7 Types of Loneliness

Not all feelings of isolation are created equal. Different states of being or situations give rise to different kinds of loneliness. Once we've pinpointed the particular type we're experiencing, it may be easier to identify ways to address it.

NEW-SITUATION LONELINESS

You've moved to a new city where you don't know anyone, or you've begun a new job, or started at a school full of unfamiliar faces. It's no wonder you're lonely.

I'M-DIFFERENT LONELINESS

You feel fundamentally different from other people in a way that makes you feel isolated. Maybe you're of a different faith from those around you, or you're surrounded by people who love outdoor activities when you don't. The differences reinforce a sense of separateness.

NO-SWEETHEART LONELINESS

Even if you have a lot of family and friends, you are lonely because you don't have the intimate attachment of a romantic partner. Or maybe you have a partner, but you don't feel a profound connection to that person.

NO-ANIMAL LONELINESS

Many people have a deep need to connect with animals. If this is you, these relationships sustain you in a way that human relationships don't, and something important is missing if you don't have a dog, cat, or other companion animal in your life.

NO-TIME-FOR-YOU LONELINESS

Sometimes you're surrounded by people who seem friendly enough, but they don't want to make the jump from being friendly to being real friends. Maybe they're too busy with their own lives, or they have lots of friends already. Or maybe your existing friends have entered a new phase that means they are no longer able to do the things you used to do together. Either way, the connections are not sufficiently meaningful.

CASUAL-FRIENDS LONELINESS

Sometimes, you get into a situation where you begin to doubt that your friendships have depth. You're "friends" with people, but don't quite trust them or think they see the real you. An important element of friendship is the ability to confide and trust, so if that's missing, you may feel lonely, even if you do have fun together.

QUIET-PRESENCE LONELINESS

Sometimes, you may feel lonely because you miss having someone else's quiet presence. You may have an active social circle at work, or have plenty of friends and family, but you miss having someone to hang out with at home, whether a roommate, family member, or sweetheart. You wish for someone's presence nearby, just making a cup of tea or reading on a couch, to make you feel less alone.