Recent Posts

When Grief Changes How We See the World

Listening to a young man describe the loss of his mother changed the way I understood my own grief.

Listening to a young man describe the loss of his mother changed the way I understood my own grief.

Can Smutty TV Change Relationship Expectations?

Modern romantasy and "smutty" TV may be shaping expectations not only about sex, but also about emotional intimacy, communication, and what we want in romantic partners.

Modern romantasy and "smutty" TV may be shaping expectations not only about sex, but also about emotional intimacy, communication, and what we want in romantic partners.

Dodging Discomfort

Everyone deserves to feel good and have their needs met. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way.

Everyone deserves to feel good and have their needs met. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way.

Rebuilding After Betrayal

Discover why grieving the relationship you once had may be the key to rebuilding a stronger, more honest partnership after infidelity.

Discover why grieving the relationship you once had may be the key to rebuilding a stronger, more honest partnership after infidelity.

The Life You Never Chose Always Looks Better

The life you imagine may not be better than the one you chose; it may simply be protected from reality.

The life you imagine may not be better than the one you chose; it may simply be protected from reality.

When Problems Paradoxically Hold a Couple Together

Psychological symptoms or relationship distress sometimes persist because they are (unconsciously) doing a "job" that you don't know how to do any other way.

Psychological symptoms or relationship distress sometimes persist because they are (unconsciously) doing a "job" that you don't know how to do any other way.

The Evidence on Two Therapies Boost Women’s Sexual Desire

For women distressed about low—or no—sexual desire, two psychological therapies work better than the drug treatment, and cost less.

For women distressed about low—or no—sexual desire, two psychological therapies work better than the drug treatment, and cost less.

Making the Most of a College Tour

As summer college tour season heats up, find out how parents can support their kids' decision-making while letting them take the lead.

As summer college tour season heats up, find out how parents can support their kids' decision-making while letting them take the lead.

Narcissism and Romantic Relationships: Breaking the Spell

Neurotic narcissism hinders and undermines intimacy.

Neurotic narcissism hinders and undermines intimacy.

How Twins Use Their Similarities to Get Their Own Way

Unfortunately, the closeness of twinship is problematic for developing one's own special and distinctive identity.

Unfortunately, the closeness of twinship is problematic for developing one's own special and distinctive identity.

How 5 Classic Rom-Coms Teach Us to Love Better

Before dating apps, many of us learned about love from the movies. Here's what five classic rom-coms can still teach us about vulnerability, risk, and commitment.

Before dating apps, many of us learned about love from the movies. Here's what five classic rom-coms can still teach us about vulnerability, risk, and commitment.

Before You Send That AI-Written Text, Answer This

AI can improve difficult conversations, but it only knows your side of the story. Learn the one question to ask before sending an AI-written relationship text.

AI can improve difficult conversations, but it only knows your side of the story. Learn the one question to ask before sending an AI-written relationship text.

The Relationship Lessons Hidden in the Film, The Invite

The film The Invite reveals the hidden costs of silence, the power of honest conversations, and why love is a choice we continue to make.

The film The Invite reveals the hidden costs of silence, the power of honest conversations, and why love is a choice we continue to make.

Do You Say to Yourself “They Hurt Me"? Read This First

Life's difficulties do not always happen for a reason—they simply happen. This post offers a different perspective on suffering.

Life's difficulties do not always happen for a reason—they simply happen. This post offers a different perspective on suffering.

Don't Rush Into Couples Therapy

Did couples’ therapy fail? You may be better served by individual work.

Did couples’ therapy fail? You may be better served by individual work.

The Challenges and Opportunities of Divorce

Divorce comes with its own challenges: lifestyle, children, friends, anxiety. But embedded within are also opportunities. Here are some of the common challenges and their antidotes.

Divorce comes with its own challenges: lifestyle, children, friends, anxiety. But embedded within are also opportunities. Here are some of the common challenges and their antidotes.

The Hidden Dynamics of Defiance and How to Disarm It

Did you ever take someone's side against the one who wronged them, only to have it come back to haunt you? Learn frustration-free ways to help a stuck person who won’t take advice.

Did you ever take someone's side against the one who wronged them, only to have it come back to haunt you? Learn frustration-free ways to help a stuck person who won’t take advice.

Why Some Families Are Half Lies

Family dysfunction survives through repeated stories, half-truths, and silence. Healing begins when we stop protecting the lie and start speaking the truth.

Family dysfunction survives through repeated stories, half-truths, and silence. Healing begins when we stop protecting the lie and start speaking the truth.

Why You Can't Help Sharing the Things You Love

You've sent a song to someone at 11 p.m. You've pressed a book into a friend's hands. A new study suggests you weren't showing off. You were trying to give something away.

You've sent a song to someone at 11 p.m. You've pressed a book into a friend's hands. A new study suggests you weren't showing off. You were trying to give something away.

The Relationship Roots of Sadness

When your relationship is going well, it’s likely you feel that life in general is also pretty good. New research shows just how important a good relationship is to well-being.

When your relationship is going well, it’s likely you feel that life in general is also pretty good. New research shows just how important a good relationship is to well-being.

8 Signs Someone Truly Feels Emotionally Safe With You

Small, everyday interactions reveal whether someone truly feels safe enough to be themselves around you.

Small, everyday interactions reveal whether someone truly feels safe enough to be themselves around you.

5 Signs You're in a One-Sided Friendship (And How to Fix It)

You keep making excuses for them. You're always the one texting first. You get together and go home exhausted. Here's how to tell if a changing friendship is no longer mutual.

You keep making excuses for them. You're always the one texting first. You get together and go home exhausted. Here's how to tell if a changing friendship is no longer mutual.

Why Communication Tools Can Fail in Couple Therapy

Discover why the "skill-building" model often backfires, and learn what actually drives deep and lasting relational change.

Discover why the "skill-building" model often backfires, and learn what actually drives deep and lasting relational change.

Why Millennial Women Love "Off Campus"

Why are moms and millennial women binge-watching "Off Campus"? The answer goes beyond attractive hockey players.

Why are moms and millennial women binge-watching "Off Campus"? The answer goes beyond attractive hockey players.

The Scale of Relationship Pain

Couples who seek therapy for help dealing with conflict in their relationships often measure the pain of being in the relationship versus the pain of not.

Couples who seek therapy for help dealing with conflict in their relationships often measure the pain of being in the relationship versus the pain of not.

When the Roles Reverse: Caring for an Aging Parent

As parents age, adult children often take on new caregiving responsibilities, navigate difficult emotions, and discover opportunities for deeper connection and meaning.

As parents age, adult children often take on new caregiving responsibilities, navigate difficult emotions, and discover opportunities for deeper connection and meaning.

How to Use “Turbulence Testing” in Your Relationship

Is it time to "trip" up your relationship? "Turbulence testing" is about going on a trip with your significant other to test your compatibility. Here's how it can and can't work.

Is it time to "trip" up your relationship? "Turbulence testing" is about going on a trip with your significant other to test your compatibility. Here's how it can and can't work.

Zinedine Zidane, Relational Slack, and Forgiveness

Following Zinedine Zidane, from the 1998 World Cup final to a few stunning seconds in the 2006 final, resonated with me as a trust researcher, a parent, and a sports fan.

Following Zinedine Zidane, from the 1998 World Cup final to a few stunning seconds in the 2006 final, resonated with me as a trust researcher, a parent, and a sports fan.

What Your Emotions Are Actually For

If you were taught to see your feelings as a weakness, this may change your mind. Every emotion you have, even the uncomfortable ones, is doing an important job.

If you were taught to see your feelings as a weakness, this may change your mind. Every emotion you have, even the uncomfortable ones, is doing an important job.

3 Top Tier Emotionally Intelligent Tendencies

EI is a gift. Responding instead of reacting, setting healthy boundaries in place of being passive aggressive, & embracing accountability are top tier EI tendencies.

EI is a gift. Responding instead of reacting, setting healthy boundaries in place of being passive aggressive, & embracing accountability are top tier EI tendencies.