Anger in the Age of Entitlement

Relationships

Achieving Intimacy in an Angry World

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on December 7, 2025

Resentment is rampant in our polarized world. It takes effort to keep it out of our relationships, where it is likely to destroy intimacy.

Resentment is rampant in our polarized world. It takes effort to keep it out of our relationships, where it is likely to destroy intimacy.

Relationships

Feeling Loved vs. Being Lovable

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on December 5, 2025

Feeling loved is about the way we’re treated by loved ones. Feeling lovable, i.e., worthy of love, comes from the ways we treat loved ones.

Feeling loved is about the way we’re treated by loved ones. Feeling lovable, i.e., worthy of love, comes from the ways we treat loved ones.

Self-Help

Beware of Feeling Certain

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on November 28, 2025

It's extremely difficult to know something and extremely easy to think we know. Fear of ambiguity and uncertainty in our ambiguous and uncertain world traps us in close-mindedness.

It's extremely difficult to know something and extremely easy to think we know. Fear of ambiguity and uncertainty in our ambiguous and uncertain world traps us in close-mindedness.

Emotions

Emotional Growth: The Body Matures Faster Than Emotions

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on November 23, 2025

Poor emotion regulation skills can lead us to believe that other people control our emotions.

Poor emotion regulation skills can lead us to believe that other people control our emotions.

Relationships

Assessing Recovery from Damaged Relationships

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on November 21, 2025

Self-compassion and compassion for others are intertwined. Lacking the former, we burn out on the latter. Without the latter, self-compassion hardens into self-obsession.

Self-compassion and compassion for others are intertwined. Lacking the former, we burn out on the latter. Without the latter, self-compassion hardens into self-obsession.

Relationships

How Empathy in Love Relationships Misleads Us

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on November 14, 2025

Higher-order compassion is sympathy for vulnerabilities and hardships we do not share (or even grasp) but very much want to alleviate.

Higher-order compassion is sympathy for vulnerabilities and hardships we do not share (or even grasp) but very much want to alleviate.

Self-Help

How to Develop Autopilot Wellness

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on November 9, 2025

Genuine confidence is not about living mistake-free, with nothing bad happening. It’s about making good things happen and improving the bad things that will happen.

Genuine confidence is not about living mistake-free, with nothing bad happening. It’s about making good things happen and improving the bad things that will happen.

Self-Help

What Contribution Do We Make?

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on November 7, 2025

To contribute is to give something of value—time, effort, knowledge, kindness, or creativity—to others or to a cause larger than oneself. In doing so, we find purpose.

To contribute is to give something of value—time, effort, knowledge, kindness, or creativity—to others or to a cause larger than oneself. In doing so, we find purpose.

Relationships

Misunderstandings in Love

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on November 2, 2025

To paraphrase the Buddha, much of the suffering in the world comes from wishing it were not the way it is. Nowhere is this truer than in differences between loved ones.

To paraphrase the Buddha, much of the suffering in the world comes from wishing it were not the way it is. Nowhere is this truer than in differences between loved ones.

Relationships

Barriers to Compassion

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on October 31, 2025

It’s so painful when loved ones have negative impressions of us that we perceive them as attacks and attack back, aggravating their negative impressions.

It’s so painful when loved ones have negative impressions of us that we perceive them as attacks and attack back, aggravating their negative impressions.

Relationships

The Core Self in Love

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on October 24, 2025

In love relationships, appreciate as many differences as you can and tolerate the ones you can’t appreciate.

In love relationships, appreciate as many differences as you can and tolerate the ones you can’t appreciate.

Memory

Memory and the Sense of Self

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on October 19, 2025

On autopilot, memories generalize, which can temporarily enhance the sense of self or diminish it.

On autopilot, memories generalize, which can temporarily enhance the sense of self or diminish it.

Self-Help

Change or Die

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on October 17, 2025

We change our brains through repeated focus on specific thoughts and behaviors. Repeated focus forms new habits of thought, feeling, and behavior.

We change our brains through repeated focus on specific thoughts and behaviors. Repeated focus forms new habits of thought, feeling, and behavior.

Relationships

How Relationship Harmony is Maintained

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on October 12, 2025

Committed partners typically share common values—yet most arguments are about ego conflicts that breed resentment, contempt, and eventual detachment.

Committed partners typically share common values—yet most arguments are about ego conflicts that breed resentment, contempt, and eventual detachment.

Self-Help

Traps of Trying to Win "Hearts and Minds"

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on October 10, 2025

Indoctrination exploits the human desire for simple explanations that create illusions of certainty. Knowing is an absence of doubt. Indoctrination is the suppression of doubt.

Indoctrination exploits the human desire for simple explanations that create illusions of certainty. Knowing is an absence of doubt. Indoctrination is the suppression of doubt.

Burnout

Self-Reward: The Power of Brief Utterances

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on October 5, 2025

Unlike external rewards, which depend on the approval of others, self-reward is rooted in self-awareness and self-compassion. It can help build resilience for a better life.

Unlike external rewards, which depend on the approval of others, self-reward is rooted in self-awareness and self-compassion. It can help build resilience for a better life.

Marriage

How to Avoid Relationship Resignation Zones

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on September 28, 2025

What memories about your relationship would you most like to have a decade from now? What will you need to do to create the memories you would most like to have?

What memories about your relationship would you most like to have a decade from now? What will you need to do to create the memories you would most like to have?

Relationships

How to Love Well for a Long Time

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on September 21, 2025

Long-term devotion is a mental state and a choice.

Long-term devotion is a mental state and a choice.

Social Media

Different Ways to Look at the World

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on September 14, 2025

Masks of truth are deceptive or misleading statements intended to sound like facts, supported only by opinion or cherry-picked evidence, or directly contradicted by evidence.

Masks of truth are deceptive or misleading statements intended to sound like facts, supported only by opinion or cherry-picked evidence, or directly contradicted by evidence.

Relationships

The Benefits of Relationship Premortems

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. on September 12, 2025

A premortem is identifying and correcting what is likely to make the relationship fail. It’s a more accessible way for clients to apprehend the long-term effects of their behavior.

A premortem is identifying and correcting what is likely to make the relationship fail. It’s a more accessible way for clients to apprehend the long-term effects of their behavior.