Essential Reads

5 Reasons Why the Fairy Tale (Almost) Always Dies

Here are five reasons why fairy tale dreams often lead to misery in romance

Are You A Status Seeker? The Chances Are Good that You Are

Exploring how status motivates all of us

Unbroken by Divorce: 5 Rules of Resilience

What's different about the people who are least likely to be undone by divorce

What Do Women Look for in a Mate?

Choosing a potential mate is always tricky. A new research study shows why.

Recent Posts on Relationships

From Being Ashamed to Being Empowered

Have you ever felt judged, shamed, gossiped about, but confused in how to see what's true, false, or what to do next? If you ever felt more than criticized - instead more like wounded to the bone - this is how to deal with it.

Why The So-Called "Marriage Gap" Is Good For Your Relationship

The rise of "delay" in marriage - the so-called "marriage gap" -- is misunderstood. Cohabitation and divorce are not the problem; bad relationships are. Why men and women are rejecting old-style marriage and are open to new forms of relationships that will sustain connection and vitality.

Almost a Godmother: Dealing with the hurt

Dear Irene,I am an only child and have a friend named Linda (who is also an only) whom I've known since first grade. She is due to give birth to a baby girl and two months ago asked me to throw her shower for 50 people with the help of her mother and sister-in-law. I felt really honored and threw myself into it, and it was a tremendous success.

Dealing with an Asymmetric Relationship

Many people do not feel like equals in their relationships. Sometimes this is illusory, a symptom of low self-esteem or a poor self-image, or feeling of inadequacy. But sometimes this ineqality can be real, and a person's partner, lover, or spouse can take advantage of an imbalance in the relationship.

A Clinical Portrait of Excessive Online Porn Use (Part 8)

By Todd Essig Ph.D. on May 09, 2010 in Over-Simulated
The story of Paul and his girls begins to end with a struggle in therapy, a war actually, in which Paul discovers life and the pleasures of living, all while challenging his therapist's empathy and openness.  

Beware of the person of your dreams!

I am sure that the parents of Sandra Bullock and Elin Nordegren (Tiger's wife) are wishing that their children had made very different choices when they decided they had found their "dream" partner.   So, before you get the ring and plan for happily ever after, please consider the following...

What Makes Kids Flock to Nasty Networking Sites?

Formspring is like Facebook, except your name and information is public and everyone else is anonymous. Kids go there to snark about each others' clothes or sexual behavior or to tell each other why they didn’t get invited to the big party. Why do kids do this to themselves?

Dreading Mother’s Day? What To Do About It!

Mother's Day stirs up painful feelings for many of us. Difficult relationships with our own mothers, problems with children, an inability to become pregnant, even marital problems don't fit with the media's rose colored glasses view of motherhood. Whether or not you have children, here are some helpful ideas to ease your way through this day and maybe even the rest of your life!

Women with Infertility: We're Everywhere!

In the last month since the publication of my book When You're Not Expecting, I've been amazed at the number of women who have confided in me their personal stories of infertility: women I know well, women I know only slightly, and women I am meeting for the first time. In addition to the women who had been diagnosed with infertility, another group of women sought me out after reading my book. These women were students, colleagues, reporters, friends, health care professionals, former college classmates, and relatives, all of whom had read my book and wanted my thoughts on how they could be more sensitive to women who have shared news of their infertility. So here's the dilemma -- how can these two quite different groups come together to have a compassionate conversation about the emotional challenges of infertility?

Gaining Perspective from Someone Else’s Perspective

We are, by our very nature, selfish. That's because our primary point of reference for our model of the world is ourselves. If we can step away from the positionality of our ego - our narcissistic delusion, our "I-ness" -- and manage to see things from the perspective of the people with whom we interact, this model of the world, and our relationship to it, can change pretty radically. 

Times Square bomber is Obama's love child, expert claims

Shocking, untrue allegations in the media not only cause irreparable harm; they show to what extent this society has become addicted to toxic information--the kind of media noise that enjoys no kinship with facts or independent values.

Why Love is Romantic

Finally, some true romance! Here was this person, a man I presume, who I came to think of as a modern-day Romeo, pining away for the woman he truly loved.

What Is Polyamory Really All About?

 The question is no so much whether to love more than one, but whether to have multiple partners sequentially or at the same time.

Do you love your iPhone more than your mother?

By Ron S. Doyle on May 06, 2010 in You 2.0
Does our adoration of iPhones and other machines even count as love?  Is it emotional, physical, an evolutionary necessity, a psychosexual substitute?  And can this material love really compare to maternal love?

Passive Aggressive Words in the Workplace

 Is passive aggressive behavior making your workplace a toxic environment?  Beware of these red-flag phrases to learn how to spot passive aggression from an office away!

Embracing Reverend Desmond Tutu

By Eva Ritvo M.D. on May 05, 2010 in On Vitality
 Reverend Tutu asks us to create more goodness in the world.

Dream Wedding vs. Dream Man

When I ask, "What will your wedding be like?" young women will often describe weddings that would take more preparation than the coronation of the emperor of Japan.