Jesus Rules!

Christ doesn't support your dumb team -- and God Bless America

Posted Oct 22, 2012

Burn, baby, burn

I channeled the following discussion during a séance I participated in, when I was infused by the spirit of someone named Buck Faulty, who said he roamed the prairies of East Texas:

In Kountze Texas, the football team used to burst through a banner, “But thanks be to God, which gives us victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."  The banner expressed the simple sentiment: "Jesus (and God, while we're at it) don't want that other scummy team to win.  He's -- They're -- Kountze fans!  Why, the other team is probably heathens, Saracens, child molesters or, if they're Christian, they don't pray the right way or long enough!"

Note that I said, the Kountze Tigers (oops, I meant Lions) used to burst through that banner.  That is, until the scum-sucking superintendent, on legal advice, felt they violated First Amendment proscriptions against government-sponsored religion and banned them.  Banned them, mind you!  Him being a Christian, mind you!  It seems some atheistic perverts -- from out of state -- objected.  You know the type I mean -- like the sorts of people who object to the part in the 12 Steps when we "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God."

The superintendent, Mr. Weldon, "contacted lawyers for the district and for the Texas Association of School Boards. Both advised him to prohibit the signs. The advice stemmed from a Supreme Court ruling in Santa Fe Independent School District v. Doe, which established that prayers led by students at high school football games were unconstitutional."  Then the cheerleaders sued his ass -- thank God!

Boy, I'd like to know who supports the superintendent in that case. A troop of us would be over there lickety split shooting holes in their windows, like with those Jews who objected to school prayer.  You remember -- those Jews who sued over the Regents' Prayer in Herricks, Long Island -- which us Christians had been saying forever?  Then the Supreme Court came down against school prayer.

You remember how the good Cardinal Francis Spellman of New York reacted to that decision, Engel v. Vitale, even though the Regents' Prayer was Protestant?

New York Cardinal Francis Spellman saw no problem with the Regents’ Prayer. For him, and the church hierarchy generally, secularism in public education was now a greater evil for Catholic children than what were essentially Protestant forms of worship.

Spellman worked behind the scenes to help the Herricks school board line up legal firepower, and when the Supreme Court decision came down, the high-profile prelate blasted it, saying the ruling “shocked and frightened” him.

The Jesuit magazine America went beyond that, running a column many Jews interpreted as anti-Semitic. The piece implied that Jews should simply accept minority status, asserting that they must decide “what bargain they are willing to strike as one of the minorities in a pluralistic society.”

The nation’s Catholic president, John F. Kennedy, disagreed. In the face of increasingly vociferous attacks on the high court, Kennedy appealed for calm and, during a press conference, reminded people who were upset over the Engel ruling that they could always pray more at home.

What the Hell was the matter with that _____________ Kennedy, for God's sake?  Well, the government in this Texas case is reacting the right way, thank God (and sweet Jesus). 

Steve Stockman, a born-again Christian and former congressman running for re-election in the area, suggested that Mr. Weldon’s job was on the line. “Banning religion is a direct assault on our founding principles,” Mr. Stockman said in a statement. “This is East Texas, not San Francisco. The superintendent can either overturn his ban on religion, or pack his bags.”

Get out of town, dog Weldon!  San Francisco's perfect for him; he's probably gay -- which, we all know, is a sin against Jesus and God.  Even the Governor prays at school events in Texas! And, one thing we can bet on, if Mitt Romney is elected President, then the Supreme Court will be stocked with Christians who would never let something like that happen again!  Maybe they can reverse school prayer when Romney gets in.  We'll finally have a President who pulls no punches that this is a Christian, God-fearing nation! 

Stanton Peele back: I agree with Buck there.

Follow Stanton on Twitter.