Essential Reads

Is Pregnancy Contagious? How About Marriage or Divorce?

Our friends influence us in surprising ways.

The Value of Romantic Gestures

How our relationships would improve if we incorporated more romantic rituals.

The Scientific Case for Owning Up to Your Porn Use

Women are happier when they believe their partners are honest about porn habits.

Singles, You Can Lower Your Risk of Divorce

The things you can do before you marry that can change your odds of divorce

Recent Posts on Relationships

Are Your Boundaries Making You Miserable?

By Leon F Seltzer Ph.D. on February 12, 2015 in Evolution of the Self
Sure, you need boundaries. And undeniably, you have the right to assert them—whether to safeguard your privacy, self-respect, or basic sense of decency. So it’s crucial to develop the ability and self-confidence to say no, or to tell others to stop doing what they’re doing. But what also needs to be emphasized is that some of your boundaries may be holding you hostage. . .

Attachment Styles Can't Change, Can They?

John Bowlby, the founding father of attachment theory, argued that the attachment style formed in early childhood often continues to shape a person’s behavior far into adulthood, permeating all future liasons. The attachment style of adults, however, need not completely reflect the child’s early interactions with a caregiver. Sometimes it undergoes a radical shift.

Fail! A Tip for Valentine's Day

By Mark O'Connell L.C.S.W. on February 12, 2015 in Quite Queerly
It is necessary to fail in all of ourrelationships if we ever want them to grow.

Three Risky Ways to Fall Deeply in Love

By Christine L Carter Ph.D. on February 12, 2015 in Raising Happiness
Love feels magical and biological—something that just happens to us, something beyond our control. Research shows, however, that love is better thought of as behavioral—or even transactional.

When You Should (and Shouldn't) Be Friends with Your Ex

By Seth Meyers Psy.D. on February 11, 2015 in Insight Is 20/20
Most people cut off contact with an ex once the relationship ends, but shouldn't there be a core of friendship that can continue? Do we have to approach relationships in such an all-or-nothing way?

Love Was Just Around the Corner

By Judith Coche Ph.D., ABPP on February 11, 2015 in No Ordinary Life
Just when Eva assumed love had passed her by it stopped to call and stayed a while. Perhaps the reason is that Eva has done superb work to strengthen her troubled family experiences and to build positivity and resilience. Join us as we stop in to see how she built her career and found a Valentine’s Day love just around the corner when she was 55.

Surprising yet Simple Tips for Making a Love Connection

By Melissa Burkley Ph.D. on February 11, 2015 in The Social Thinker
Three simple tips for increasing your attractiveness while on a date

How Texting Can Strengthen a Relationship

By Kira Asatryan on February 11, 2015 in The Art of Closeness
Digital communication can cause many misunderstandings. But it's also the most convenient form of communication we have. Learn how to use it to foster closeness in your relationships, not distance.

9 Questions to Ask Before Starting a Workplace Romance

Flirtation, sex, and love might be tempting when you and a colleague share a mutual attraction. But is it a good idea?

The Greatest Challenge a Couple Faces, and 5 Ways to Beat It

By Kerry Patterson on February 11, 2015 in Crucial Conversations
According to a study, couples who argue effectively are 10 times more likely to have a happy relationship than those who struggle to discuss disagreements.

3 Proven Ways a List Can Revolutionize Your Love Life

By Duana C. Welch Ph.D. on February 11, 2015 in Love Proof
Most people resist making a list when it comes to finding love. Here's why that's a mistake—and why a few minutes can bring you decades of joy.

True Love vs. False Love

By Mark Banschick M.D. on February 11, 2015 in The Intelligent Divorce
Falling in love is great. But loving a real person is better.

Love and Love-Ability

By Ann Smith on February 11, 2015 in Healthy Connections
Being love-able means that I am able to be loved, able to make a conscious choice about who I want to love, and accept love when it is offered.

Waiting for Nothing: Loving Yourself on Valentine's Day

Instead of waiting to be loved by others on Valentine's Day, what if we took ownership of our own love and waited for nothing?

3 Relationship Myths, Debunked (and 1 Proven True)

A lot of love advice out there is nothing more than myths and urban legends. If you are an experienced myth buster, go solve some puzzles on Mensa's math site. If not, continue reading.

Getting Ready to Get Back Out in the Dating World

Getting ready to date again after your big breakup isn't easy, but it's worth it (and so are you!)

Why Couples Need Other Couples

By Geoffrey Greif Ph.D. on February 10, 2015 in Buddy System
Couples should consider spending Valentine's Day with another couple they both admire and respect. Seeing a spouse/partner happy in a couple's friendship can make that spouse/partner even more attractive.

51 Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship

By Alice Boyes Ph.D. on February 10, 2015 in In Practice
While many relationships may display one or two of these warning signs, toxic relationships often feature a lot of these alarm bells.

When, if Ever, Is It Okay to Lie to Your Partner?

There are benefits and risks to lying in a relationship. You may want to protect your partner by telling a white lie, but if you’re found out, your partner will feel betrayed. New research provides guidelines on how to handle the truth in your closest relationship.

What the Experts Really Think About '50 Shades of Grey'

By Guy Winch Ph.D. on February 10, 2015 in The Squeaky Wheel
What relationship experts really think about the book and upcoming movie may surprise you...

The 3 Best Gifts You Can Give Your Partner

By Karl Pillemer Ph.D. on February 10, 2015 in Lessons for Loving
We often focus on big-ticket gifts in our romantic relationships. But surveys of long-married couples show the importance of "thinking small"—focusing on small, positive actions routinely in a relationship. It's those continual, loving gestures that lead to a long and satisfying relationship.

What Matters Most in a Man?

By Stephen Snyder M.D. on February 10, 2015 in SexualityToday
I wonder what Jane Austen would think about Fifty Shades. Sure, she'd probably hate the prose. But if she got past that, she'd definitely be interested in what has and hasn't changed for women in the two centuries that divide Pride and Prejudice from Fifty Shades of Grey.

How to Fall in Love (Again, With the Same Person)

By Tamar Chansky Ph.D on February 09, 2015 in Worry Wise
By answering many probing questions that reveal intimate details about themselves, couples make deep, lasting connections. This is what researchers find is relationship super glue: We consistently like the people with whom we do back and forth self-disclosure. We like them a lot. So much, that we might even fall in love with them all over again!

How to Help a Self-Destructive Partner (and What Not to Do)

As Valentine’s Day approaches, couples become more mindful of the ways in which they can show their love through caring gestures and gifts. However, many people are in a relationship with a significant other who is grappling with some form of self-destructive behavior. Learn the do's and don'ts that can help you navigate this difficult and emotionally charged issue.

Why You Might Find It Harder to Make New Friends

By Denise Cummins Ph.D. on February 09, 2015 in Good Thinking
Every seven years we lose about half of our close network of friends and replace them with others. Here's how it's done.

Mixed Messages in Your Family? A Quiz You Can Take

By David M. Allen M.D. on February 09, 2015 in A Matter of Personality
A highly prevalent feature in families that produce an offspring with a significant personality disorder is parents who give their children mixed, contradictory messages about how to behave in certain social circumstances. To see how your family stacks up against other families and to find out what issues your family has, I herein provide a self-administered quiz for you.

Crucial Connections: Friendships in Older Adulthood

Wisdom may come with age, but well-being will flourish if friends are in the picture, too.

How Confused Are We About Sex and Intimacy?

By Donna Flagg on February 09, 2015 in Honestly
For many, sex is used as a vehicle to escape, disconnect and hide.

12 Steps to Beat the Post-Valentine's Divorce Odds

By Pamela D. Garcy Ph.D. on February 09, 2015 in Fearless You
Twelve steps to beat March's odds for divorce using REBT.

What Happens to Students on the Fast Track to College?

Most of us spend four years in high school, but every once in a while you’ll hear about some prodigy who enters college earlier than typical. For example, Murray Gell-Mann, the Nobel Prize winning physicist, entered Yale University at age 15. Gell-Mann turned out pretty successful, but what about people who entered college early as a whole?