Self-Help Essential Reads

20 Expert Tactics for Dealing with Difficult People

You can't reason with an unreasonable person, but verbal de-escalation techniques can help. Learn how professionals handle the most difficult of situations.

How to Feel Better When You’re Feeling Bad

When you feel down, discouraged or frustrated, Buddhist concepts and techniques can offer surprising relief. Here's some starter key ideas, and info on an accessible and engaging guide that can help you to learn more.

Why We Hate It When People Invade Our Space

By Joe Navarro M.A. on February 27, 2015 in Spycatcher
Why exercising social intelligence matters and why it can dominate a news cycle

How to Talk to Yourself

By Toni Bernhard J.D. on February 23, 2015 in Turning Straw Into Gold
When the going gets rough, I often speak to myself silently or softly in a soothing and compassionate voice. If I feel let down by a friend, I might repeat silently, “I feel hurt by her behavior but I mustn’t blame myself.” When I don’t deny that I feel bad, and even acknowledge it in a self-compassionate way, I’m better able to cope with disappointment and sorrow.

8 Negative Attitudes of Chronically Unhappy People

All of us experience negative thoughts from time to time. How we manage our negative attitudes can make the difference between confidence versus fear, hope versus despair, mastery versus victimhood, and victory versus defeat. Here are eight negative attitudes of chronically unhappy people...

Pressure at the Academy Awards

By Hendrie Weisinger on February 18, 2015 in Thicken Your Skin
Most people perform below their capability in a pressure moment.

Are Your Boundaries Making You Miserable?

By Leon F Seltzer Ph.D. on February 12, 2015 in Evolution of the Self
Sure, you need boundaries. And undeniably, you have the right to assert them—whether to safeguard your privacy, self-respect, or basic sense of decency. So it’s crucial to develop the ability and self-confidence to say no, or to tell others to stop doing what they’re doing. But what also needs to be emphasized is that some of your boundaries may be holding you hostage. . .

Why You Might Find It Harder to Make New Friends

By Denise Cummins Ph.D. on February 09, 2015 in Good Thinking
Every seven years we lose about half of our close network of friends and replace them with others. Here's how it's done.

Mixed Messages in Your Family? A Quiz You Can Take

By David M. Allen M.D. on February 09, 2015 in A Matter of Personality
A highly prevalent feature in families that produce an offspring with a significant personality disorder is parents who give their children mixed, contradictory messages about how to behave in certain social circumstances. To see how your family stacks up against other families and to find out what issues your family has, I herein provide a self-administered quiz for you.

Study: This May Be the Best Way to Keep Couples Together

By Gwendolyn Seidman Ph.D. on February 09, 2015 in Close Encounters
New research found that an intervention in which couples watched and discussed 5 romantically-themed movies together put them at significantly lower risk of divorce, on par with the effectiveness of well-known therapeutic interventions.

You Can't Be Mad At Your Mind!

By Elizabeth R Thornton on February 03, 2015 in The Objective Leader
You can't be mad at your mind!

The Upside of Envy

Envy is the universal emotion no one seems to have. We're all too ashamed of it to discuss it with others and sometimes even to admit it to ourselves. Blogger Josh Gressel takes the plunge and describes an incident of his own envy as a way to practice what he wants to teach: that we need to get more comfortable with our envy so that we can learn from it.

Are You Too Busy to Be Yourself?

Are we so busy being busy that we've forgotten to be ourselves. One man found the answer.

Shame and Motivation to Change

By Lisa Rivero M.A. on January 29, 2015 in Creative Synthesis
We know the feeling only too well: Our pulse quickens. Our faces flush. The feeling is so bad that we want to escape at all costs. But is shame always bad?

6 Ways to Recreate, Not Just Salvage, Your Relationship

In my previous post, I emphasized that merely "salvaging" a relationship can’t lead to meaningful, long-lasting couples’ change. The main problem with such rescuing is that it focuses mostly on reducing the negatives between the two beleaguered partners. What’s really needed is for them to identify—and effectively address—the deeper dynamics of their relational distress.

Are 36 Questions All It Takes to Fall in Love?

When love follows a 36-question exercise, people pay attention. But is this method a reliable one for transitioning strangers into long-term romantic partners?

Don't Take Your Medications as Prescribed? You’re Not Alone

By Peter Edelstein M.D. on January 24, 2015 in Patient Power
Are you one of the millions who fails to take your prescription medications as directed, or at all? Have you ever not even filled a prescription? Why do so many of us fail to take medications prescribed to help us remain healthy? Here are some common reasons for non-compliance, and some advice for Shark Surfers, Credit Carders, and Different Drummers.

2 Essential Habits for Your Health and Happiness

By Meg Selig on January 23, 2015 in Changepower
Want to change your life for the better? Start with one of these two "keystone habits," and you'll spark a blaze of beautiful benefits.

Is Addiction a Disease?

By Joseph A Shrand M.D. on January 23, 2015 in Manage Your Stress
Even addicts are doing the best they can.

Research Confirms That Men Are, In Fact, Idiots

By Douglas LaBier Ph.D. on January 21, 2015 in The New Resilience
An investigation of winners of the Darwin Award, which highlights extreme, foolish risk-taking behavior, compared the frequency of "winners" who are male vs. female. The study found a statistically significant greater number of men than women among the winners. Researchers say the findings confirm "Male Idiot Theory."

10 Psychological Strengths, Including the Most Valuable 2

By Todd B Kashdan Ph.D. on January 21, 2015 in Curious?
What if we put 10 psychological characteristics that have been previously linked to well-being in direct competition? which would win? Check out this "in press" research study that has yet to be released to the public

Four Steps to a Calmer, Confident, Creative, Capable You

By Bill Knaus Ed.D. on January 20, 2015 in Science and Sensibility
Try a new way to feel serene, procrastinate less, and enjoy life more.

The Most Important Lesson You'll Ever Learn

By Marty Nemko Ph.D. on January 20, 2015 in How To Do Life
The danger of looking back, the power of looking forward.

Healing the Shame of Childhood Abuse Through Self-Compassion

Shame can be the most damaging effect of child abuse--compassion is its anecdote.

Everyday Bipolar Disorder and Order

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on January 15, 2015 in Ambigamy
We're all a little bipolar, motivated in opposite directions. Healthier, more trustworthy people own their ambivalences. Here are some tips on how to do it.

Good, Neutral, and Bad Selfishness

By John A. Johnson Ph.D. on January 15, 2015 in Cui Bono
Most of us have been taught from an early age that placing our own needs before the needs of others is wrong. Such behavior is discouraged with the disparaging label, "selfish." At the same time, self-help experts tell us that "self-care" is essential to our well-being. So, how do we tell the difference between "bad" selfishness and healthy self-care?

10 Tips for Reducing Anger

By Steven Laurent on January 15, 2015 in Chill Pill
I think some readers may take exception to tip no. 4. And many will struggle with no. 7 (myself included); but it's no reason not to strive for it...

Don’t Let Your Anger “Mature” Into Bitterness

All bitterness starts out as hurt. And your emotional pain may well relate to viewing whomever, or whatever, provoked this hurt as having malicious intent: as committing a grave injustice toward you, as gratuitously wronging you and causing you grief. For righteous anger is what we’re all likely to experience whenever we conclude that another has seriously abused us.

How Can You Tell When You Should Just Be Friends?

How do you know whether you two should be friends or something more? Recognizing the signs of pure friendship versus long-term romantic potential can help.

Making Space for Grieving

By Sherry Hamby Ph.D. on January 12, 2015 in The Web of Violence
Thoughts about how to create some time and space for grieving after the loss of a loved one.