The Moveable Feast of Memory

When they first came from Russia I was struck at how well my kids knew their way around a kitchen. They made complicated Russian delicacies--blinis, piroshky--from, ahem, scratch.

Inspired by their talent and gift, I set out to cook something "Russian." Soups were the friendliest, easiest dishes to make. My kids especially liked a particular vegetarian borscht that I made with a ton of vegetables including a single beet which colored the broth a delightful magenta and added a sweet, fragrant tang to the taste. I don't think it tasted anything like the borscht they ate in Russia, which is typically made with meat. But something about that lovely little beet, and what it did to the appearance and the taste evoked a visceral memory that always left them at once satisfied and wanting more.

More and more I was thinking about food and memory. My mother wasn't much of a cook, but I have sweet memories of when she cooked-everything from spaghetti with Ragu (I got that recipe from her!) that took 10 minutes to the potato latkes fried in an electric pan that took an entire day. Both have always been keen memories for me. After our girls arrived I started pondering even more the bonds and feelings food evokes. The more I thought about it the more questions I had. I am grateful to Monica Bhide, a food writer, columnist for the The Washington Post and author of Modern Spice (with a foreword by Mark Bittman) for stepping away from her busy kitchen to consider my questions. Here we discuss food, family and the kinds of memories we all seem to have.

Meredith: What is it about food that creates bonds between people? Bonds and memories?
MONICA: Food is so intimate. Think about it - we touch it, we smell it, we taste it. It touches us in so many ways. I think it is this intimacy and the feeling that it provides that bonds us with food and with people. How many times have you heard - this smell reminds me of the coffee from XX place; that rice reminds me of my grandmothers pudding; or the smell of sizzling bacon takes me back to my father's farm. I think food connects us to others in a very universal and yet very intimate way.

Meredith: To me, food provides a sense of place, one that can be soothing and comforting, evocative. How does this translate to the family?
MONICA: What a great question. It is precisely because food evokes such strong emotions that it ties back to people. Let me explain - I was talking with a friend the other day who was reminiscing how her mother never cooked. Well, actually she was telling me her mother's idea of cooking was feeding the seven kids with whatever she could open with a can opener, ten minutes before dinner. This experience, while negative in terms of food, still had a positive impact on her. How? It was the time she and her siblings would bond about what "gloop" would be served for dinner that night and how it motivated them to learn how to cook so that they could save themselves. It bought them closer as a family. So it isn't just delicious food, perfectly presented brings family together!

Meredith: What's your favorite family activity related to food/meal time? Are there any rituals you love? Ones you care to share?
MONICA: Shopping together for food, cooking together, eating together. .. everything! My two-year-old helps lay the table - spoons and steel glasses and napkins. My ten-year-old helps me shop and has learnt how to tell food that is good for you from products that aren't. I think my favorite ritual around food is on Sundays when we spend time cooking and chatting and eating for a better part of the morning. It is so simple, isn't it? Chatting, laughing eating. But it has given birth to some of our best memories - how the baby learned to love bread while watching his brother eat, how the boys have a fun time drinking strawberry milk from a bowl with a straw, how my hubby and I get to watch our kids blossom as we feed not only their tummies but their minds. I test a lot of recipes for a living and this has really helped us bond - as I bring in different tastes, I try to teach my older son about culture through the food he is eating. We love to talk about Spain as we sample paella, or chat about our visit to the Taj Mahal as we eat Indian chicken curry. For us, food has been a wonderful and gentle place where we can discuss just about anything. I taught my son to speak his native tongue while shelling peas.

Meredith: Of all your recipes, which one and from which book would you suggest preparing for a multi-generational family?
MONICA: I would say this one - Rice Pudding and Mango Parfait.

Thanks, Monica!