Essential Reads

5 Reasons Why the Fairy Tale (Almost) Always Dies

Here are five reasons why fairy tale dreams often lead to misery in romance

Are You A Status Seeker? The Chances Are Good that You Are

Exploring how status motivates all of us

Unbroken by Divorce: 5 Rules of Resilience

What's different about the people who are least likely to be undone by divorce

What Do Women Look for in a Mate?

Choosing a potential mate is always tricky. A new research study shows why.

Recent Posts on Relationships

How To Change Your Life

By Sheila Kohler on April 12, 2015 in Dreaming for Freud
Change, which is so difficult to achieve in life and to portray in literature is often brought about by a catalyst, a stranger, who comes into our lives and makes us see ourselves in a different and perhaps more truthful light.

Kicking an Abuser Out of Your Life, and Out of Your Head

Kicking an Abuser Out of Your Life, and Out of Your Head. Ending an abusive relationship requires leaving physically and psychologically. By Avigail Gordon , M.A.

Holding a Grudge Produces Cortisol and Diminishes Oxytocin

Are you currently holding a grudge against someone? Is someone holding a grudge against you? This blog post offers scientific reasons and some basic advice on how-to let go of a grudge and move on with your life.

Business As Unusual

Bring it or blow it. Can you stand the feeling of intimacy and closeness in a new business relationship? Does this throw you off your game and make you back off, or blow it? In this entry we address how it is that irrelationship can trigger old, and familiar anxieties, kick up old song-and-dance routines, and ultimately, cause you to fail in your entrepreneurial efforts.

Rejected!

By Joachim I Krueger Ph.D. on April 11, 2015 in One Among Many
Breaking up is easy to do but difficult to digest. Here’s some consolation. Sort of.

Her Marriage, and His

By Steven Mintz Ph.D. on April 11, 2015 in The Prime of Life
Why it is so hard to make a marriage last.

4 Ways to Thwart the Serenity Stealers

Learn the danger signs that affect you when you are in the presence of someone seems to intrude on your peace.

10 Great Ways to Get to Know New People Without Awkwardness

Icebreakers are a traditional way to overcome the original awkwardness that many people feel when they first form a group. Whether it’s with a class, a set of co-workers, or a volunteer committee, a little psychology will go a long way toward building group cohesion and identity.

Smiling at Fear

I’m remembering the words of Swami Satchidananda , who was fond of saying that we can’t stop the waves from coming, but we can learn to surf. Hang ten!

You're Not Going to Like This: Delivering Bad News

By Isadora Alman MFT on April 10, 2015 in Sex & Sociability
Unpleasant news delivered considerately can sweeten the bitter pill.

The Secret to Friendship - Revealed!

By Kira Asatryan on April 10, 2015 in The Art of Closeness
What makes friendships so much easier than romantic and family relationships? The secret may surprise you!

Is Competition Between Men Healthy?

In moderation, competition is a normal, healthy human expression and way to strengthen ourselves. But it is not uncommon for competition to be taken to extremes, and manipulated to feed a man’s ego. If left unaddressed, unhealthy competitiveness can lead towards detrimental relationships and other long-term problems for men.

The Best Bosses Aren't Bossy

By Victor Lipman on April 10, 2015 in Mind of the Manager
Overmanaging is one of the least discussed but most prevalent problems of management. Too much management—often a.k.a. bossiness—is the enemy of productivity.

The Problem of Having Only One Friend

Friendships that feel one-sided and unsupportive usually aren't worth the cost.

How to Leave Your Company (On a Good Note)

By Tim Leberecht on April 09, 2015 in The Romance of Work
The average employee will change jobs 11 times during a career. Here are a few suggestions for how we can begin to consecrate a professional transition. They can help you honor the institutional knowledge you’ve built up during your tenure, including the triumphs that thrilled you and the failures that stretched you.

What makes Seattle so sexy?

The city of Seattle is surrounded by water on all sides, and the topography forms a natural hourglass figure that in the autumn, winter, and spring months is perpetually moist from rain. The lush green landscape creates a feeling of love for and enjoyment of the natural world.

The Freedom to Enjoy Secure Functioning

By Stan Tatkin Psy.D. on April 09, 2015 in The Puzzle of Love
Psychological principles underlie the current political debate over same-sex unions. Like all couples, same-sex couples have a better chance to thrive in an environment that supports their ability to form a secure-functioning relationship.

3 Big Obstacles to Change and How to Overcome Them

By Craig Malkin on April 09, 2015 in Romance Redux
Recently, Justin Bieber’s been trying to overhaul his image. Reception has been mixed, mostly because some people doubt the sincerity of his efforts, but his attempts, as well as the skepticism surrounding them, have highlighted a truth that resonates for us all: It’s really hard to change. Here's why—and what you can do about it.

15 Ways to Share Love in the Springtime

Whether it is real or simply a happy time that enlivens us, here are some ways to take advantage of spring fever with someone special in your life.

Jealousy, Simple and Complex

Simple jealousy functions in many adult relationships as a kind of distance-regulator. When the partners drift apart, the pang of jealousy motivates more attention and connecting behavior.

Can There Be Too Much Romantic Sensitivity?

Sensitivity is often praised as one of the most important pillars of a good romantic relationship. Although this is indeed the case, too much romantic sensitivity can overburden a relationship. How then can we find the optimal balance of sensitivity in the complex romantic realm?

You Want Couple’s Counseling But Your Partner Does Not

By Suzanne Gelb Ph.D., J.D. on April 08, 2015 in All Grown Up
“Should I still come to counseling to work on my relationship if my partner won’t come? Maybe I should just give up. We’re doomed, right?” I hear this type of question quite often. It’s unfortunate, but often the partner who really needs counseling refuses to show up. Still, my answer to anyone wondering, “Should I get counseling even if my partner won't come?" is... Yes.

How to Fix Any Problem: The 3 Step Approach

By Robert Taibbi L.C.S.W. on April 08, 2015 in Fixing Families
While the content of the problems we are forced to deal with every day constantly changes, the basic approach we need to put the problem to rest is always the same. Here are the three steps.

Work-Life Balance Lesson We Learn From Stephen King's Desk

By John Corcoran on April 08, 2015 in Making Connections Count
Most of us struggle at some point to figure out our calling in life. We lose interest in our job or get disillusioned with our career, and we wonder what work we were really meant to do. Jeff Goins once felt that way, but after he found his calling, his writing career and his business took off.

Ambushed by Eldercare? You’re Not Alone

How to handle the multiple challenges of eldercare.

This May Explain Your Relationship Frustrations

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on April 08, 2015 in Ambigamy
Some people need to process, others try to avoid it. Both are looking for ways to feel safe and free within intimacy.

Being the DUFF

What role do you play in your relationships?

Don’t Worry About What to Say

There is almost always a hidden agenda in the use of communication techniques.

We Break Our Own Hearts

By Billi Gordon Ph.D. on April 07, 2015 in Obesely Speaking
Our perception is our worst enemy in love and addictive behaviors.

Looking in the Cultural Mirror at 100, the Top 10

Five years ago, I began writing pieces for Looking in the Cultural Mirror. While psychology may define itself as the science of behavior, when it comes to people it often seems more like the science of American behavior than of human behavior everywhere. This, my 100th piece, discusses the blog’s background and aims. It offers links to the most popular 10.