Anger in the Age of Entitlement

Cleaning up emotional pollution

Steven Stosny, Ph.D.

How to Tell Good Self-Help From Bad Self-Help

Some information available in books and online is actually helpful. Some is not, and some may make things worse.

Your Partner May Be Suffering Cynical Depression

The cynically depressed won’t admit to being depressed but will readily admit to being resentful; that sounds like their bad feelings are someone else’s fault.

When Compassion Is Freely Available, It’s Seldom Needed

Through no fault of their own, many people suffer disabling inhibitions that stifle their natural motivation to be compassionate. They cannot heal old hurts.

How to Discuss and Disagree Without Arguing

Discussions turn into arguments when disagreement seems like a loss of status or a threat to one's ego.

The Harmful Consequences of Contempt

As long as contempt persists, any positive behavior change by one partner will seem like too little, too late.

Engines of Chronic Resentment, Anger, and Emotional Abuse

Once resentment becomes part of an automatic defense system, resolving “issues” gives only the most temporary relief, before the resentment attaches to other behaviors.

The Shadows of Interactions

Human interactions that stir any emotion can go terribly wrong when we’re insensitive to their shadow workings.

The Lost Virtue of Reserving Judgment

For the intellectually honest, doubt is an invaluable asset that stimulates interest and motivates learning.

How to Build Self-Value and Stop Making Things Worse

When we act on the emotions that make us feel vulnerable—such as guilt, shame, fear, sadness, and grief—they’re self-correcting.

Emotional Power and Genuine Self-Value

Unregulated emotional reactivity can turn us into what we despise.

Why Americans Are Frustrated, Entitled, and Judgmental

In an ambiguous world, we're rather feel certain than be right.

The Remorse of Abusers

Remorse is the hidden engine of the well-known cycle of abuse, often giving false hope to victims.

Does Resentment or Anger Rule Your Home?

Once resentment or anger become part of a person’s defense system, focusing on specifics that trigger resentful or angry response will yield only temporary improvement at best.

3 Questions Partners Should Ask Each Other

When relationships run on autopilot, everyone feels taken for granted, if not invisible or unheard.

4 Attitudes of a Good Life

To ensure well-being, these four attitudes must become behavioral habits.

Does It Feel Like Some People Bring Out the Worst in You?

The aspect of emotional reactivity that makes it difficult to see, let alone change, is its illusion of free will.

Emotional Power

We can regulate emotions by changing perceptions of self and/or other people.

The Epidemic of Certainty

Negative labels have become little more than stereotypes and slurs for people who don’t validate those who use them.

Invisible Currents Beneath Waves of Stress

The way most people cope with anxiety further magnifies the worst effects of stress. They blame it on someone.

Compassion, Resentment and Anger in Love

Resentment and anger in love relationships are unlike the variations of those emotions in other social contexts.

The Hierarchy of Empowerment

The single most empowering behavior is fidelity to your deepest, most humane values.

The Dynamics of Anger and Resentment

Once anger and resentment become part of an automatic defensive system, they cannot be overcome with a focus on what triggers anger/resentment.

How to Outgrow the Shadows of Depression

Once the acute pain of depression ameliorates, many experience a hollow feeling that traps them in the outer shadows of depression.

How We Feel vs. How We Look

Accountability, like fairness, is a standard to which we rigidly hold other people.

Cultural Obstacles to Self-Regulation

We’ve lost touch with the internal message of emotions to be true to personal values and beliefs, which makes us easy prey for cultural manipulation.

How Social Media Differences Can Warp Relationships

The conflicts fostered by social media are more temperamental than factual.

Why You and Your Partner Remember Things Differently

“Revisionist history,” in reference to individuals, is synonymous with “memory.”

How to Empower Bullied Children

The internet has taken the dark practice of bullying to new dimensions, making it ubiquitous and inescapable.

How Emotional Reactivity Causes Conflict

In the experience of negative emotions, most thought processes work to justify our feelings rather than to test the reality of our assumptions.

Treating Two Major Types of Emotional Abusers

When abusers feel disappointed, sad, guilty, ashamed, anxious, or unlovable, they automatically blame partners or children.

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