Essential Reads

Living With a Control Freak? Some Sanity Tips

Control: Like most things it’s not about what you think and not personal

Breakup: How to Tell If You Suffer from Complicated Grief

The emotional responses to a severe breakup can resemble the responses to death.

When Women Use Jealousy

Surprising benefits of rousing the green-eyed monster

If You Judge People, You Have No Time To Love Them

Missing Out on Enjoying The People in Our Lives

Recent Posts on Relationships

Why Procrastinators Aren't Very Happy

By Timothy A Pychyl Ph.D. on April 12, 2010 in Don't Delay
Although it would seem that procrastination should make us happier, as we're avoiding a task we'd rather not do, research consistently demonstrates that higher scores on procrastination are associated with lower scores on well-being and higher scores on measures of stress. Here's one reason procrastination doesn't buy happiness.

A Clinical Portrait of Excessive Online Porn Use (Part 4)

By Todd Essig Ph.D. on April 12, 2010 in Over-Simulated
In the latest installment in a serialized "clinical portrait" of psychotherapy with a talented young man struggling with excessive use of online pornography titled "Paul and His Girls," Paul finally starts talking about how and why he uses pornography. To the surprise of his therapist, we learn how the medium itself became a source of pleasure further leading him to spend time online with porn.

Lois Wilson Story - Hallmark Hall of Fame Presentation

The Lois Wilson Story - When Love Is Not Enough

Stuck On You

By Jen Kim on April 12, 2010 in Valley Girl With a Brain
Sex and the City 2 teaches more life lessons. Getting back together with an ex and the reign of casual sex.

Happiness: Putting the Cart Before the Horse?

I have to admit, I'm amazed and perplexed by all the emphasis on happiness these days. I've been reading this magazine for years, I've been following many of the wonderful blogs here on the topic, I've read many of the popular books and followed the academic research. But philosophers still can't decide what happiness is, much less how one goes about achieving, finding, or creating it.

Is Marriage Toxic to Women? Money Matters Part IV

Money, it's a crime Share it fairly But don't take a slice of my pie. Money, so they say Is the root of all evil Today, today, today......~ Pink Floyd, Money, from Dark Side of the Moon Having gone through the benefits and risks of marriage in Parts 1-3 we come at last to "the money." How does marriage impact men's and women's economic circumstances?

The Dynamics of a "Modern Family"

By Jeremy Clyman Psy.D on April 11, 2010 in Reel Therapy
Every family has a dynamic. Three particularly important ingredients to this dynamic - among many others - are assigned roles, inherited patterns of relating and invisible rules. These invisible processes serves as rules to the road of life, informing each member of the family as to how to act, how to respond to others, and what is expected.

Out of the Box

By Richard J. Crisp Ph.D. on April 10, 2010 in Living in a Box
Social categories define our place in the world. British, American, Muslim, Christian, Black, White - these labels are the bedrock of societies and social relations. But their centrality to human thinking can also be a curse. The use of categories to define "us" and "them" can be found at the heart of some of the worst atrocities in human history ...

Are the Fangs Real? Vampires as Racial Metaphor in the Anita Blake and Twilight Novels

They're physically powerful and move with an unusual combination of grace and speed. They're sexually seductive, in a forbidden sort of way, and dangerous-even the well-mannered, law-abiding ones are, at their core, threatening.  They're monsters, ever ready to prey and feed on human fears, if not their lives. Vampires? Of course.

Darling, Am I A Compromise For You?

We are called upon to make compromises in many aspects of our lives, including in our romantic relationships. But whereas people usually have no inhibitions in admitting to the compromises they make in most areas of everyday life, they seldom, if ever, will do so with regard to their love lives. No one would tell his or her spouse: "I love you, even though you are a compromise for me." Why it is so difficult for people to admit that their partners are compromises for them? 

How to have a good divorce and keep your kids resilient

How parents handle a divorce makes all the difference to whether children will show the resilience needed to cope. Here's 8 tips on how to ensure children survive a divorce without emotional scars.

Motherhood: The Shifting Sands of Friendship

QUESTIONIrene,Jordan and I have been best friends since our first day of college 20 years ago. Over the years, we both married (me=happily, her=constantly teetering on the edge of divorce) and had children. I had my children several years before she did, and she was always incredibly supportive and understanding of my new obligations and priorities, while longing for a child of her own. Three years ago, Jordan had a daughter. I have tried to support her in all the ways she supported me though those baby/toddler years, but I'm finding it increasingly difficult to do. We live many time zones apart (different continents) and the onus of our friendship has gradually shifted so it is now entirely mine.

Apprehension as Mother's Day Approaches

In my informal inquiries of individuals and couples diagnosed with infertility, Mother's Day tends to top the list as the holiday that evokes the strongest emotional reaction. So this year I decided to jump into the holiday fray early enough so that we can think ahead about this particular holiday.

Why Your Love Life Is a Version of Adolescent Romance

Why your adult relationship is more likely a version of adolescent romance -- and doomed to fade.

Why don't friends just talk about it?

Dear Irene,When a woman feels that she has a problem with a long-term friend or friendship, why does she not simply sit down and work it out? Why does she prefer to let the friendship die instead of trying to repair it? How can she just turn her back after so many years? 

Yes, Virginia, people with BPD DO have empathy!

By Randi Kreger on April 07, 2010 in Stop Walking on Eggshells
People with borderline personality disorder to have empathy!

Is Marriage Toxic to Women or the Fountain of Youth? Part 3

Is marriage really a fountain of youth? For more than 100 years, researchers around the world have found that married people, both men and women, live longer than singles. In a recent review of 53 studies of the effect of marriage on longevity2 researchers found that mortality rates are about 18% lower for marrieds in comparison with singles and there was no significant difference in that effect between guys and gals. Another national U.S. only study3 conducted over an eight-year period showed that the odds of mortality are 39% higher for widows, 27% higher for divorced and a whopping 58% higher for never marrieds in comparison with marrieds. Controlling for age, the effect held true at older ages for both sexes and was greater for younger men than younger women. In other words, married women tend to live longer than single, divorced or widowed gals. Period.