Essential Reads

6 Surprising Benefits of Self-Compassion

Science explains how treating yourself with kindness is the key to success.

Can You Really Change Your Personality? Research Says “Yes”

Your personality can shift and alter with conscious intent.

How Gratitude Can Help Your Career

Your path to improvement is hidden in your pleasure, not your discontent.

Wayne Dyer, 1940-2015

Did best-selling self-help author Wayne Dyer sell snake oil or good advice?

Recent Posts on Self-Help

We Want to Accept Our Feelings, But How Do We Do It?

Focusing was developed through research into psychotherapy effectiveness. Eugene Gendlin found that those clients who were attending to their bodily felt experience in a caring, gentle way were making the most progress in psychotherapy. This article describes Focusing as a path of befriending our experience just as it is.

6 Surprising Benefits of Self-Compassion

Do you ever call yourself names or beat yourself up over the mistakes you make? If so, you might be missing out on the incredible benefits of self-compassion.

Can You Really Change Your Personality? Research Says “Yes”

Research shows that you can consciously "grow" and develop dimensions of your personality that have been dormant or blocked.

Get in Touch With Your Core Value

The rewards for staying true to your deepest values are great: Authenticity, conviction, long-term wellbeing. And the reminders for violating them are terrible: guilt, shame, anxiety, regret, feeling inadequate or unlovable.

How Gratitude Can Help Your Career

By Peter Bregman on October 01, 2015 How We Work
I was opening the mail (the real mail, the one delivered by an actual, live person) and between the bills and solicitations, was a single letter, addressed to me, in sloppy — but recognizable — handwriting. Recognizable because the handwriting was mine.

Living Life While Facing Death

By Nancy Berns Ph.D. on October 01, 2015 Freedom to Grieve
Daniel said his wife wanted to capture life and keep living even as she faced cancer. How can she still have fun even when telling her son she was dying?

Wayne Dyer, 1940-2015

By John A. Johnson Ph.D. on September 30, 2015 Cui Bono
Wayne Dyer's career as one of the most successful self-help authors and motivational speakers of all time came to an end last month at age 75, when he died of heart failure. Despite his success and accolades from millions, he has been accused of propagating New Age drivel. In this post I examine Dyer's life and discuss his contributions.

How to Practice Mindfulness – 5 Tips No One Has Told You

Mindfulness is a paradox. It’s the easiest thing in the world and the hardest thing in the world. But, you can cultivate your mindfulness. Here are 5 tips to find success with your mindfulness practice, whether you are new to mindfulness or someone who has been experiencing some hiccups in your practice.

7 Tips for Having Difficult Conversations

By Andrea Bonior Ph.D. on September 29, 2015 Friendship 2.0
The need to talk about something difficult can fill us with anxiety, whether at work or in our romantic, family, or friend relationships. Often we enter these conversations without being mindful of how to make them go the best they possibly can-- and we can make things far worse if we're not prepared. Here are important factors to consider when planning the interaction.

How Nature Restores our Sense of Balance

Getting back in touch with the natural world can restore our balance.

You, Me, and the Narcissist Next Door

By Peg Streep on September 29, 2015 Tech Support
The term "narcissist" gets tossed around with a fair amount of abandon. Who's a narcissist and who isn't? Well, the answer offered up by a new book might surprise you. Welcome to healthy and unhealthy narcissism....You're all included.

Why “Cheer Up” is Not the Nicest Thing to Say

When trying to comfort someone going through difficult times, we must consider numerous details to decide how to best help them. If we choose the wrong social support tactic, our attempts to help can have the opposite effect.

Dealing With Anger on the Job

Keeping your cool and letting things go may be essential on the job

Not Just One Way to Get Sober!

There are many views and opinions about what is needed for alcoholics to maintain long-term sobriety/recovery. There are therapeutic coping skills, medical model, evidence-based research, 12-Step model, SMART Recovery, Celebrate Recovery, alternative treatments, spiritual/religious perspectives and more…

How Aquaman Rules The Shark Tank

Some skills that will prevent you from sinking.

From Should to Could to Wow! Living Your Best Life

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on September 29, 2015 Living Single
In his review of "How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century" in the Los Angeles Review of Books, Hugh Ryan told me what I've been doing with my life the last two decades.

Whither the Weathering of Wuthering Weather

By Mark Borigini M.D. on September 28, 2015 Overcoming Pain
Autumn has begun, the days are shorter, the leaves taking a more prominent place outside the front door. The thought of winter’s approach crosses the mind; and for some of us, the specter of more musculoskeletal pain begins its yearly haunting. But should we believe in the ghosts of chronic pain?

Know Thyself: How to Develop Self-Awareness

By Bill George on September 28, 2015 What Is Your True North?
Self-awareness can change your life. Here are three ways to develop it further.

Famous Replacement Children

By Abigail Brenner M.D. on September 28, 2015 In Flux
The replacement child is the product of many factors including unresolved parental grief, survivor guilt, and the search for an identity of their own apart from a deceased sibling. However, their special gifts and talents may set famous replacement children apart, helping them to creatively forge their own unique identity.

Do You Care?

By Rick Hanson Ph.D. on September 28, 2015 Your Wise Brain
Compassion is natural. You don't have to force it — moments of compassion come in the flow of life. Try to be open to compassion — including all beings, omitting none.

Whatever Happened to Assertiveness Training?

Getting mellow and relaxed in response to stress can be a good thing, but it can also lead to staying in a bad situation that might otherwise be fixed, particularly in dysfunctional families. Cognitive behavior therapists used to counsel their patients on how to speak up for themselves, but seem to have forgotten the "assertiveness" techniques they used to champion.

The 6 Mental Health Habits That Kill Your Confidence

Do you struggle with self-doubt and self-defeating habits? Do you want to feel more confident about yourself and what you have to offer? Do you focus on pleasing others, rather than following your dreams and living your best life? The best way to start feeling better about yourself is to notice the automatic mental and emotional habits that don’t serve you well.

Why Control Won’t Bring You Happiness

By Emily T. Troscianko on September 28, 2015 A Hunger Artist
The process of successful recovery can be split into three phases: deciding and beginning to eat more and get better; continuing to eat more and get better physically and psychologically; and allowing recovery to flow into the life beyond it. Each bears a distinct relationship to the idea of control.

6 Ways to Tell if You’re Dating a Narcissist

While narcissists can be attractive, entertaining, sharp, and funny to watch from a distance, you don’t want to date or marry one. If you are already entangled with one, you may be reeling with confusion, self-doubt, and damaged self-esteem. Unfortunately, the chances of hooking up with a narcissist at some time in your dating or relationship life are pretty strong.

How to Plan for the Future without Missing Out on Today

The truth is we really don’t know if we’re going to wake up tomorrow morning, so it’s important each day to make sure there are special things throughout our day, today, that make it a beautiful.

Can You Say No To Requests?

People-pleasing has its up-sides. Generosity tends to uplift the giver as well as the receiver. Yet for the times when you really do not want to do something that someone has requested of you, here's a gracious way to say a clear no.

The Absolutely Vital Importance of Listening

Do you want to love (and be loved) more deeply? Become a better listener!

Could You Change Your Life Without Changing a Thing?

Open your life to a new technique that can allow you to be better every day without altering the course of your day in any way.

Can Headlines Change the Way You Think About Trust?

What impact do headlines have in influencing trust levels? How are you affected by what you read or hear? Does it impact who you trust or who you don't? Or how you see or interact with the people around you?

Where Did I Put It?

By Temma Ehrenfeld on September 25, 2015 Open Gently
When we can't find a lost item, often it's exactly where it's supposed to be.