impulses. It’s caused by perceived violation of rights, status, or personal boundaries.

Relationships

Achieving Intimacy in an Angry World

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on December 7, 2025

Resentment is rampant in our polarized world. It takes effort to keep it out of our relationships, where it is likely to destroy intimacy.

Resentment is rampant in our polarized world. It takes effort to keep it out of our relationships, where it is likely to destroy intimacy.

Relationships

Feeling Loved vs. Being Lovable

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on December 5, 2025

Feeling loved is about the way we’re treated by loved ones. Feeling lovable, i.e., worthy of love, comes from the ways we treat loved ones.

Feeling loved is about the way we’re treated by loved ones. Feeling lovable, i.e., worthy of love, comes from the ways we treat loved ones.

Self-Help

Beware of Feeling Certain

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on November 28, 2025

It's extremely difficult to know something and extremely easy to think we know. Fear of ambiguity and uncertainty in our ambiguous and uncertain world traps us in close-mindedness.

It's extremely difficult to know something and extremely easy to think we know. Fear of ambiguity and uncertainty in our ambiguous and uncertain world traps us in close-mindedness.

Emotions

Emotional Growth: The Body Matures Faster Than Emotions

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on November 23, 2025

Poor emotion regulation skills can lead us to believe that other people control our emotions.

Poor emotion regulation skills can lead us to believe that other people control our emotions.

Relationships

Assessing Recovery from Damaged Relationships

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on November 21, 2025

Self-compassion and compassion for others are intertwined. Lacking the former, we burn out on the latter. Without the latter, self-compassion hardens into self-obsession.

Self-compassion and compassion for others are intertwined. Lacking the former, we burn out on the latter. Without the latter, self-compassion hardens into self-obsession.

Relationships

How Empathy in Love Relationships Misleads Us

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on November 14, 2025

Higher-order compassion is sympathy for vulnerabilities and hardships we do not share (or even grasp) but very much want to alleviate.

Higher-order compassion is sympathy for vulnerabilities and hardships we do not share (or even grasp) but very much want to alleviate.