Friendfluence: How Friends Can Help Vs. Hurt Your Dating

When it comes to dating, are you getting high with a little help from your friends, as that Beatles song goes?

Source: Jill Wellington / Pexels

When it comes to dating, are you getting by with a little help from your friends, as that Beatles song goes? Or are your friends instead going bye-bye when you ask them for some assistance? Well, the fact that Tinder’s Year in Swipe 2025 report listed "Friendfluence" as one of the dating trends for 2026 is a friendly reminder that your friends can play a significant role in how successful versus not successful you are in dating.

Friendfluence is the portmanteau of the words "friends" and "influence" in the title of a 2013 book by former Psychology Today editor Carlin Flora that described what the term means. Friendfluence signifies the significant influence that your friends have on your behavior, personality, preferences, and decision-making. Tinder chose "friendfluence" as a dating trend based on the results from a survey of 4,000 daters aged 18 to 25 years in the United States, United Kingdom, Canada, and Australia. This survey—conducted from October 2025 through November 2025 by Opinium on behalf of Tinder—found that 42 percent of respondents indicated that their friends influence their dating lives, 37 percent plan to go on group or double dates in 2026, and 34 percent gain hope from seeing their friends’ relationships.

So, if your dating life is not going as you'd like, sure, you should look at yourself and make some needed changes—like maybe not say the word "slay" quite as often, choose somewhere else besides the bathroom to take your dating profile photo, or stop talking about your ex within five minutes of meeting anyone. At the same time, though, don't forget to look at the people closest to you and see how they may be helping versus hurting your romantic cause in the following ways:

Are Your Friends Influencing Your Dating Preferences in a Positive Way?

Lots of rom-com movies feature friends who are bad influences, like ones who urge the main character against dating the nerd, wallflower, or otherwise unpopular person who turns out to be the main character's McDreamy and McSteamy. Since all rom-coms, of course, are completely accurate depictions of real life, this is a reminder to be mindful of what dating preferences your friends may be pushing on you and whether such preferences serve you or them. True friends want the best for you, take the time to actually get to know you, and can serve as your romantic GPS in different ways. For example, say you keep dating the same bad boy or girl archetype, your friends can tell you, "In a quarter mile...you'll be driving off a cliff."

Are Your Friends Influencing You to Go to the Right Activities?

Your friends can shape your social activities, as well, which, in turn, can determine whom you might meet. For example, in my early 20s, friends of mine at the time went clubbing a lot. So, take a wild guess as to where I ended up a lot on weekends. What I could have used back then was a gentle club to the head to make me realize that dance clubs were not the best places to meet the right people, and these friends were not the best friends to have. Therefore, if your friends keep bringing you to the wrong social activities, consider finding new activities for everyone to go to or finding new friends.

Are Your Friends Influencing Others to Meet You?

Speaking of social activities, it can be tough meeting new people if you're always winging it on your own. So, see if your friends can serve as your wing people, brokering introductions for you—sort of like how Barney would repeatedly ask different women, "Have you met Ted?" in the TV series "How I Met Your Mother." Of course, your friends should cast you in a good light and not say something like, "This is Philomena. She's kind of desperate. Will you give her a chance?" Your friends could even go one step further and set you up on blind dates with single people they have identified. Don't be afraid to ask your friends for such things. After all, think of how many now married couples first met each other through friends.

Are Your Friends Influencing What Your Dates Think of You in a Positive Way?

Oh, and all the while, potential dates will be looking at your friends to determine what kind of person you are, given the whole "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with" saying. That means assessing whether your friends are bleep-heads or treat you like bleep. After all, spending time with you presumably will mean spending time with your friends.

Are Your Friends Influencing Your Dates in a Positive Way?

And when you actually go on dates, you do bring your friends along in different ways. They can be there in spirit, as their dating advice, styles, and behaviors can rub off on you. But your friends can be there in actuality, too, such as double dating with you or "accidentally" running into you while you are on your date. So, naturally, you would want the friends alongside you to actually be on your side and support you.

Are Your Friends a Good Influence in General?

When you do have good friends around you, you don't feel quite as alone, which is important since dating can be an isolating, frustrating, soul-crushing experience, especially when you can't find what you want or keep getting rejected. Good friends can help you get the big "O"—meaning optimism, of course—encouraging you when you feel down and reminding you of all you have to offer. This can help you pump up the big "C"—meaning confidence—which in turn can significantly improve your attractiveness. Your friends can also help you game plan before and during approaches to dating prospects and debrief afterwards. So don't be afraid to ask for help.

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Plus, how your friends respond can be very telling about your friendships—giving the lowdown of what they deep down think about you. For example, any reluctance to help might suggest that they, in fact, have a rather low opinion of you, which is important to know. In the long run, you do want friends around you who make you feel better and stronger, who can help you achieve things that you couldn't alone—rather than the opposite. In other words, you do in fact want to get high with a little help from your friends.