Essential Reads

Apocalypse Again: Why Can't We Get Enough?

Unpacking why we love the threat of disaster

How Facebook Affects Our Relationships

Whether Facebook helps or harms your relationship depends on how you use it.

Infatuation, Temptation? How To Think Less About That Person

Telling yourself to stop may not be enough.

How Evolutionary Psychology Illuminates Everyday Life

10 Cliches that all have an evolutionary basis

Recent Posts on Relationships

Why We Love To See Conspiracies

By Temma Ehrenfeld on May 28, 2015 in Open Gently
People who believe in conspiracies may hold contradictory ideas about the same event.

After a Decade of Dating, I Found A Keeper

By Temma Ehrenfeld on May 28, 2015 in Open Gently
The most important clue is how you fight.

Rebound Love: 10 Tips for Healing a Heart After a Breakup

Rebound love may be just what you need.

Haven’t We Met Before?

They are sane and rational beings, who reveal their stories with understandable discomfort. But, once they know that I am open and receptive, they share them with evident relief and passionate explanations. They are so glad to find someone who does not think they are crazy.

When Your Dog Dies

We all suffer losses, but the death of the family dog is clearly one of the most painful we endure. Our attachment to our canine friends trumps many of our human relationships. It's not that people are less valuable or meaningful to us, but where else do we find such unconditional love, loyalty, happiness in the simplest of pleasures and rarely a complaint?

Why Do We Choose Unsuitable Partners?

By Sheila Kohler on May 28, 2015 in Dreaming for Freud
Having lost a father when we were very young ( I was seven and my sister nine) my sister and I may have felt that men were fragile, that they might easily desert us, disappear, leave not a rack behind. Perhaps we feared that without our help, without us to prop them up, bolster their self-esteem, keep them safe, they would crumble into dust.

No One Wants a Secret Admirer

A closed mouth gathers no foot. It also gathers no friends. People want verbal affirmation of their attributes and accomplishments, not secret admirers. Regardless of how far up the food chain someone has managed to climb, everyone wants to be assured of their value and worth.

3 Steps to Get Any Relationship Back on Track

Expert advice on how to repair or strengthen any relationship

Apocalypse Again: Why Can't We Get Enough?

Why do we love the idea of our own demise?

Can You Grow From the Loss of Love?

The painful experience of a lost love relationship can spur positive emotional growth, depending on how you deal with its impact.

Couples Therapy with Motor Sister's Pearl Aday and Scott Ian

Pearl Aday of the band Pearl and daughter of legendary rocker Meat Loaf, and Scott Ian of Anthrax share how they are able to work together, defy stereotypes and make their marriage work. Their secret: appreciating one another, communicating and working to resolve problems.

How Addiction Makes Strangers of Those We Love

Addiction can turn those we are closest to into people we don’t recognize – people who lie, steal, manipulate and who appear to value their drug of choice much more than they value us. As we watch in anguish as they turn their backs on all that once had meaning for them, we find ourselves asking, “Why don’t they care?”

How Facebook Affects Our Relationships

Facebook has influenced the way couples interact with and feel about each other and their relationships. But, you may wonder if that change is for better or worse. So let’s examine the ups and downs of having a relationship in the age of Facebook.

How to Talk to a Single Person

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on May 27, 2015 in Living Single
Some people seem to have a hard time conversing with single people. All they can think of to ask is whether the single person is seeing someone. Even worse, researchers can be just as flummoxed. A survey claiming to be "the most comprehensive" about single life asked only about 1 question of 128 that was not about becoming unsingle. Here's how to talk to a single person.

Play, Primates, Jealousy, Work, and Losing Deliberately

By Peter Toohey on May 27, 2015 in Annals of the Emotions
Gorillas like to play games and when they do, they sometimes lose deliberately. Why? “Self-handicapping” encourages their playmate to keep on with the game. Jealousy can be very like play—there are triangles, winners and losers, and feelings run high. This is very true of workplace jealousy. Does self-handicapping have a role to play in mitigating workplace jealousy?

Infatuation, Temptation? How To Think Less About That Person

By Ira Hyman Ph.D. on May 27, 2015 in Mental Mishaps
You meet someone new and attractive. Temptation strikes. Perhaps you’re a little infatuated. The eye looks and the mind wanders. You find your thoughts keep returning to the encounter and the possibility for romance, sex, or a relationship. But if you’re already in a committed and happy relationship, you may not want those thoughts. How can you stop those thoughts?

Return of the King—LeBron James, That Is

LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers' sweep of the Atlanta Hawks last night to capture the Eastern Conference title and earn themselves a trip to the NBA Championship Series is—certainly for Cavs fans—cause for considerable celebration. And what a vindication! . . .

Infidelity and the New Psychology of Shame

By Guy Winch Ph.D. on May 27, 2015 in The Squeaky Wheel
How would you respond if a friend or loved one decided to stay with a partner who had cheated?

How Evolutionary Psychology Illuminates Everyday Life

Evolutionary psychology has become famous as a powerful framework for understanding even the most mundane aspects of life. Read further to see how the evolutionary perspective provides insights into 10 common cliches.

How Good Are You at Flirting?

Flirting isn't easy but some styles are more effective than others.

Are You a Jerk or a Pushover?

Research shows we're really bad at identifying how other people perceive us.

Watching a Play about Anorexia

By Emily T. Troscianko on May 27, 2015 in A Hunger Artist
The benefits and dangers of creating art out of illness.

GRAFTS: Variations on Our Irrelationship Song-and-Dance

Our specific song-and-dance routines—ways that we reverse caretaking role with our key caregiver(s)—become the basic blueprint the pattern of interaction we will develop to care for our key caregiver. These patterns can be called GRAFTS and the acronym describes—in a very basic broad stroke—some of the habits that can become part of our caregiving conditioning.

Facing Our Two-Facedness

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on May 26, 2015 in Ambigamy
We all want opposite things. Life goes better and gets more interesting when you admit that you do, too.

Come Here-Go Away; the Dynamics of Fearful Attachment

Adults “fearful” attachment styles feel lonely and want closeness in relationships; at the same time, they are avoid close relationships because of possible rejection or emotional injury. Learn how understanding this style can free you of the tyranny of your emotions so that you can live with intent. You can also learn to love and help your loved ones with this style.

Aging-in-Place May Be a Fountain of Youth Secret

One of the benefits of aging-in-place is good neighborhood gossip -- a reason to stay alive and well is so that you don’t miss out on the next installment.

The Four R's - Reading, 'Riting, "Rithmatic and Resonance

By Amy Banks on May 26, 2015 in Wired For Love
Connection and cooperation are part of the everyday lives of most people and a strong mirror neuron system is essential in each and every one of life’s negotiations. It is high time that we add the fourth “R” to the basic skills taught in education—reading, ‘riting, ’rithmetic, and resonance!

Dating and Mating in an Online World

Internet dating can create anxiety for some people. And there is nothing wrong with trying to meet someone the old-fashioned way. It just takes a lot longer usually. If going online is uncomfortable for you, then perhaps you could be introduced to someone through a friend or meet someone by getting out in your community. There still are singles dances and get-togethers. Ju

What Happens When a Psychopath Falls in Love

The typical profile of a psychopath is of someone who is incapable of love. However, should people high in psychopathy manage to form intimate bonds, here's what can await them and their partners.