Essential Reads

What Not to Say to a Depressed Person

Depression isn’t just a matter of moral weakness or willpower

Why We're So Hung Up About Facebook Stalking

And is it really stalking after all?

What Is Transgender? A Beautiful Short Film With an Answer

The short film "Dylan" explores gender, transformation, and self.

Recent Posts on Relationships

Erotomania Haunts Female Tennis Stars

Erotomania may mean the fixed false idea that someone is in love with you, and that she is prevented from declaring her love. This could be dismissed as a relatively harmless though annoying belief, except for the fact that erotomaniacs can turn vengefully upon the love object after perceiving themselves as rejected.

Should Couples Share Their Sexual Fantasies?

By Michael Castleman M.A. on July 02, 2015 in All About Sex
Sexual fantasies excite the imagination—and sometimes are better left there.

5 Phrases Mentally Strong People Don't Say

If you find yourself saying any of these phrases, consider it a warning sign that you could be making a bad decision.

The Family Values of Penelope Spheeris and Anna Fox

By Michael Friedman Ph.D. on July 02, 2015 in Brick by Brick
Penelope Spheeris and her daughter, Anna Fox, share how The Decline of Western Civilization movies have impacted their lives.

The Wisdom Mind of Love

It is worth stopping regularly for a period of reflection, to reconcile our 'everyday' mind with our 'wisdom' mind, to avoid the build-up of painful and destructive emotions like anxiety, anger, sadness, hate and greed.

"Love Hormone" Oxytocin Linked to Domestic Violence

Oxytocin, which leads to trust and attachment, may also lead to possessive and abusive behaviours.

Gay Marriage Ruling: Maybe We Can All Breath More Easily

Gay Marriage Ruling: Maybe We Can All Breath a Little More Easily. Acceptance and inclusion makes us all feel better. By David Braucher, L.C.S.W., Ph.D.

Bouncing Back From Getting Dumped in 3 Easy Steps

It’s normal to need to re-validate your potential as a lover and a partner, but remember that every relationship is not meant to last forever and that every new relationship is a new beginning that does not have to yield to the self-same ending.

What Not to Say to a Depressed Person

By Jean Kim M.D. on July 01, 2015 in Culture Shrink
What isn’t helpful and remains a huge hurdle for the lay public to understand about depression is that it isn’t just a matter of moral failure or weakness or lack of willpower. The following comments are worth avoiding when talking to people you know going through a depressive episode:

3 Myths About Romantic Relationships You Probably Believe

By Peg Streep on July 01, 2015 in Tech Support
When we think about relationships, sometimes our thinking is just plain wrong or uninformed, thanks to the brain... Really,

Why We're So Hung Up About Facebook Stalking

By Lisa A. Phillips on July 01, 2015 in Unrequited
Your best friend tells you to “stop stalking” your ex on Facebook. You’ve probably told yourself the same thing. Even if what you're doing isn't "real" stalking, it's still not a good idea.

What Is Transgender? A Beautiful Short Film With an Answer

By Mark O'Connell L.C.S.W. on July 01, 2015 in Quite Queerly
Dylan is a short film written and directed by Elizabeth Rohrbaugh, and is based on a interview done with Dylan Winn Garner. The film follows a young trans man as he explains his story, his exploration in the trans community, his family's acceptance of his identity, and ultimately his physical and emotional transformation.

The Causes of Infidelity: Players Gonna Play?

By Noam Shpancer Ph.D. on July 01, 2015 in Insight Therapy
At some point in their lives most Americans enter a monogamous intimate relationship. Over time, up to half will stray. Why?

Self/Other-Help

As we are developing the irrelationship theory, model, and recovery process, we see it as our most primary of tasks to be inclusive of the experience of our readers, clients and colleagues. We are committed to building this model in a way that is in synch with our recover model: in a collaborative reciprocity with those for whom these ideas are resonating.

Safeguarding Against Infidelity

By Stan Tatkin Psy.D. on June 30, 2015 in The Puzzle of Love
Research reporting that financially dependency increases a man’s chances of cheating on his wife may fail to take into account the mitigating factor of secure functioning.

Do Boys Need Rough and Tumble Play?

Why do boys wrestle and play pretend fighting? Do all boys do this? Should we view it as violence or innocent fun?

Garner, Affleck, Marital Therapy, and Divorce

The tabloids exploded with curiosity and innuendo of terrible trouble once Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner were discovered going to a marital therapist. Now with a pending divorce, people’s worst fears are confirmed. Apparently if your spouse suggests therapy, it is a last ditch effort or a way to tell you it’s over. So teaches Hollywood. But is it?

5 "Flaws" That Make You More Lovable

By Juliana Breines Ph.D. on June 30, 2015 in In Love and War
You may think that people love you despite your flaws, not because of them. But some of the traits that you see as flaws may be more attractive than you realize.

Siblings Are the Awesomest: Children Talk About Siblings

I figured if Piaget was able to develop entire theories and write countless books on cognitive development based on observations of his own children, I can at least write one article using the perspectives of my own offspring.

4 Steps to Leave a Narcissist

By Judith Orloff M.D. on June 30, 2015 in Emotional Freedom
On the surface narcissists can seem charming, intelligent, caring—knowing how to entice and lure their way back into your life. But once they reel you back then they revert to their egotistical selves.

Why Good Looks Don't Guarantee a Great Relationship

By Mark Travers Ph.D. on June 30, 2015 in The Sports Mind
New research finds that attractiveness does little to guarantee a healthy relationship.

The SCOTUS Ruling on Marriage Equality is Good for Everyone

By Mark O'Connell L.C.S.W. on June 30, 2015 in Quite Queerly
The language of American law--e.g., “Marriage is a commitment between one man and one woman.”--is sometimes in need of a hermeneutic update in order to truly do its job: to protect us all. In much the same way it is often necessary to use anomalous language in a variety of disciplines--medicine, psychology, religion--as we live, learn, and evolve.

Paying it Forward

Imagine someone does something nice for you. You then see someone else that needs help. Are you more likely to help that person? What if you were mistreated by someone, are you more likely to then mistreat a person unrelated to the situation?

What Is Wrong With Dichotomous Thinking

It is said that there are two kinds of people, those who think there are two kinds of people and those who don't. Please discuss.

My Daughter Is Going To College And I Am Terrified

How To Handle Anxiety About College

Why Do We Misjudge Others

When we interact with a new person, our judgments are colored by our own past experiences, projections, and expectations.

Do This One Thing If You Want To Heal Faster From Divorce

How is it that being with others in the same boat can help so much?

The Compassionate Way to End a Relationship

Ending a relationship involves pain for both partners, regardless of who initiates the breakup. Although the well-known song proclaims there are 50 ways to leave your lover, the literature identifies 47. People high in compassionate love will be the most likely to use the least painful of these breakup strategies.