Ambigamy

Insights for the deeply romantic and deeply skeptical

Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D.

You Are an Emergent Constraint

The great scientific puzzle underlying all life and social science: Life is something different from nothing but chemistry. What could it be? Here's a promising new solution.

Troll Model

We'd all like relief from life's uncertainty. Total jerks try to take their relief at other people's expense.

If We All Lie, What Distinguishes a Liar?

Lying sets us free more than we care to admit. So what's the real difference between a healthy and an unhealthy liar? Just asking the question sets you on the right path.

Here's Why We Often Talk Past Each Other

The aspirational gap, the gap between what is and what we hope will be, is a great chasm we often find ourselves shouting across. Learn how to manage it for better communication.

Beware the Dissociation Death Spiral

When reality gets too hard to face, we dissociate. Neglecting reality, we make it worse, which makes us dissociate even more. That's the dissociation death spiral we must counter.

The Self-Aggrandizing Myth of Universal Unconditional Love

The alternative to greed, selfishness, and egomania? It's not all-embracing love, despite what many claim.

The Right and Wrong of Ridicule

In mocking Blasey Ford, did Trump cross a line? What line? Here we look at ridicule, a popular power move that sometimes helps, sometimes harms.

Psychic Momentum

We dread being jerked around because it causes us to doubt our paths. We'd rather merrily roll along. Resilience can be a problem, not just a solution.

Uncredible! The Logical Fallacies Made Street Smart

How to call BS carefully.

How to Avoid Wasting Decades on Fool’s Errands

People see the light and go blind all around you, not noticing that they're on the wrong track. Here are 10 tips for avoiding that kind of mistake.

Making Science and Atheism Honest About What Matters Most

Psychologists today are like electrical engineers who had no idea what electricity is. We know what motives yield but not what they are. That's a problem to be solved.

How Over-Commitment Happens

When you're in a hole, "stop digging" is easier said than done. Our commitments sneak up on us and grow with time.

How Can You Tell Who's a Lying, Hypocritical Egomaniac?

Think it's easy to spot the evil, hypocritical liars among us? You can't even begin unless you factor in a few complications.

You're a Badass

No one knows what it's like to be you. If they did, they'd be impressed, not that that can be as much comfort as you'd like.

Landing Lust: The Human Drive Behind Many Human Drives

Landing lust: An appetite to rise above your humanness to superhuman status, at long last landing above all doubt and anxiety.

A Therapy Alternative: Keep a Commonplace Book

To get out of your head, take notes on reality. Keep a journal of your reflections on us, not for fame or fortune but because it's one of the most meaningful things we can do.

How to Guess When You're Dealing With a Know-It-All

The only thing worse than being unreceptive with receptive people is being receptive with unreceptive people. It pays to figure out which kind of person you're dealing with.

The Happy, Healthy Narcissist

Everyone is a bit narcissistic. Here are seven tips for managing your narcissism to good effect.

Ayahuasca Taught Me a Republican Lesson

To the extent possible, don't tread on me or anyone: What a surprise to discover a Republican takeaway through a psychedelic trip.

Sympathy for the Devil?

Is compassion a reliable way to relax frightened jerks enough to get them off their high horse? No. And still, they're frightened. Like us all.

The Difference Between Honesty and Truth

Honesty: Expressing your feelings and opinions accurately. Truth: Accurate representation of reality. Ignore this difference, and you'll mistake earnestness for truth.

Not a Culture War but a Patriotic Defense Against all Cults

Cults – people playing infallible, invincible, unassailable gods—are a threat to any country. It is our unifying patriotic duty to resist them from any corner.

How to Give Jerks a Hard Time Without Becoming One

We often get deadlocked in mutual finger-pointing. Here's an easy, honest way out.

Trump Card Cults

Cults don’t brainwash; they head swell. People throw all in to cults so they can keep all self-doubt out.

Why People Become Narcissists, Gaslighters and Cult Members

We self-sooth with prejudice. At the extreme, we get ourselves a deck of trump cards that frees us to be prejudiced against anyone who gives us a hard time.

25 Bits of Non-Partisan Wisdom that Jerks Just Don't Get

Tried and true alternatives to tired and untrue nonsense you'll hear at home, work, church and watching the news.

Is the Trump Party a Cult? It Depends on How We Define Cult

Senator Bob Corker recently suggested that the GOP is becoming a cult to Trump. If he’s right, it no longer should be called the Republican Party. It’s the Trump Party, now.

"Just Be Kind" Is More Complicated than It Sounds

A conversation with someone who argues that being kind is the no-compromise answer.

How People Pretend to Care Most When They Couldn't Care Less

Real change takes effort. An easy alternative is embracing token causes, collecting a charm bracelet you tinkle as if you're tolling bells of epic righteousness.

Universal Qualities of Jerks

Wherever there's intelligent life in the universe there would also be total jerks. Here, 15 universal traits of absolute jerkdom.

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