Essential Reads

Nine Lessons from Mad Men: The Emotional Cost of Dishonesty

How our lies hurt us and how to repair the damage caused by dishonesty

A Simple Way to Stop Relationship Arguments From Spiraling

First thing's first: Are you even fighting about the same thing?

How Our Lips Speak Louder Than Our Words

When you see the signs, you need to know what to say next.

Recent Posts on Relationships

Foreplay Starts at 7AM

There is within every relationship what we might refer to as a "gender balance". That balance does not necessarily parallel the actual gender of those in the relationship but, for the moment, let's assume girls will be girls and boys will be boys. That said, gentlemen, a lesson we often fail to recognize is that the best way to a woman's heart is her head.

Is your partner a matrimonial slacker?

According to conventional wisdom, matrimonial slackers cause marital dissatisfaction.

Are You in Love with One Person While Committed to Another?

In the comments on my posts on adultery, as well as in recent conversations with friends, the topic of loving two people (romantically) came up rather often. Can we truly love two people at once, or will we unavoidably be abandoning one love for another? And if indeed we can love two people at once, are we shortchanging one or both of them by doing so? Let's think about it...

Darling, Please Be More Insensitive to Other Women

The call for emotions to play a greater role in our life is generally understood as a demand for greater sensitivity toward other people. But such a call should not be understood as a call for overall greater sensitivity. In fact, love requires both greater sensitivity and a measure of insensitivity (or indifference) toward other people. 

A Clinical Portrait of Excessive Online Porn Use (Part 9)

By Todd Essig Ph.D. on May 14, 2010 in Over-Simulated
 Paul faces a life-defining choice and the challenge of making that choice an authentic, genuine one.  

The REAL Love Story - A Three Act Play

Bare your bodies --> bare your teeth --> bare your necks

Recovering from Sorrow, Loss and Heartache

Sometimes, when we are recovering from sorrow, loss or heartache we feel the need to push aside our grief lest it overwhelms us with its intensity.  This is understandable, but the longer you avoid your paid and attempt to push it away, the more difficult it will be to break out of your paralysis.  Learn an effective exercise and meditation to help you transition from sorrow towards feelings and sensations of vitality, passion and well-being.

Why It's Good to Feel Guilty

Why do we engage in guilty pleasures, then, since we know that guilt is a demon? It is an awful, horrible sensation that eats away at your mind, consuming you if you let it, and eventually leaves you emotionally drained. It must be because the pleasure part outweighs the guilt part.

Does Love Threaten Autonomy?

In my earlier post dealing with being afraid of love, a commenter mentioned that what she feared in love was the loss of autonomy that (in her opinion) comes with it. I think that's a reasonable thing to be apprehensive about, though if understood in the right way, that apprehension may disappear—here's how.

Beyond the Gay Debate: Elena Kagan and What We Still Don’t Get About People Who Are Single

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on May 12, 2010 in Living Single
Amidst all of the "is she or isn't she" (a lesbian) talk about Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan, there are arguments intended as defenses of her single life: "Oh, she just hasn't found the right person yet. It is hard for someone so accomplished to find a man who can deal with that. She does date, you know." What is too often missing even among some of the smartest commentaries is the possibility that Kagan actually likes her single life. 

The Right To A Healthy Relationship

By Ann Smith on May 12, 2010 in Healthy Connections
Thousands of people are stuck in controlling and abusive relationships. Some are able to get help, leave and change their lives. Others are tragically murdered by their partners as we sadly read last week about Yeardley Love's brutal and unnecessary death at the hands of a former boyfriend at the University of Virginia. In my blog today, I'm going to touch on two really important points related to the issue of relationship violence. 

If Craving Acknowledgment Makes One Wicked--Then Stepmothers Are Wicked!

By Wednesday Martin Ph.D. on May 12, 2010 in Stepmonster
Why women with stepchildren aren't likely to hear "thank you!" this Stepmother's Day. It's not what you think...

May is Borderline Personality Disorder Month

April showers bring May flowers and May brings....Borderline Personality Disorder Month. BPD has come a long way, baby from complete indifference in the mid 1990's (my web site www.BPDCentral, launched in 1995, was one of the first on the topic) to (finally) a flowering of studies, books, blogs, websites, non-profit organizations, treatment centers, and even (after years of advocacy) acceptance into the umbrella of disorders within NAMI's educational efforts.

Why Keeping Your Promise is Good for YOU

Did you know that breaking promises can actually be bad for you?  Find out why, plus get some tips on chosing which commitments to make and how to keep them!

Post Mother's Day Reflections

For many women with infertility, the week after Mother's Day feels like a time to let out a deep breath.  We took that deep breath sometime in early April when the first advertisements appeared and we, unlike the mothers in our midst, wondered how we would survive the holiday this year.  So, did we? 

When "meaningful coincidences" are just plain mean

By Micah Toub on May 11, 2010 in Growing Up Jung
Ever since I was introduced to the idea of synchronicity as a kid, I identified "meaningful coincidences" in my life somewhat often. I'd see the initials of someone I had a crush on everywhere or a rare book I was looking for would appear randomly on the sidewalk.

How The Pill Could Ruin Your Life

By Christopher Ryan on May 11, 2010 in Sex at Dawn
Caution: women taking birth control pills respond differently to male scent cues concerning immunological compatibility. This could lead to less healthy children and serious sexual problems in the marriage.

What Do You Want From Me?

 I am infatuated by Adam Lambert – or more specifically, with his hit song, "What do you want from me?" It’s so incredibly raw and visceral; it’s a song I just really feel echoes deep inside.  Many a time I’ve asked “What do you want from me” to various people in my life, although usually I’ve not said it aloud. I wonder what would happen if I went for a week actually asking people this question?   

From Being Ashamed to Being Empowered

Have you ever felt judged, shamed, gossiped about, but confused in how to see what's true, false, or what to do next? If you ever felt more than criticized - instead more like wounded to the bone - this is how to deal with it.