Essential Reads

Courage in Relationships: Conquering Vulnerability and Fear

The core of relationship courage? Daring to tackle your communication fears.

A Performance Review... for Your Marriage?

Sometimes all it takes is a check-in.

6 Surprising Benefits of Self-Compassion

Science explains how treating yourself with kindness is the key to success.

Can You Really Change Your Personality? Research Says “Yes”

Your personality can shift and alter with conscious intent.

Recent Posts on Self-Help

The Being of Humans

By Tim Carey Ph.D. on October 09, 2015 In Control
Control is nothing more than the activity of making things be the way an individual wants them to be and keeping them that way until the individual decides they don’t need to be that way any more.

A Different CBT Approach To Eating Addiction

Do you believe your love for junk food, your dysfunctional childhood, or the stress in your life is at the root of your compulsive eating? Is so, you've fallen into the therapy trap. The cause is more fundamental yet simpler. Here's how to diagnose and treat the root, acting as your own therapist.

Quash Your Bad Habits by Knowing What Triggers Them

By Peter Bregman on October 08, 2015 How We Work
“One minute I was fine,” Jeff later told me at dinner, “And the next I was yelling.” He paused, thoughtfully, shaking his head, “I did not see that coming.”

What if You Were Perfect As You Are?

Where have you felt broken? Are you ready to change?

Why Do We Remember Certain Things, But Forget Others?

Much of learning takes place in the form of emotional learning.

Meet the Free Online Tool that Assesses Your Depression Risk

Today is National Depression Screening Day, which means you can take a free online test to determine if you have any early warning signs of depression.

Why “Bribing” Your Child With Treats Doesn’t Work

By Suzanne Gelb Ph.D., J.D. on October 08, 2015 All Grown Up
Do you offer your child a “reward” to get him or her to comply with a rule? “If you tidy you room, I’ll take you to the movies.” But this is not a reward — this is a bribe. And “bribery” is not an effective parenting technique. Learn why bribing does not work when it comes to gaining your child's cooperation and what does.

How to Stay at the Top of Your Game

Self care is important if you're going to be your best self, whether personally or professionally. Some quick ways to do it right now.

Courage in Relationships: Conquering Vulnerability and Fear

It’s a profound—and paradoxical—truth that courage isn’t really courage at all unless there’s some fear attached to it. Without a moment’s hesitation before taking on something felt as hazardous, the act would exemplify not so much courage as foolhardiness or mindless impulsivity. As Mark Twain put it: “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear—not absence of fear."

A Performance Review... for Your Marriage?

What's the secret to marital bliss? Maybe an occasional performance review.

How to Be More Conscious and Compassionate

Did you ever wonder how you can be more compassionate in your life? Often times compassion is linked to being having a sense of consciousness in your everyday life. If we were all more conscious and compassionate this world would be a better place. The article uses examples of compassionate leaders and offers suggestions on how to increase compassion.

Performing Under Pressure: Martian Style

What do you want to be wearing in a high pressure moment? It's a lot cheaper than a 16 million dollar NASA space suit.

Overcome Feeling Like a Fraud or Failure

Success often brings unexpected anxieties and feelings of being a fraud. When this happens, you may press for more accomplishments or accolades. But this only seems to perpetuate your anxieties. Despite what it seems, there is a way out of the seemingly unending self-doubt and self-criticism.

How to Stop Hating Your Body

Want to feel better about your body? Do this.

Do You Feel Like a Failure? 4 Things You Should Do

By Peg Streep on October 06, 2015 Tech Support
Taking a close look at why some people recover from failure, and others don't, and what you can do to help yourself.

Friend or Foe?

By Rick Hanson Ph.D. on October 05, 2015 Your Wise Brain
Being friendly can make you feel confident and happy, have a positive take on other people, and move toward the world instead of backing away from it.

Preventing Regret

What people tend to regret the most near the end of their lives is that they have not been more compassionate, loving, and supportive to those they love. A presage of this kind of regret comes with the untimely death of a loved one. The common self-doubt, even in relationships that were very close and loving, is something like: “Did she really know how much I loved her?”

5 Factors That Make You Feel Shame

The healthiest way to cope is to own up to shame and allow it to dissipate with time.

Not Going with the Flow

Discussion of the challenges inherent in having to acquire self-observing capacities for the late adolescent/young adult with bipolar disorder..

We Want to Accept Our Feelings, But How Do We Do It?

Focusing was developed through research into psychotherapy effectiveness. Eugene Gendlin found that those clients who were attending to their bodily felt experience in a caring, gentle way were making the most progress in psychotherapy. This article describes Focusing as a path of befriending our experience just as it is.

6 Surprising Benefits of Self-Compassion

Do you ever call yourself names or beat yourself up over the mistakes you make? If so, you might be missing out on the incredible benefits of self-compassion.

Can You Really Change Your Personality? Research Says “Yes”

Research shows that you can consciously "grow" and develop dimensions of your personality that have been dormant or blocked.

Get in Touch With Your Core Value

The rewards for staying true to your deepest values are great: Authenticity, conviction, long-term wellbeing. And the reminders for violating them are terrible: guilt, shame, anxiety, regret, feeling inadequate or unlovable.

How Gratitude Can Help Your Career

By Peter Bregman on October 01, 2015 How We Work
I was opening the mail (the real mail, the one delivered by an actual, live person) and between the bills and solicitations, was a single letter, addressed to me, in sloppy — but recognizable — handwriting. Recognizable because the handwriting was mine.

Living Life While Facing Death

By Nancy Berns Ph.D. on October 01, 2015 Freedom to Grieve
Daniel said his wife wanted to capture life and keep living even as she faced cancer. How can she still have fun even when telling her son she was dying?

Wayne Dyer, 1940-2015

By John A. Johnson Ph.D. on September 30, 2015 Cui Bono
Wayne Dyer's career as one of the most successful self-help authors and motivational speakers of all time came to an end last month at age 75, when he died of heart failure. Despite his success and accolades from millions, he has been accused of propagating New Age drivel. In this post I examine Dyer's life and discuss his contributions.

How to Practice Mindfulness – 5 Tips No One Has Told You

Mindfulness is a paradox. It’s the easiest thing in the world and the hardest thing in the world. But, you can cultivate your mindfulness. Here are 5 tips to find success with your mindfulness practice, whether you are new to mindfulness or someone who has been experiencing some hiccups in your practice.

7 Tips for Having Difficult Conversations

By Andrea Bonior Ph.D. on September 29, 2015 Friendship 2.0
The need to talk about something difficult can fill us with anxiety, whether at work or in our romantic, family, or friend relationships. Often we enter these conversations without being mindful of how to make them go the best they possibly can-- and we can make things far worse if we're not prepared. Here are important factors to consider when planning the interaction.

How Nature Restores our Sense of Balance

Getting back in touch with the natural world can restore our balance.

You, Me, and the Narcissist Next Door

By Peg Streep on September 29, 2015 Tech Support
The term "narcissist" gets tossed around with a fair amount of abandon. Who's a narcissist and who isn't? Well, the answer offered up by a new book might surprise you. Welcome to healthy and unhealthy narcissism....You're all included.