Self-Help Essential Reads

How Good Are You at Flirting?

Flirting isn't easy but some styles are more effective than others.

Anger Management Failures

Anger management fails for the same reason that diets don’t work.

Simple, Everyday Actions That Support Mental Health

Learn simple ways to support yourself and others for better mental health.

If You Want People To Listen, Stop Talking

By Peter Bregman on May 26, 2015 in How We Work
George had a different edge, which wasn’t immediately obvious to me because I was listening to what George said. His power was in what he didn’t say.

How to Be Empathetic

“All you ever wants to do is try to fix things.” “You just don't get it.” Judgments like these and countless others verbalized or thought in the context of interpersonal relationships point to one popular problem: the lack of empathy for the other. This blog provides nine guidelines for addressing this block to successful relationships.

Losing My Mindfulness: A Tale of Spilled Milk and Blue M&Ms

What I know to be true experientially is what scientific research now proves—that mindfulness meditation literally changes the brain. Take a brief thirty seconds and give it a try. Right here, right now.

Good Enough Sex vs. Perfect Individual Sex Performance

Sex does not equal intercourse and intercourse and orgasm is not a pass-fail sex test.

Finding Something to Like

There is an art to what you say to people when you are evaluating their work and the work leaves much to be desired. My view is that you don’t want to be dishonest, but at the same time you don’t want to crush a person’s spirit.

How to Be a Good Enough Mother

Good enough is as good as it gets when it comes to mothering—and it is as good as it needs to be.

Split Decisions

In When Parents Part, psychologist Penelope Leach provides sound practical advice to parents about managing changes that she claims may be good for one or both of them, but "will certainly be bad for their children." In making her case, Leach may not adequately assess differences due to social class, pre-separation experiences and the resilience of children.

Finding Meaning Through Mental Time Travel

Imagine returning to the home where you grew up, opening the door, and walking right back into your childhood or youth? What would you learn about yourself and your life story? How would you live your life differently today?

5 Ways to Heal a Broken Heart

How do you recover from one of the most painful life experiences?

Lessons From the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Do you live by the philosophy of Outside-In or Inside-Out? Love or hate the show, there’s some first rate psychological wisdom in it.

What Seinfeld Understood About Motivation and Psychology

By Jonathan Fader Ph.D. on April 20, 2015 in The New You
There aren’t many life lessons that haven’t been covered in Seinfeld: in the show’s nine year run it covered difficult parents, relationships, alternate-side parking, muffin tops, shower pressure, and the ethics of double dipping—to name a few. But Jerry Seinfeld, the real person, had another life lesson to offer off the air to one aspiring comic.

Why I Can't..... or Why Can't I?

Our beliefs and thoughts impact our lives more than any relationship.It would be wise to evaluate how we came to them and whether they truly serve us.

10 Tips to Change From Reactive to Proactive in Situations

All of us encounter experiences in life when we may be temporally overwhelmed by a negative emotion, be it anger, pressure, nervousness, despair, or confusion. In these situations, how we choose to “master the moment” can make the difference between proactive versus reactive, and confidence versus insecurity. Here are ten ways to be less reactive in difficult situations...

If You Judge People, You Have No Time To Love Them

By Allison Carmen on April 16, 2015 in The Gift of Maybe
"If You Judge People, You Have No Time To Love Them." Mother Teresa Our judgments interfere with many of our relationships. Often we get so consumed with everything our spouse, child, friend or co-worker is not doing right, that we often forget to see what is special and wonderful about them.

Expanding the Self

We should reciprocate the gift of our own lives..... To be focused narrowly - worrying excessively about our personal skills and accomplishments and about the public's regards of these - is to remain forever a child.

How to Stop Working All The Time

By Ron Friedman Ph.D. on April 08, 2015 in Glue
Most attempts at behavior change fail for the same reason—they’re too ambitious. Here are 3 concrete tips that make disconnecting from work a lot easier.

Don’t Worry About What to Say

There is almost always a hidden agenda in the use of communication techniques.

The Psychology of Spring Cleaning

By Jonathan Fader Ph.D. on April 03, 2015 in The New You
For many of us the onset of spring is a reminder to start our annual spring overhauls – decluttering, organizing, and cleaning. While spring cleaning has the obvious benefits of an organized closet, a sparkling counter top, and possibly more open spaces, more importantly, it has been associated with improved mood, decreased stress, and heightened creativity.

Can’t Kick a Bad Habit? You’re Probably Doing It Wrong

By Nir Eyal on April 03, 2015 in Automatic You
A technique to use identity change for behavior change.

The Ghost in the Machine

By Neel Burton M.D. on April 02, 2015 in Hide and Seek
What makes you who you are?

It's Time to Take the "Positive" Out of Positive Psychology

By Amie M. Gordon PhD on March 30, 2015 in Between You and Me
What is the prescription for optimal living? The burgeoning field of positive psychology appears to have many of the answers: We should be kind to others, forgiving of transgressions, gracious and compassionate in our daily lives, and optimistic about the future. Following this simple plan should keep us happy and healthy. It turns out the answer might not be so simple.

Getting to Yes with Yourself

By Aldo Civico Ph.D. on March 30, 2015 in Turning Point
In his latest book, William Ury, one of the world's best-known experts on negotiation, shows us how we can understand and influence ourselves first, before we engage in difficult conversations and negotiations with others--thus improving our chances for a successful agreement.

Unnaturally Good: The Plight of the Goody Two-Shoes

There’s authentic virtue, and then there’s a kind of chronic, not-quite-credible virtue that doesn’t—and can’t—reflect the individual’s true nature. Their righteous words and actions, though perceivable as virtuous, may not come from their heart but their head. And what they say may belie what they’re really thinking—may not, in essence, “capture” who they truly are.

Do You Feel Sexy on the Inside?

By Rick Miller LICSW on March 23, 2015 in Unwrapped
Expanding the ways in which we feel “sexy” is good for everyone (yup, except maybe for the beauty industry that sells just one way).

Book Review: Wisdom from the Couch

By Ryan Howes PhD, ABPP on March 22, 2015 in In Therapy
Dr. Jennifer Kunst shares the warmer, friendlier side of Kleinian psychology in this interview and book review.

High Tech Care for Heart Failure Patients: A Bathroom Scale

By Peter Edelstein M.D. on March 17, 2015 in Patient Power
Heart failure is a common and serious condition, and patients (and their families) suffer frequent ER visits and middle-of-the-night hospitalizations to treat sudden, terrifying bouts of severe shortness of breath or other symptoms. But there is a simple, low tech tool the heart failure patient can use to help reduce these emergency crises. A bathroom scale.

21 Things Clinical Perfectionists Do

By Alice Boyes Ph.D. on March 16, 2015 in In Practice
Perfectionism can be a healthy strategy for getting ahead. Clinical perfectionism, however, is a darker form that often impairs performance rather than improves it.