Essential Reads

Parental Guilt: The Dilemma

Who is minding the children when both parents work?

Single Mothers and Their Health, Around the World

Single parenting causes poor health? 6 ways you were misled

Three Simple Steps to Heal Conflict and Strengthen Love

A three step technique toward authentic intimacy

Recent Posts on Relationships

A secret ingredient for good sex

By Stephen Snyder M.D. on October 17, 2010 in SexualityToday
 Differentiation is hard. One of the benefits of a good enough marriage or any other deep partnership is that it provides a holding place in which each partner can “become more truly oneself.” Differentiation is not easy to describe. Many couples tell me, “It sounds nice, but I don’t get what it’s supposed to feel like.” 

GPS Tracking Kids is not the Same as Monitoring Them

By Michael Ungar Ph.D. on October 16, 2010 in Nurturing Resilience
GPS tracking our kids can harm them. But monitoring our children closely can help them. The two are not the same thing. Children who are well monitored are likely to engage better at school, which means they'll get into far less trouble and stay in school longer. It doesn't mean, though, that they'll get higher grades.

Breaking Up with a Borderline/Narcissist is REALLY Hard to Do, Part 2

By Randi Kreger on October 16, 2010 in Stop Walking on Eggshells
You've tried to make your relationship with a borderline or narcissistic person work. But it's become clear to you that leaving is your only choice. Following is the second half of my article on why breaking up is so hard to do, and how you can make it easier on yourself.

On Average, the Married Chilean Miners Were Rescued Sooner Than the Single Ones

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on October 16, 2010 in Living Single
The Chilean rescue scenes on TV seemed to feature a lot of spousal embraces and romantic love stories. Looking to see whether the miners were overwhelmingly married, I discovered something else: The ones who were married were rescued sooner than the single ones. 

Why You Should Worry about the Widening Marriage Gap

By Christine B Whelan Ph.D. on October 15, 2010 in Life 101
There's a widening gap between the haves and have-nots in America--and this time the fault-line is marriage.

Your Sense of Agency: Influencing Your Own Life and Taking Responsibility

Your ability to influence your own life and assume responsibility for your behavior are important elements in what you bring to a relationship.

Is It Harder To Be a Husband Than a Wife?

There is no masculine equivalent of Brides magazine; it will be a long time before Grooms magazine hits the newsstand.

3 Ways to Get Unfriended on Facebook

In what claims to be the first study of its kind, Christopher Sibona, a doctoral student in the Computer Science and Information Systems program at the University of Denver looked at the reasons why people get unfriended on Facebook.

The Drama in the Chilean Mine

By Ilana Simons Ph.D. on October 14, 2010 in The Literary Mind
 There should be a genre in fiction that covers what happens when catastrophe hits. 

Sense and sentimentality

By Gordon S Livingston M.D. on October 14, 2010 in Lifelines
 The opposite of truth is not necessarily the lie. It can also be another form of dishonesty, namely sentimentality.

Change of Plans? My BFF fell in love with my roommate

Dear Irene,I'm 22, and my best friend Allie and I have been friends for 11 years. We went to middle and high school together, and stayed incredibly close despite four years at different colleges in different cities, and a year in different countries. We have traveled many times together, and decided last year that in October 2010 (post college graduation), we would go on a year-long trip together, working on different farms throughout the United States. I thought our friendship was incredibly resilient, but now I'm not so sure. 

Stereotypes of Singles? Robust. Actual Differences Between Singles and Couples? Not So Much

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on October 13, 2010 in Living Single
Four studies show that a biographical sketch with the exact same information (except for relationship status) is rated more negatively when the person profiled in the sketch is said to be single instead of coupled. However, the actual differences between single and coupled people are few and far between.

Infertility: My Best Friend Is Pregnant!

If you have been trying for months (or years) to get pregnant, the news of anyone you know having achieved this triumph can be a real bummer.  But when the news comes that your best friend is the mother-to-be, there are lots of emotional issues for both of you.  Was hers a planned pregnancy?  Did you hear the news from her directly?  How open have you been with her about your struggles with infertility?  Is she sensitive to your emotions upon hearing her news? 

Alliances and Loyalty – Kids and Divorced Parents

I got an email the other day from a woman who writes about her frustration that her teenaged daughter wants to spend Thanksgiving with her father rather than her. The mom went on to say, "Why, when it was HIM who betrayed me and broke up the family, is she so defensive of him, and I'm cast as the bad person trying to keep them apart?" 

Why The Rise of the Common Good Will Trump Our "Social Psychosis"

By Douglas LaBier Ph.D. on October 13, 2010 in The New Resilience
Serving the common good is steadily rising, and will trump our current social psychosis in personal life, business, and public policy.

4 Teen Suicides in Ohio: Is Bullying to Blame?

By Jared DeFife Ph.D. on October 13, 2010 in The Shrink Tank
Four teen suicides have occurred at one Ohio high school in two years.  A fifth student was found dead yesterday.  The community struggles with one question: Why?

The Riches of Being a Friendly Business Competitor

Close friendships among business competitors can actually result in enhanced profitability, according to a new report from researchers at the BI Norwegian School of Management.

Friends Aren't Enough

By Michele Weiner-Davis MSW on October 12, 2010 in Divorce Busting
Ok, I really know nothing about why Courtney Cox and David Arquette are calling it quits, but that doesn't stop me from having an opinion.

How To Deal With A Control Freak

By Judith Orloff M.D. on October 12, 2010 in Emotional Freedom
As a psychiatrist, I have observed that relationships are one of the major sources of exhaustion for many of my patients. One type of personality that is very draining is a controller. These people obsessively try to dictate how you’re supposed to be and feel.

She asks: Should I throw the Maid of Honor under a bus?

Bride invites me to the bridal shower, the bachelorette party and wedding. Says call Maid of Honor for details. Maid of Honor doesn't call/text or email back. Bride says she is bummed I didn't make it, but I tried to. What do I do? Throw the Maid of Honor under the bus? 

F*** List Fallout

By Linda Young Ph.D. on October 11, 2010 in Love in Limbo
I don't think casual sex is inherently good or evil. But Karen Owen is suddenly a hero to some and a sick slut to others. So when is hooking up with abandon harmful and when is it a harmless choice?

The Great Phone Hang-Up?

By Sophia Dembling on October 11, 2010 in The Introvert's Corner
Is it possible the rest of the world is coming around to introverts' way of thinking about the telephone?

The Sex Superpower of Forgiveness

 A fun game to play with others while waiting for a bus, riding a train or sitting around after dinner is the superpower game - as in, if you could have one superpower, what would it be? Often, people say they'd like to fly, to have x-ray vision or to be invisible. These are all well and good for people who want to be super at fighting crime, but what do they do for sex and love aside from having sex in mid-air (flying), spoiling the surprise (x-ray vision) or being a voyeur in someone else's bedroom (invisibility).This got me thinking about what superpowers might make for better sex - and what we can learn from them. 

The Social Network, 10,000 BP

By Mel Konner MD, PhD on October 11, 2010 in The Tangled Wing
Facebook and Twitter may seem new, but they reflect basic human needs that have been with us in other forms since the beginning.

An Education for Marriage: Pew Report Confirms a College Degree Helps Relationships Succeed

By Christine B Whelan Ph.D. on October 11, 2010 in Life 101
College-educated women under the age of 40 are just as likely to marry as their less educated sisters, according to a Pew Research Center's Social and Demographic Trends project analysis of sixty years of Census data released this week, and researchers are waiting for the "crossover" in the next few years where the marriage rates of these female college grads will surpass those of women with less education.