I wish that the stepmothers in my practice could listen in on each other's conversations. If they could, they would see how common it is to feel the way that they do and they might not feel so alone and isolated. So, since I can't let them eavesdrop, I'm listing the most common complaints that I hear. Tune in for more details in the coming weeks.
Instead of generating reasons why getting married makes you lastingly happier (since it doesn't), let's see if we can figure out why, despite all the matrimania and the singlism, the vast majority of single people live happy and healthy lives filled with sustained emotional connections. (Yes, studies show that.)
Sometimes it only takes one person to determine that nobody is in fact trustworthy. In the process, we often lose trust in ourselves—simply because our judgment of the person or circumstance was incorrect—and we then wonder how we can believe our own judgment.
Our culture hasn't developed many institutions--other than marriage--for ongoing emotional attention. If you don't have a good spouse (or luck out with other caring family members, or a good shrink), you're largely living in a world in which interactions are legitimized by profit.
Cheaters have been big news lately from Tiger Woods to John Edwards. The media asks who does it, why they do it, signs to look for, types of cheaters and is it an addiction? Although that discussion is important it tends to neglect the equally important questions of what is it like for the partner of a cheater, who are they, how do they feel, do they ever recover and how do they decide whether to stay or leave?
If you're married or in a committed relationship, odds are that it doesn't begin to live up to that near-idyllic time of courtship. Why? Simply because during courtship, once your partner had endeared themselves to you, you knew better than to threaten the relationship by criticizing them. . . .
Some years ago, my heart broke very badly after a relationship that, even as it was beginning, I knew probably could not last. I could say that I wish that it was the only time that my heart had ever broken, but I'd be lying. It's not that I enjoy heartbreak. The tissues I sobbed into and the Tylenol PM that I took in order to fall asleep those first couple of nights would tell you a story of just how much I don't like to experience hurt.But here's the thing: this heartbreak and willingness to try again is central to a point that I want to make: namely, that I think it pays to be foolish in love and in sex.
If you have a friend, a sibling, a parent, a child, a cousin, a coworker, a neighbor, or just about any other person in your life, and you maintain a connection with that person, you have a relationship. You are in a relationship.
Alongside with the increasing rate of divorce and separation in modern society, we are witnessing a greater tendency to search for ex-lovers. Is such a search able to rekindle past loves and make them continue longer? The answer seems to be positive.
A recent conversation with some colleagues brought us all to the rather stark realization that we had consistently experienced clients who had maintained on-going social, emotional, or sexual extra-marital affairs, but demonstrated no intention of leaving their primary relationship and, in fact, typically espoused quite the opposite.
In less than 10 years, the number of people over 50 that are living together has just about doubled to more than two million . As I mentioned in my previous blogs, for older singles that have already had children or been through a divorce, moving in together is often their final goal. They are interested in companionship and not in building a whole new family life. Is sharing digs a good move for these singles? Will it help or hurt the development of a deeper dedication and caring in the couple?