Essential Reads

Getting to the Source

Confessions of a Replication Scientist

Why You Shouldn’t Give Friends Unsolicited Love Advice

Unwanted advice is more likely to harm than help the recipient.

Now You See It, Now You Don’t: The Many Faces of Narcissism

It’s time for narcissism to be “rebranded”—enter "Rethinking Narcissism."

This Trait Costs Men Money, but Makes Them Marriage Material

Would you rather have a broke partner or a broken heart?

Recent Posts on Relationships

Invisible

By Fran Simone Ph.D. on July 28, 2015 in A Family Affair
Conflict is a part of every relationship. It’s often more pronounced for family’s affected by addiction. Often moms, dads, sisters and brothers disagree on how best to handle the thorny situations fueled by the addict’s behavior.

Putting Humanity and the Humanities Back Into Medicine

By Allen J Frances M.D. on July 28, 2015 in Saving Normal
The relationship between medical art and science is changing rapidly, with the science now overwhelming the art. Doctors more and more function like technicians, not healers. A knowledge of the humanities is crucial if doctors are to treat patients, not lab tests.

When Men Aren't As Good-Looking As They Think

By Mark Travers Ph.D. on July 27, 2015 in Social Instincts
Research finds, again, that men tend to overestimate their own attractiveness.

4 Excellent Strategies to Deal With Friends and Money

For richer or poorer? When your friends have more or less. The gap between the rich and poor in the U.S. is the widest it has been since the Great Depression. And our social lives may be suffering as a result.

Seeing the Person Within the Persona

Irrelationship is about a lot of things: a co-created and shared defense, compulsive caregiving, Performing and Audiencing, suffering and feeling trapped and helpless. It is also about hiding out in a routine, a song-and-dance routine. That routine is like a mask that protects the self from observation—it is a persona-in-action (an enacted disguise).

10 Signs You’re Dating a Narcissist

The Mayo Clinic research group defines narcissistic personality disorder as “a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. How do you know when you’re dating a narcissist? Here are ten telltale signs...

Dumped Without An Explanation: Is There Anything To Do?

A woman feels dumped without explanation by her close friend and wonders how to move on.

Love, Sex, and Pornography

By Frances Cohen Praver Ph.D. on July 26, 2015 in Love Doc
Liz sat on the far end of the couch and smiled weakly.”I love Adam and I want to make him happy.” “Uh huh…” I said. Liz continued. “I feel I’m falling short of my goal. I would do next to anything to please Adam. But there are some things I’m not so sure about.”

How to Escape a Master Manipulator

The best way to handle the manipulative people in our lives is to become less manipulatable. We are only as easily manipulated as we choose to be – manipulators make us feel good when we bend to their needs.

Otome: What We Can Learn About Love from J-Romance Games

By Ravi Chandra M.D. on July 25, 2015 in The Pacific Heart
Otome are romance simulation games, primarily for girls and women, initially made in Japan but now spreading worldwide. I was interviewed for the Bullet Train podcast as a psychiatrist to comment on what we can learn about love from otome. A lot, it turns out!

Treating Eating Disorders the New-Fashioned Way

The establishment and assuredness of a safe and trusting relationship between patient and therapist prior to making the transition from office to on-line, plus symptoms being well under control or gone, then YES, my experience has shown that continued progress and recovery is possible, particularly for eating disorder patients with underlying anxiety & depression.

The Problem with a Trust-But-Verify Approach

As a leader, do you know when to use a "trust, but verify" approach at work, and when not to? Are you making a common mistake about trust? Find out; plus explore five practices effective leaders use to build trust.

5 Ways to Deliver Bad News With a Minimum of Pain

Very few, if any, of us truly enjoys being the bearer of bad news. If you have no choice but to be that messenger, there are ways to get the job done with a minimum of damaged feelings. These 5 strategies will help you figure out how to make the best out of some of life’s unpleasant situations.

A Crash Course on Gender Differences - Session 10

By Eyal Winter on July 25, 2015 in Feeling Smart
On Sex, Procreation and Sperm Compitition: How do Human Beings Differ from Animals.

It’s Time For Our Culture Of Overwork To Be Over

By Tim Leberecht on July 24, 2015 in The Romance of Work
We may talk a good game about how we want to achieve the ever-elusive work/life balance—but what do we do about it? How many of us approach it with the kind of profound urgency that marks the conundrums we attempt to solve at work? I had the chance recently to sit down with Brigid Schulte, author of "Overwhelmed: How to Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time."

Spiritual Power to Redirect the Impact of Divorce

Children often experience divorce as the death of the family. Parents may draw upon spiritual insight to redefine the family, demonstrating how authentic faith models healthy relating, among other critical qualities to support the child's development of healthy relationships.

47 Reasons Why It's Really, Really Good to Be an Aunt

By Melanie Notkin on July 24, 2015 in Savvy Auntie
Every aunt knows how fortunate we are to have the love of our nieces and nephews. And we are grateful to their parents, who have given us the gift of aunthood. And so, Auntie's Day is also a time for us to appreciate all really good things that aunthood brings...

Marriage Preparation

The good news is that you don’t have to have had a great track record in the relationship department or in your personal family experience in order to develop the skills and character traits that enhance the likelihood of success in relationships.

4 Reasons Love Is an Outdated Idea

By Kira Asatryan on July 24, 2015 in The Art of Closeness
Is the concept of "love" holding our culture back?

Why the Self-Absorbed Are Successful

Two characteristics help self-absorbed people to be successful: a continual focus on personal goals, and a lack of concern for the impact of what they do and say on others.

The Pros and Cons of Polygamy

With gay marriage now legal across the USA, some are suggesting that legal polygamy should be next. But would this really be a good idea?

The Loneliness of Social Media, Part Two

Social media is not always very social. Understanding why not can help us understand what is lacking in our lives.

In Marriage, It's Compassion or Resentment

Marriages die a slow death from too little compassion. Most marriages end in a whimper, not a bang.

What Matters More? Size or Quality of Your Social Network

What's more important for your health, happiness, and well-being—the quantity or quality of your social network?

Ask Not What Fun Does for You

By Bernard L. De Koven on July 24, 2015 in On Having Fun
Making a list of what you do for fun.

"Should I Believe What the Internet Says About Borderlines?"

"I have read things on the Internet and I am worried that being my boyfriend or family member is a form of torture (although my current boyfriend assures me he likes being with me). Am I really like those people?"

How to Complain So People Will Listen

Friends and family are supposed to love you, so why is it they don't always seem to care when you complain about their behavior? It might be something about the way you're saying it. Start seeing results with these practical tips for communicating complaints.

Why It's Time to Change How You Divide Your Time

We are constantly bombarded with how to achieve greater work-life balance. What if we pursued an optimal time budget instead? Other species do not allocate time evenly across activities. Instead they devote time according to priorities that maximize their success.

Why Female Celebrities Get Stuck in Public Feuds

By Seth Meyers Psy.D. on July 23, 2015 in Insight Is 20/20
Three music superstars - Nicki Minaj, Taylor Swift and Katy Perry - recently acted out what happens on playgrounds between females far and wide. Why do they do it? It has to do with what's called "relational aggression."

4 Disorders That May Thrive on Loneliness

By Kira Asatryan on July 23, 2015 in The Art of Closeness
What part might feeling alone play in your struggles?