Ambigamy

Insights for the deeply romantic and deeply skeptical

The Mind-Eating Virus Most Likely to Cause Human Extinction

The viral switch that turns on absolutism, narcissism, and total jerk behavior is a toggle switch freeing people to identify as both proud saint and proud sinner.

Content-Deafness: Not Caring About Word Meanings

You love the rock anthem: The lyrics just sound so true and proud, even though you don't know what they mean. That's content-deafness. At the extreme, it's easy and very dangerous.

3 Non-Partisan Gullibility Tests

People often justify their brand loyalty with generic rhetoric. For example, "make America great again." Who doesn't want that? Here are three tests to prevent gullibility.

Your To-Don’t List: The Other Key to Greater Productivity

People often assume that change comes from adding tasks. It comes as much from eliminating tasks.

When Is It Best to Lie, Fight, Be Negative and Intolerant?

Lying is always bad except when it's good. Recursion suggests how to find exceptions to moral rules.

Go Deep and Authentic? Sometimes Shallow Imitation Is Better

We carry urges we can't afford to act upon authentically. It's to our ecological and psychological benefit to sublimate them into harmless, shallow, imitation activities.

Emotions Evolved to Track Reality but Can Take Us off Track

With feelings and concepts, humans have always been a cocky species. Today it manifests as faith that our wishful thinking is scientifically affirmed.

What Are You? What Is a Self?

A scientific explanation of selfhood not nearly as popular as the material or magic alternatives, perhaps because it admits to our profound vulnerability.

Universal Human Vulnerability

Assume your selfhood is eternal or that it's just an illusion (to whom?): Those two popular conclusions in science and spirituality ignore our very real vulnerability.

Overcoming an Addiction to a Lost Cause

Faith can be addictive much like a drug. There ought to be "Lost Cause Annonymous" groups. Short of that, here are some reflections on giving up and holding on gracefully.

The Anti-Scientific "Faith Method" Could Get Us All Killed

You rely on the scientific method more than you notice. And yet you make room for the anti-scientific faith method, its comforting yet dangerous opposite.

The Second Absolute Narcissist's Playbook

Part 2: The tricks we use when we're willing to say or do anything to protect against the possibility that we're wrong.

The First Absolute Narcissist's Playbook

Part 1: The tricks people will use when they're willing to say or do anything to pretend they're always right.

Egonomics: The Supply of, and Demand for, Ego-Feed

Affirmation takes many forms, but we all end up wanting some. Egonomics is the study of the supply of and demand for affirmation.

Head Hurts? Numb Skulls Have a Solution!

How people go from fearing to welcoming chaos.

Fake It Til You Make It vs. Face It Til You Make It

Is it better to be hopeful or realistic? To downplay problems so they go away, or to expose them so they go away? The answer is both depending on the situation.

How to Defend Yourself Without Appearing Defensive

Defending others is much easier than defending yourself without appearing defensive. Here are some ways to keep your defense from backfiring.

Selfless Narcissists? The Paradox of the Headless Egomaniac

Challenge a narcissist and it feels like you're swiping at thin air. Here's an explanation for how that happens.

A Simple Key to More Satisfying Conversations

Are you shooting the breeze, exploring, or debating? Guess wrong and someone will end up frustrated.

If Self-Help Starts Feeling Unhelpful Here's Why

There's wisdom in going through and getting beyond simple, pat, pop-psych solutions. Here's how to find it.

How People Psychologize Unwisely

Informing our confirmation bias with psychology can turn us into self-congratulatory psychologizers. Here's how and a tip for avoiding this unwise tendency.

How to Avoid Being Suckered Again

To learn from your past gullibilities, develop your suckered-prevention skills.

Stop Overestimating Narcissists and Gaslighters

Here's how to respond to their harmful habits.

Explaining the Narcissistic “Critical Thinkers" in Your Life

Critical thinking is crucial but very easily abused by narcissists and gaslighters.

A Simple Way to Decide Who to Trust

Second-guessing is doubting whether you walk your talk. Second-yessing is reassuring yourself that you do.

I'm a Conservative, I'm a Liberal, Just Like You

A longest-view perspective on political rationalization grounded in the very origins of life and how it changes for language-wielding self-rationalizing humans.