Essential Reads

What’s the Key Imperative for Lasting Love?

One thing most distinguishes romantic love from a more mature, adult love.

Apocalypse Again: Why Can't We Get Enough?

Unpacking why we love the threat of disaster

How Facebook Affects Our Relationships

Whether Facebook helps or harms your relationship depends on how you use it.

Infatuation, Temptation? How To Think Less About That Person

Telling yourself to stop may not be enough.

Recent Posts on Relationships

Adolescent Romance: Do You Think It Is Linked to Sexism?

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on November 01, 2010 in Living Single
Over the course of the teenage years, adolescents become less sexist. But is that true of adolescents with more experience in romantic relationships? The answer has different inflections for boys vs. girls.

My teenage daughter feels like an outcast: What should I do?

My daughter is 14-years-old. She is very bright and is in the top 1/3 in all her classes. She is also involved in a music group, does drama, teaches music to younger children, sports, dancing and ballet---a general all-rounder. However I worry as she has no close friends and she feels very much an outcast at school.

Can you excuse your extramarital affair or marrying without love?

By Aaron Ben-Zeév Ph.D. on October 30, 2010 in In the Name of Love
Romantic behavior sometimes involves actions that generate negative consequences. Two major means for defending such wrong deeds are excuses and considering the action to be a compromise. I examine these by considering two types of circumstances: The extramarital affair and marrying without love.

Infertility and Halloween: Cheers? Jeers? Tears?

If you are childless and infertile, it is normal to feel emotionally sidelined at Halloween when parents take such joy in their children's antics. 

For Better Sex, Learn to Forget

An exploration of how sex could be different if we could learn to "forget" our past and our failures and instead, open ourselves to pleasure and wonder. 

Welcome to "Adulthood: What's the Rush?"

By Barbara Ray on October 28, 2010 in Adulthood: What's the Rush?
You're probably already shaking your head at the title of this blog. I know, I know, I get it all the time. "'What's the rush? I'll tell you what's the rush," you're probably saying. "I want my kids out of the house and on their own, so I can get on with my life."

Creating a Singles-Friendly Workplace: How Would You Do It?

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on October 27, 2010 in Living Single
‘Family-friendly workplace' has become a familiar phrase. Usually, though, it is implemented with married-with-children employees in mind. What kinds of policies and practices would be fair to all workers? Plus, a reader has a question about a specific workplace issue.

Teasing and Bullying, Boys and Girls

By Nancy Darling Ph.D. on October 26, 2010 in Thinking About Kids
Bullying and teasing may sometimes feel the same to the victim, but they function very differently.

How to Get What You Want (Without Complaining)

By Michele Weiner-Davis MSW on October 26, 2010 in Divorce Busting
There's a difference between asking for what you want, and complaining. Although complaining may occasionally work for you, it's not doing your marriage any favors in the long term. Eventually the other spouse will shut down. The following post walks you through how to ask for what you want in a more productive manner.

Change Forever the Way You Think About Relationships in 8 Minutes

By Mark Goulston M.D., F.A.P.A. on October 26, 2010 in Just Listen
Stretch goals are for sissies. What I like are impossible goals. So what I’ve set for myself in the next eight minutes is that I am going to change forever the way you interact with people.

What Are Good Girlfriends Good For? The Talking Cure Revisited

By Wednesday Martin Ph.D. on October 26, 2010 in Stepmonster
When it comes to your mental health, talk--even if it's "just chit-chat"--is strong medicine

Passive Aggression & Politics: A Perfect Marriage

With just seven days to go until the November mid-term elections, it's politics as usual all over the United States. In other words, passive aggressive behavior is running amuck this week.Case in point: the Oklahoma Governor's race. 

The Haunted House of Narcissism

What's your mask this year? Do you need one? Do you even want one?

Fantasy Lovers

By David J Ley Ph.D. on October 25, 2010 in Women Who Stray
80% of married women will sexually fantasize about men other than their husband, while 98% of men fantasize about women other than their wife. Environment and context has much more effect on female fantasies, than it does on men's.

No Wedding No Womb: Does Focusing on Individual Change Distract from Fighting Structural Racism?

By Mikhail Lyubansky Ph.D. on October 25, 2010 in Between the Lines
"No Wedding No Womb" (#NWNW on Twitter) is essentially a "don't have kids out of wedlock" movement, so why the big controversy?

Adolescence, parental disappointment, and parental guilt.

Guilt and disappointment about their children are often a painful part of the parenting experience. Parents must learn to confront these hard emotions, and then to let t hem go.

When The Love Of Your Life Doesn't Love You

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine told me about a particularly painful breakup he'd gone through recently. His girlfriend had decided she no longer wanted to be with him and had summarily cut him out of her life. Naturally, he yearned for an explanation and some closure, so he confronted her.