Thick Skin Pays Off in Leadership

Women still dodge low balls in the public sphere. They are ready to brush off personal attacks to focus on what matters to them in politics or in the workplace. Whether we are talking about Hillary Clinton or Sarah Palin, we all agree that thick skin pays off in leadership positions. The most humiliating moments for either one of these two candidates may have been when their personal lives were questioned: for Palin, needing to "prove" to the world that her youngest son was really hers and not her daughter's (a lioness in defense of not one but two of her cubs) or putting up with the media's criticisim of a woman not being able to be a good mother and an effective leader at the same time. While hers has been a recent bout with the sometimes heartless media, Clinton's putting up with her husband's infidelity disclosed to the world while in power has been public for years. After something as embarrassing as her marriage made public, I don't believe there is anything that nominee for Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, can't face. These women have what it takes in a tough world: they have thick skin.

Pros of having thick skin in the workplace:

1. Although most people like to be liked, others strive on getting things done regardless of whether they win the popularity contest or not.

2. Disregarding both hurtful and senseless criticisms will allow you to focus on the bottom line, the common goal, without being distracted by personal attacks. This does not mean that leaders don't listen to others' advice; it just means they should be able to filter personal attacks and dismiss them.

3. Inner strength shows itself not when the world is praising you but when others are critical. It is easy to feel powerful when everyone around you is smiling at you, but the criticisms truly show who your true friends and foes are.

Some cons about having thick skin in the workplace:

1. Many see this inner feeling of self-assurance as outward arrogance, creating distance between the leader and his or her employees.

2. Because others may perceive this "arrogant" leader as cold, robotic, and manipulative, many will suggest that the leader does not care about or even understand them.

3. This strength may be perceived as unemotional in others, particularly if the leader is a woman. The gender expectation is that a woman leader is generally more dramatic or more emotion-driven.

Food for thought: Do you have thick skin or are you a drama queen? What are the advantages you've observed in leaders with thick skin versus the prima donnas? When is it a good idea to have thick skin and when is it a good idea to speak up about unfair comments? Do you notice gender differences in the way men and women control their emotions in the workplace?