Self-Help Essential Reads

5 Ways to Heal a Broken Heart

How do you recover from one of the most painful life experiences?

Lessons From the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Do you live by the philosophy of Outside-In or Inside-Out? Love or hate the show, there’s some first rate psychological wisdom in it.

What Seinfeld Understood About Motivation and Psychology

By Jonathan Fader Ph.D. on April 20, 2015 in The New You
There aren’t many life lessons that haven’t been covered in Seinfeld: in the show’s nine year run it covered difficult parents, relationships, alternate-side parking, muffin tops, shower pressure, and the ethics of double dipping—to name a few. But Jerry Seinfeld, the real person, had another life lesson to offer off the air to one aspiring comic.

Why I Can't..... or Why Can't I?

Our beliefs and thoughts impact our lives more than any relationship.It would be wise to evaluate how we came to them and whether they truly serve us.

10 Tips to Change From Reactive to Proactive in Situations

All of us encounter experiences in life when we may be temporally overwhelmed by a negative emotion, be it anger, pressure, nervousness, despair, or confusion. In these situations, how we choose to “master the moment” can make the difference between proactive versus reactive, and confidence versus insecurity. Here are ten ways to be less reactive in difficult situations...

If You Judge People, You Have No Time To Love Them

By Allison Carmen on April 16, 2015 in The Gift of Maybe
"If You Judge People, You Have No Time To Love Them." Mother Teresa Our judgments interfere with many of our relationships. Often we get so consumed with everything our spouse, child, friend or co-worker is not doing right, that we often forget to see what is special and wonderful about them.

Expanding the Self

We should reciprocate the gift of our own lives..... To be focused narrowly - worrying excessively about our personal skills and accomplishments and about the public's regards of these - is to remain forever a child.

Outgrowing Jealousy

Obsessive thinking is inevitably inaccurate.

How to Stop Working All The Time

By Ron Friedman Ph.D. on April 08, 2015 in Glue
Most attempts at behavior change fail for the same reason—they’re too ambitious. Here are 3 concrete tips that make disconnecting from work a lot easier.

Don’t Worry About What to Say

There is almost always a hidden agenda in the use of communication techniques.

The Psychology of Spring Cleaning

By Jonathan Fader Ph.D. on April 03, 2015 in The New You
For many of us the onset of spring is a reminder to start our annual spring overhauls – decluttering, organizing, and cleaning. While spring cleaning has the obvious benefits of an organized closet, a sparkling counter top, and possibly more open spaces, more importantly, it has been associated with improved mood, decreased stress, and heightened creativity.

Can’t Kick a Bad Habit? You’re Probably Doing It Wrong

By Nir Eyal on April 03, 2015 in Automatic You
A technique to use identity change for behavior change.

The Ghost in the Machine

By Neel Burton M.D. on April 02, 2015 in Hide and Seek
What makes you who you are?

It's Time to Take the "Positive" Out of Positive Psychology

By Amie M. Gordon PhD on March 30, 2015 in Between You and Me
What is the prescription for optimal living? The burgeoning field of positive psychology appears to have many of the answers: We should be kind to others, forgiving of transgressions, gracious and compassionate in our daily lives, and optimistic about the future. Following this simple plan should keep us happy and healthy. It turns out the answer might not be so simple.

Getting to Yes with Yourself

By Aldo Civico Ph.D. on March 30, 2015 in Turning Point
In his latest book, William Ury, one of the world's best-known experts on negotiation, shows us how we can understand and influence ourselves first, before we engage in difficult conversations and negotiations with others--thus improving our chances for a successful agreement.

Unnaturally Good: The Plight of the Goody Two-Shoes

There’s authentic virtue, and then there’s a kind of chronic, not-quite-credible virtue that doesn’t—and can’t—reflect the individual’s true nature. Their righteous words and actions, though perceivable as virtuous, may not come from their heart but their head. And what they say may belie what they’re really thinking—may not, in essence, “capture” who they truly are.

Do You Feel Sexy on the Inside?

By Rick Miller LICSW on March 23, 2015 in Unwrapped
Expanding the ways in which we feel “sexy” is good for everyone (yup, except maybe for the beauty industry that sells just one way).

Book Review: Wisdom from the Couch

By Ryan Howes PhD, ABPP on March 22, 2015 in In Therapy
Dr. Jennifer Kunst shares the warmer, friendlier side of Kleinian psychology in this interview and book review.

High Tech Care for Heart Failure Patients: A Bathroom Scale

By Peter Edelstein M.D. on March 17, 2015 in Patient Power
Heart failure is a common and serious condition, and patients (and their families) suffer frequent ER visits and middle-of-the-night hospitalizations to treat sudden, terrifying bouts of severe shortness of breath or other symptoms. But there is a simple, low tech tool the heart failure patient can use to help reduce these emergency crises. A bathroom scale.

21 Things Clinical Perfectionists Do

By Alice Boyes Ph.D. on March 16, 2015 in In Practice
Perfectionism can be a healthy strategy for getting ahead. Clinical perfectionism, however, is a darker form that often impairs performance rather than improves it.

What's Wrong With Giving Advice

By Aldo Civico Ph.D. on March 13, 2015 in Turning Point
We might think that giving advice might be the best way to help someone who has a problem. But it might instead inhibit our interpersonal relations, and be very ineffective. Here is why.

Why Some People Are More Resilient Than Others

By Denise Cummins Ph.D. on March 11, 2015 in Good Thinking
Everyone suffers at least one negative life event. A recent study discovered two factors that characterize resilient people following negative or even traumatic life events.

How Much Is Too Much to Share on Social Media?

We often talk about the problem of “oversharing” on social media. But what’s the difference between sharing and oversharing? Where do we draw the line, and how does what we share on social media affect how other people see us? Here are 5 research-backed tips about what we should, and shouldn't, be sharing on Facebook.

The Surprising Upside of Guilt and Shame

By Guy Winch Ph.D. on March 07, 2015 in The Squeaky Wheel
Guilt and shame are extremely unpleasant emotions that can cause deep psychological wounds and impact our lives in significant ways--but might they also have an upside?

20 Expert Tactics for Dealing with Difficult People

You can't reason with an unreasonable person, but verbal de-escalation techniques can help. Learn how professionals handle the most difficult of situations.

How to Feel Better When You’re Feeling Bad

When you feel down, discouraged or frustrated, Buddhist concepts and techniques that focus you in the immediate present can offer surprising relief. Here's some starter key ideas, and info on an accessible and engaging guide that can help you to learn more.

Why We Hate It When People Invade Our Space

By Joe Navarro M.A. on February 27, 2015 in Spycatcher
Why exercising social intelligence matters and why it can dominate a news cycle

How to Talk to Yourself

By Toni Bernhard J.D. on February 23, 2015 in Turning Straw Into Gold
When the going gets rough, I often speak to myself silently or softly in a soothing and compassionate voice. If I feel let down by a friend, I might repeat silently, “I feel hurt by her behavior but I mustn’t blame myself.” When I don’t deny that I feel bad, and even acknowledge it in a self-compassionate way, I’m better able to cope with disappointment and sorrow.

8 Negative Attitudes of Chronically Unhappy People

All of us experience negative thoughts from time to time. How we manage our negative attitudes can make the difference between confidence versus fear, hope versus despair, mastery versus victimhood, and victory versus defeat. Here are eight negative attitudes of chronically unhappy people...

Pressure at the Academy Awards

By Hendrie Weisinger, Ph.D. on February 18, 2015 in Thicken Your Skin
Most people perform below their capability in a pressure moment.