Essential Reads

Are You Tired of Being Judged?

We can't avoid being judged, but we can avoid letting others define us.

7 Reasons for Gay & Lesbian Couples to Celebrate

Saying “I do” is a big step whether the couple is gay, lesbian, or straight.

Social Media Cannot Fix 'Being Alone'...Nor Should It

Becoming comfortable with solitude leads to a deeper connection with others.

What's The Most Important Decision You’ve Ever Made?

A 10-item quiz to test how your life choices reflect, and affect, your identity

Recent Posts on Relationships

Marriage and Relationship Education Programs: Do They Work?

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on June 25, 2010 in Living Single
More than 100 studies have been conducted to determine whether couples who participate in marriage and relationship education programs end up better off than couples who do not participate. Here are the results. 

Bull in a China Shop

A bull in a china shop is a risky proposition. But how did it end up there? When this phrase is applied to human relationships, sometimes the bull isn't the problem.

It Just Hasn’t Happened Yet?

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on June 24, 2010 in Living Single
The title of a recently published book is "It just hasn't happened yet: bogus, ridiculous, absurd explanations as to why you're still single and how to deal with them plus a few silly things we do to ourselves." What do you already know about the book without reading another word? 

Pregnancy Loss: How to respond with compassion

So, you have just learned of the pregnancy loss of a friend, a relative, a co-worker or an acquaintance. You want to offer an appropriate response, but you're not sure what that might be. In this blog we'll look at the considerations you'll want to keep in mind as you offer a comforting response.

Shouldn't a sister be a close friend?

QUESTIONDear Irene,Last October I discovered that my only sister, who is two years older than me, has been stealing the money I send to take care of my mother in Mexico. She was managing a property I have in Mexico. The rent had always been used to pay for our mother's expenses. My sister didn't deny what she had done when I confronted her by email. 

Empathy for Al and Tipper

Tough Times for the Gores

Help Dealing with a Friend Who Cops an Attitude

By Donna Flagg on June 23, 2010 in Office Diaries
I love these wikiHow's. I think they offer clear, lucid solutions to sticky behavioral problems. This one is about what to do if you have a friend turn a cold shoulder and give you the silent treatment without explanation.

7 Things I Wish I'd Known 20 Years Ago

My life would be so different if I'd been taught these life secrets early on, instead of having to live my way into an understanding of them (which was not always much fun - and was occasionally very expensive)

Guest Post: Connecting

On a beautiful Sunday autumn afternoon more than a year ago, my husband and I attended a Harvest Festival at a local winery not too far from where we live. We didn't know anyone else there and wound up sitting next to a lovely couple, who seemed to be enjoying the day as much as we were.Over a couple of glasses of wine, the woman and I connected and we subsequently began following each other's blogs. Hers is called Killin' time being lazy ---but my winery friend is far from lazy! Rather, she is quite contemplative and thoughtful. 

When Your Husband Betrays You, Do You Blame The Other Woman?

Do the wives of chronically adulterous men think along the lines of Jane Welsh Carlyle, wife of historian and writer Thomas Carlyle, who, when she was asked about her husband affections for another woman, responded, "People who are so dreadfully devoted to their wives are so apt, from mere habit, to get devoted to other people's wives as well"?

Are You a "Control Freak?" Take this Quiz and Find Out

By Karl Albrecht Ph.D. on June 22, 2010 in BrainSnacks
Psychologists tell us about the "strength-weakness paradox," which means that any trait that's one of your best strengths can turn into a liability or a weakness if over deployed.

The importance of vacations to our physical and mental health

When Presidents take vacations, they run the risk of being criticized for shirking their duties. But there are real benefits to taking a break from your everyday routine.  Learn how to take a vacation that reduces your stress, builds your connections with family and friends, and allows you to feel more fulfilled than ever.

Psychoanalysis 101

 Next time you are standing at the water cooler or coffee cart, you'll know just what everyone is talking about

Passive Aggression at Bedtime

My husband's strategy in the situation was a winning one for both he and our daughter; Hannah thought her Daddy was the coolest in the world and Richard was not called upon to help with this evening responsibility for months. 

Is kinky sex good for your marriage?

By David J Ley Ph.D. on June 22, 2010 in Women Who Stray
One of the wives I met was a vice-president in a significant multinational corporation, the other was a tenured, well-published college professor. And both of them loved to have sex with men other than their husbands, often while their husbands watched.

The Emotional Injury of Distorted Boundaries

 We must understand that our abandonment experiences and boundary violations were in no way indictment of our innate goodness and value.

Never a Best Friend?

QUESTIONDear Irene,I don't know if this is a strange question or if many other women have the same issue as me. I have a lot of friends that I'm very attached to, and enjoy spending time with. I'm not outgoing, but I'm not a shy person, and find it easy to meet and befriend people. I get on well with a wide range of people and have always had plenty of friends in my life. My friends tell me I am funny, clever, good company, a good conversationalist and a good listener, caring, intuitive, generous and make people feel better about themselves. I often receive cards and letters from them thanking me for my help and friendship, so I definitely feel appreciated. Yet at no point in my life have I ever been someone's BEST friend. 

Susan Isn't a "Survivor" - The Power of Relationships

By Margaret Moore on June 20, 2010 in Life Changes
Susan isn't a survivor; Susan is a thriver. And, she thanks God for it every day. Susan is thriving with Stage 4 cancer and is on a journey to live into her purpose.

What We Can Learn About Sex From Tiger Woods

Clearly, Tiger and his family have been through quite an ordeal and this post isn't to minimize or mock their very painful experiences. Rather it's to ask, what can we learn from the fiasco that was his sex life uncovered?

Are Charismatic Leaders Born or Made?

The question of whether leaders are born or made is an old one.  But what about charismatic leaders? There is a belief that you either have it or you don't.   But there is evidence that people can become more charismatic.

Professional Sex, Competitive Yoga, and the Need for Positive Reinforcement

By F. Diane Barth L.C.S.W. on June 20, 2010 in Off the Couch
It may seem odd that I found myself linking a psychological conflict about yoga with a problem about using sex to drain off excess energy. But in a way, both difficulties are about self-esteem, self-care and positive reinforcement.

A Father’s Day Memoir of Gratitude, Forgiveness and Impermanence

I am not a father, nor have I myself had one for a couple of decades now. For some reason, however, this year's Hallmark Holiday has been haunting me, leading me to think about what it is that we take for granted, what we might work to let go and just how precious what little we actually possess really is. 

In Honor of Father's Day: Seeing a Penguin Through My Husband's Perspective

One first-grade animal project, two very different perspectives-both entirely legitimate. How to proceed? What do you do when two people have opposite perspectives on a subject, yet both are 100% correct?  

No More Best Friends - Next, No More Lovers?

By Stanton Peele on June 20, 2010 in Addiction in Society
Kids are no longer allowed to have best friends - next, they'll ban lovers - it'll be like hell!