Ambigamy

Insights for the deeply romantic and deeply skeptical

Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D.

How to Guess When You're Dealing With a Know-It-All

The only thing worse than being unreceptive with receptive people is being receptive with unreceptive people. It pays to figure out which kind of person you're dealing with.

The Happy, Healthy Narcissist

Everyone is a bit narcissistic. Here are seven tips for managing your narcissism to good effect.

Ayahuasca Taught Me a Republican Lesson

To the extent possible, don't tread on me or anyone: What a surprise to discover a Republican takeaway through a psychedelic trip.

Sympathy for the Devil?

Is compassion a reliable way to relax frightened jerks enough to get them off their high horse? No. And still, they're frightened. Like us all.

The Difference Between Honesty and Truth

Honesty: Expressing your feelings and opinions accurately. Truth: Accurate representation of reality. Ignore this difference, and you'll mistake earnestness for truth.

Not a Culture War but a Patriotic Defense Against all Cults

Cults – people playing infallible, invincible, unassailable gods—are a threat to any country. It is our unifying patriotic duty to resist them from any corner.

How to Give Jerks a Hard Time Without Becoming One

We often get deadlocked in mutual finger-pointing. Here's an easy, honest way out.

Trump Card Cults

Cults don’t brainwash; they head swell. People throw all in to cults so they can keep all self-doubt out.

Why People Become Narcissists, Gaslighters and Cult Members

We self-sooth with prejudice. At the extreme, we get ourselves a deck of trump cards that frees us to be prejudiced against anyone who gives us a hard time.

25 Bits of Non-Partisan Wisdom that Jerks Just Don't Get

Tried and true alternatives to tired and untrue nonsense you'll hear at home, work, church and watching the news.

Is the Trump Party a Cult? It Depends on How We Define Cult

Senator Bob Corker recently suggested that the GOP is becoming a cult to Trump. If he’s right, it no longer should be called the Republican Party. It’s the Trump Party, now.

"Just Be Kind" Is More Complicated than It Sounds

A conversation with someone who argues that being kind is the no-compromise answer.

How People Pretend to Care Most When They Couldn't Care Less

Real change takes effort. An easy alternative is embracing token causes, collecting a charm bracelet you tinkle as if you're tolling bells of epic righteousness.

Universal Qualities of Jerks

Wherever there's intelligent life in the universe there would also be total jerks. Here, 15 universal traits of absolute jerkdom.

Compromise or Hypocrisy: Take Your Pick

Accumulating moral principles to live by is like piling tasks on your to-do list: The more you have, the more you'll cut corners.

Honorable and Dangerous Fake Believers

Many "true believers" just give lip service to their movement. Some know it's just lip service. The dangerous ones don't, enjoying all the benefits but making few of the sacrifice.

Considering a Trip into Old Age?

Notes to myself on my 62nd birthday as I continue to pursue realistic resignation about my lucky life's inevitable tapering off.

5 Tips for Better Doubt and Regret Management

Sure, you can escape doubt and regret. Many do, but at a huge cost. Here are five simple techniques for wringing the best and avoiding the worst in both emotions.

How to Escape Ruts, Really

Ten things to keep in mind if you don't want to end up back where you started.

Real Friends Laugh at Each Other, with Each Other

How to take yourself seriously in a self-amusing way.

Is It Better to Believe that the Universe Is Fair or Unfair?

Life is unfair, but you get back exactly what you put out. Wait, how does that work?

How to Snub a Troll

Today's trolls are tomorrow's goon squads. We need to nip them in the bud. Here's why and how, the product of my ongoing research into how to snub trolls.

Stop Blaming Yourself or Your Exes

Recognizing how hard partnership really is can make it a whole lot easier to forgive ourselves and our partners.

Magical Thinking Is Not a Rare Pathology

Magical thinking is not some rare pathology. It's universal, checked by general ed, a careful early orientation to reality. Without that orientation, we get addicted to delusion.

What Comes After Post-Truth Politics?

What would leadership sound like if pandering stops working?

Intelligent Design's One Valid Scientific Point

Intelligent Design poses a great question that scientists skirt. What is agency? What accounts for our functional, fitted behavior?

Retro-Gloating: "I Won So From Now on I Always Win!"

Retro-gloating is pretending you're fighting a fight you already won or claiming eternal victory for having won it, rather than facing new challenges.

Tease-Test Your Courtships

Looking for chemistry in a new partnership? Look for the ability to tease each other without taking offense. Healthy teasing is love lube for the long haul.

Time to Update Our Definition of a Sinner

We tend to diagnose sinners or buttheads based on their beliefs, motivations or tactics. All three are problematic. Instead, focus on what people gain by being one.

Are You Dating Someone Who Runs Very Hot and Very Cold?

If you're dating someone who runs piping hot and icy cold, you are not alone. Here's some context.

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