Essential Reads

20 Questions to Ask This Holiday Season

How to foster more connection at the dinner table

What’s the Best Way to React to an Insult?

When derogatory comments are directed to you, here’s how to respond

Could New Facebook Features Help You Get Over Your Ex?

Features that let you see less of your ex may help you heal after a break-up.

Jane Austen Understood Deception and Discovery in Love

Thoughts on ambiguity in dating and mating

Recent Posts on Relationships

5 Resolutions for Enhancing Intimate Relationships

Finding true love is seldom easy, but maintaining it for the long-term can be challenging, too. Here are 5 resolutions that may up your odds in keeping the romance alive.

"Mail Order Brides" Still Exist

The mail order bride business as it now operates may be in the perverse position of attempting to match independent, nontraditional women with very traditional Western men, a situation which frequently leads to dissatisfaction for both parties.

20 Questions to Ask This Holiday Season

Our friends and family know what to expect when they come to our house for a meal: Jeffersonian conversations. Thomas Jefferson seated all his guests at one table for dinner, where he asked each guest a single question for all to hear…no side conversations or small-talk allowed. Sounds rigid, but these sorts of dinners are FUN over the holidays.

Beware the Charming Narcissist

Puzzled about a relationship that started well, captured your heart but now seems to be going nowhere? Maybe you are involved with a charming narcissist.

4 Steps to Prevent a Bad Divorce

By Wendy Paris on November 24, 2015 Splitopia
While we've all heard horror stories of expensive, nasty divorces, there are steps we can take to help ensure our own break-up does not follow that model.

6 Ways to Maintain Sanity During Family Holiday Drama

By Andrea Bonior Ph.D. on November 24, 2015 Friendship 2.0
The holidays are upon us—and every year, family tensions can cause more indigestion than that lumpy gravy. Here are six concrete steps to take in preparation for holiday drama, to help you banish stress and increase your enjoyment of the day.

What’s the Best Way to React to an Insult?

Insults live at the bottom of the scale of socially appropriate behavior. Because our first tendency is to be polite, especially with people we don’t know very well, it’s not always clear whether to respond in kind or turn the other cheek. Here’s some guidance for how to handle these confusing situations.

Releasing the Barriers to Love: An Interview with Tara Brach

By Mark Matousek on November 24, 2015 Ethical Wisdom
What is the role of radical acceptance in intimate relationships? Why is spaciousness necessary for deep connection? Is it possible to be committed without attachment? How can we set our beloved free without losing trust?

What Do Others Give You?

By Rick Hanson Ph.D. on November 24, 2015 Your Wise Brain
Say Thanks - it's a small moment with big ripples: a confirmation of a wonderful truth - that we are all joined in a web of innumerable acts of giving.

The Passions of Peter Muller: Math and Music

By Michael Friedman Ph.D. on November 24, 2015 Brick by Brick
Peter Muller explains the importance of following our passions.

Cooking Up More Gratitude This Thanksgiving

By Jaime L. Kurtz Ph.D. on November 24, 2015 Happy Trails
Feeling grateful isn't always easy.

Could New Facebook Features Help You Get Over Your Ex?

Facebook may soon be helping you manage your relationship with your ex by allowing you to limit how much of them you see in your news feed without unfriending or blocking them. Research on coping with break-ups suggests that Facebook has the right idea about how to deal with your ex.

Loneliness: Perceived Social Isolation Is Public Enemy No. 1

For the first time, a new study has identified how "perceived social isolation" triggers fight-or-flight stress responses that can lead to illness and premature death.

I’m Getting Married, Should I Change My Name?

What to consider if you’re uncertain about marital name change. This choice can have many different meanings.

Jane Austen Understood Deception and Discovery in Love

Jane Austen knew a secret or two about the problems with ambiguity in romance and love. Her most beloved novels hinge on a female character's misunderstandings on which man is the best for her, until time and circumstances reveal the truth.

Child Rearing: Boundaries and Love

At a certain point during breastfeeding, it is natural for the baby to bite the breast. This is one of many important avenues for mother and baby to negotiate their boundaries—between self and other. All of child rearing revolves around boundaries and love.

5 Things They Don't Tell You About Grief

Worried you aren't grieving the "right" way? There are some parts of the grief process that people don't like to talk about.

We Need a National Anti-Loneliness Campaign for the Holidays

By Guy Winch Ph.D. on November 23, 2015 The Squeaky Wheel
The holidays can be an acutely lonely period for millions of people. Here's what you can do about it:

Happy Holidays—Or Else!

Being haunted by the idea that other people are “better” at holiday celebrations than we are can drive us to “fix” our own family’s time together. But this preoccupation with “getting it right” can become an emotional wedge between ourselves and those we’re trying to please.

An Evolutionist’s List of Thanks

From an evolutionary perspective, gratitude is a significant social emotion. It drives us to connect with others - and it works to remind us of the fact that we are always part of something larger than ourselves. Here is a list of 6 things to be grateful for this Thanksgiving (and all other days of the year as well).

Can't I Just Say "I'm Sorry" and We Can Move On?

The question is not if we will hurt others, because we all will. The question is what we should do when it happens.

Will Your Child Be Part of the Collateral Damage of Divorce?

Rather than looking at the negative consequences of divorce as fixed, we need to examine the origins of the problem – the so-called pathogenesis – to recognize that these consequences are the results of symptoms acquired over the course of a child’s lifetime.

My Husband Is an Ineffective Father

"I can't take it anymore. I want to walk away."

The Dirty Little (Sex) Secret of Therapy

By Marty Klein PhD on November 22, 2015 Sexual Intelligence
Patients should be safe assuming that therapists understand sex as it actually is, don't believe discredited myths, and can discuss anything.

Being Your Own Therapist

Being a good therapist to yourself means balancing tough love and soft love, brutal honesty with careful consideration.

You Said You Love Me; So Why Do You Yell At Me?

Do intimate partners really just blow up at each other "out of the blue"? Read on to learn what really causes loving partners to "lose control" of their emotions.

Beauty and Fear: Thanksgiving From a Different Perspective

The act of giving can be enhanced when you give from a cup that runneth over, from knowing the true nature of inner beauty. Looking at Thanksgiving from a different perspective.

7 Tips to Create Healthy Boundaries with Others

By Abigail Brenner M.D. on November 21, 2015 In Flux
Healthy boundaries help you form and maintain healthy relationships. Knowing what you need, what personal space is yours helps to to prevent unwanted overtures and violations of what you consider personally sacred.

Lessons From the Paris Attacks

In the words of the next door neighbor of the ax-murderer, “But he . . . (say it with me) seemed like such a nice guy!” Why did she have that impression? Because her neighbor, whom she knew nothing about, had become familiar.

3 Things to Do When You're Not Sure About Your Relationship

Ambivalence is common in long-term relationships because it’s easy to drift apart over the years, but you stay because leaving is too complicated. And yet ambivalence is a stressful place to park. Is your marriage really worth saving? Here are some reasons to set yourself free from indecision and tips for moving toward a more peaceful, fulfilling existence.