Essential Reads

The Scientific Case for Owning Up to Your Porn Use

Women are happier when they believe their partners are honest about porn habits.

Singles, You Can Lower Your Risk of Divorce

The things you can do before you marry that can change your odds of divorce

20 Tactics the Pros Use to Deal with Difficult People

Can you reason with unreasonable people?

Empathy for a Child Abuser?

Empathy for the Undeserving Can Be a Useful Strategy for Changing Families

Recent Posts on Relationships

6 Ways to Get Past the Pain of Unrequited Love

By F. Diane Barth L.C.S.W. on February 07, 2015 in Off the Couch
It sounds romantic – to love someone with all of your heart and soul, whether or not they love you back. But the reality is very different. The pain of loving someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you can be almost unbearable. It certainly doesn’t feel romantic. It just feels devastating. How do you deal with the feeling?

Looking For Approval In All The Wrong Places?

To heal means “to make whole” and unless we come to terms with our brokenness, we can’t experience ourselves as whole. When we regain the experience of wholeness we become more able to trust the validity of our own experience even when others opinions contradict it.

What Goes on in Your Mind When You Feel Emotions?

By Shahram Heshmat Ph.D. on February 07, 2015 in Science of Choice
Understanding emotion is a complicated business.

5 Ways to Get Your Unwanted Emotions Under Control

Being able to control your emotions is key to your happiness as well as your relationships. With these 5 strategies, you’ll be able to feel better and react more effectively to challenges both large and small.

Best Media Debunking of the Myth of Marital Bliss

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on February 07, 2015 in Living Single
For way too long, reporters who should know better have been perpetuating myths about the benefits of marrying based on working papers and press releases. Finally, someone challenged those claims instead of just repeating them.

de·tach·ment

A person becomes detached from a hut only when they are able to move into a mansion.

5 Research-Backed Reasons We Wear Makeup

Today's cosmetics are not as arbitrary as they might seem.

Irrelationship's Performer—Human Antidepressants

The song-and-dance routine of the "Performer" is driven by the need to distance himself from his own anxiety and pain by taking care of his primary caregiver (usually a parent). He will often develop into the do-gooder, caretaker, rescuer or hero, but those are roles cultivated from childhood, usually emerging from a distinct relational—or irrelational—pattern.

Are Your Affairs in Order?

By Rick Miller LICSW on February 05, 2015 in Unwrapped
After we are gone, where our stuff ends up, even where we end up, will be decisions left to others … unless we take the steps now to ensure that our wishes are carried forward. Not only does this protect our legacy, it relieves the burden from loved ones of trying to guess what we would have wanted.

Well Hung and Happy, Right?

By Rick Miller LICSW on February 05, 2015 in Unwrapped
The media tells us who we are – and are not. The vast majority of us are too this, and not enough that. And for gay men, one message certainly is clear: “size does matter.”

What Straight Couples Can Learn from Gay Couples

By Rick Miller LICSW on February 05, 2015 in Unwrapped
Ten things that gay couples know that every couple should learn. Gay couples often have had to fight for their relationship against great odds: the upside is they know how to do it and why it is worth it.

My High School Reunion? No Way!

By Rick Miller LICSW on February 05, 2015 in Unwrapped
Folks hate the idea of high school reunions, but sometimes they offer an opportunity for unexpected healing. It can be very freeing to realize how far one has traveled from the narrow halls of adolescence – and often how far others have come too.

When Sex Isn’t About Pleasure

By Rick Miller LICSW on February 05, 2015 in Unwrapped
Sexual compulsivity is treatable. That may be one of the most important sentences you will ever hear. If it’s threatening your personal and professional life, there is an alternative.

Perry & Swift: How Do You Handle Friendship Fallouts?

By Jane Greer Ph.D. on February 05, 2015 in Shrink Wrap
Is your friend trustworthy?

The Surprising Psychology of BDSM

‘Fifty Shades’ piqued your curiosity? Answers to five kinky questions.

Sexual Connection at Any Stage

By Rick Miller LICSW on February 05, 2015 in Unwrapped
The bad news is that your sexual relationship ain’t what it used to be! The good news is it can be something more. Sometimes we confuse the ebb and flow of sexual attraction in long-term relationships with the worthiness of the relationship itself.

Leading From the Heart

What makes a good leader and can we learn those skills as adults?

5 Ways to Express Your Love on Valentine’s Day

By Lisa Firestone Ph.D. on February 04, 2015 in Compassion Matters
Valentine’s Day should be what each of us makes of it and nothing more. So whether you’re a hopeless romantic or just-not-a-candy-heart-kinda-person, here are a handful of ways we all can make the most out of this year’s Feb. 14… or any day for that matter.

Your Relationship with You

By Donna Flagg on February 04, 2015 in Honestly
It explains why people choose relationships that are far from happy, healthy or fulfilling?

3 Things a Parent Should Never Say to a Kid

By Erica Reischer Ph.D. on February 04, 2015 in What Great Parents Do
Avoid these 3 toxic phrases when talking to kids, and say this instead

The Low Legal Threshold To Say "I Do"

By Marlynn Wei M.D., J.D. on February 04, 2015 in Urban Survival
What does the law require of the mental state for marriage? You might be surprised to find out that most states require more mental capacity to sign an apartment lease than a marriage license.

5 Ways to Stop Giving Negative People Too Much Power

Negative people can deplete your mental strength fast if you're not careful. Take steps to prevent Debbie Downers and Negative Nancys from dragging you down.

How to Tell Your Boss How You Feel

By Marcia Reynolds Psy.D. on February 04, 2015 in Wander Woman
Sometimes you need to teach your boss how to best manage you—what motivates you and demotivates you—so you can perform at your best. Here is a technique you can use with tips for making this uncomfortable conversation work in your favor.

An Expert Guide to Lies and Liars

By Adrian Furnham Ph.D. on February 04, 2015 in A Sideways View
We are all both good liars and hopefully good lie-detectors. Much of social life involves behaviours that are designed to cover up facts and create a particular impression. It makes sense to try and distinguish the types of lie that most people tell on a regular basis

Sexy, Sensual, or Intimate—What is Your Sexual Style?

By Randi Gunther Ph.D. on February 03, 2015 in Rediscovering Love
We each have our own personal and unique sexual signature that may help or hinder sexual connections with the one we love. Examine your own sexual history to benefit the relationship you are in or to attract a relationship partner best suited for your style.

Confronting the Poisonous Male-Female Power Struggle

Acknowledging that it is normal and healthy for sexuality to have different roles and meanings for each partner are important.

Sex Is a Team Sport—and There's No "I" in Team!

Women, men, and couples who accept that sexuality is a team sport involving more than intercourse are the ones who thrive.

Can Leadership Be Learned or Are You Born with It?

By Guy Winch Ph.D. on February 03, 2015 in The Squeaky Wheel
Promotions to positions of leadership are a mixed blessing for those whose leadership skills are weak. But are leadership skills hereditary or can they be acquired? Read on to find out:

Why We Can't Stay Focused During Sex, and Why It Matters

By Noam Shpancer Ph.D. on February 03, 2015 in Insight Therapy
We frequently think about sex when we’re not having it. But when we’re actually having sex, our thoughts often wander, undermining our sexual functioning and enjoyment.

What It Really Means to Be 'Friends With Benefits'

By Suzanne Lachmann Psy.D. on February 03, 2015 in Me Before We
When you ask to be FWB before you’ve even developed a connection, you’re putting stress and expectations on a relationship that hasn’t even formed yet.