Essential Reads

20 Tactics the Pros Use to Deal with Difficult People

Can you reason with unreasonable people?

Empathy for a Child Abuser?

Empathy for the Undeserving Can Be a Useful Strategy for Changing Families

Why We Hate It When People Invade Our Space

John Travolta and Joe Biden put it in the news, but it's an everyday problem.

Does Science Really Say That Hot Guys Are Jerks?

Our new study suggests that better-looking men are more selfish.

Recent Posts on Relationships

Understanding and Creating Your Digital Self

In this technological age, the digital self has become a frequent visitor on the couch.  Let's be honest here, who hasn't struggled with their digital self-identity?

Sex: The Pleasure, Surprise and Responsibility of Seeing Your Partner's Other Side

There are a thousands reasons why sex can be a wonderful source of pleasure. One of them is because it gives you a chance to see a private, special side to another person that few other people in the world may ever get to see.

Guest Post: Meet the Roommate

Having a new roommate is tough. Especially if you are "assigned" to each other and you don't have full control over the person whose bed will be right next to yours for a full year. Trust me, I've been there. I had the worst roommate of anyone I've ever spoken to. Lucky me. 

Second Chances for the Undatable

By Anastasia Harrell on August 20, 2010 in The View From Venus
If you find yourself wondering, "Where are all the good guys?" you are not alone, but it may be that there are plenty of good guys out there, we just can't see them.  Vh1's special Undatable unveiled the 100 qualities that render a man unworthy of a date, or anything more.  We all have these qualifications that a potential partner must meet, as well as a list of qualities that are automatic deal-breakers.  Adhering to these stringent rules, however, is what leaves us wondering why we didn't find anyone at that party last night.  Instead, I argue for the importance of a minor shift in attitude that could mean the difference between lonely nights with a teddy bear and happy mornings with, well, not a teddy bear.

Should You Tell Your Friend That His or Her Partner Is Cheating?

What do we do if we find out a friend's partner is cheating on him or her? Should we tell our friend or not? And why is this question so hard to answer? Let's find out...

Rejection in Three Minutes or Less

Most of us get a little nervous approaching an attractive stranger, hoping to make a connection. Even if you are usually brimming with confidence, the obvious potential for rejection in these situations can rarely be ignored. But for some of us, trying to find love in the singles scene presents a particularly terrifying challenge, illustrated nicely by a recent study of speed dating. 

Be Present

By Ran Zilca on August 19, 2010 in Confessions of a Techie
  Time travel has long been our  technological dream and fantasy.

Practicing Friendship

By Arthur Zajonc on August 19, 2010 in The Meditative Life
Rumi wrote, "Our friendship is made of being awake." How can we learn to be more awake to each other, and thereby strengthen our experience of friendship and love?

Commitment Can Trump Adultery

Usually when we think of commitment, we focus on the outward-looking aspects (such as fidelity), but we often forget that commitment also has an inward-looking aspect—a commitment to our relationship and to our partners, as well as a commitment not to be with other people. Can this aspect of commitment help save a relationship when an affair threatens to destroy it?

When Will We Be Able to Say, without Getting Ridiculed, that We Want to Stay Single?

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on August 19, 2010 in Living Single
The statement that many singles actually want to be single routinely elicits ridicule - unapologetic, unselfconscious ridicule. Why is this? Is it useful to consider the sociological context? For example, imagine the reaction in 1956 to a woman who said she wanted to work in construction or a man who said he would love to cut back on work and stay home with the kids. 

Four Tricks to Stop Obsessing

You know the signs: that sick feeling in your stomach, those tossing/turning nights, food that tastes like cardboard and a mind that whirs relentlessly like an old-time computer that refuses to shut down. When a relationship ends, particularly when you didn't see it coming, your mind is in torment and it's exhausting. 

Five Things an Affair May Not Mean

By Christopher Ryan on August 18, 2010 in Sex at Dawn
Maybe we should consider cutting each other some slack as a way to hold our most important relationships together rather than insisting on a zero-tolerance policy that often results in greater suffering for everyone concerned.

What Difference Do Siblings Make?

By Susan Newman Ph.D. on August 17, 2010 in Singletons
What difference do siblings make? Apparently not a lot when it comes to social skills.

Balance: The Key to Successful Recovery from Alcoholism

 Finding "balance"...a term that sends shivers down the spine of an alcoholic- active or sober. Many alcoholics have extreme personalities that often lack moderation. Therefore, when they get sober it can be a challenge to change their lifestyle to one that is conducive with recovery.

Introducing SexualityToday

By Stephen Snyder M.D. on August 17, 2010 in SexualityToday
The sex therapy field is currently embroiled in a struggle between "Sexual Medicine" (think Viagra) and a movement fighting against the"Medicalization of Sexuality." As someone who is both a physician and a talking therapist, I straddle the fence on this one. But I'm fascinated by it, and you'll find me to be an eager correspondent from the front lines of this battle.  New technologies are already transforming our bodies, our families, and our relationships. Including, if we're honest about it, our sexual relationships.  In this blog, I'll provide PsychologyToday readers my perspectives on what lies ahead, as we move into the sexual future - and as we try not to get lost there.

The Human Animal Bond: Having Kids and Living in the City Make a Difference

As your family structure changes so does your relationship to your pets. Living in the city, having children or being an empty nester alters your emotional connection to your dog or cat.

Life in the Fast Lane, Part III: Romantic Attachment in the Fast Lane

Those living the fast life tend to show high levels of insecure attachment as adults, which influences many areas of their social lives, including interactions with friends and colleagues, as well as romantic partners. In this third part, I discuss the development of adult romantic attachment in those living the fast life and review a provocative new theory that is grounded in evolutionary biology and predicts sex differences in attachment.

Building Inner Strength

By Ran Zilca on August 17, 2010 in Confessions of a Techie
Being strong means having the resources, the mental skills, and the physical capabilities to confront difficulties of all kinds. When you are strong, you have the ample excess of energy and stamina, so that when facing a challenge that depletes you of energy and inner strength, you still have enough left in you to act.

Distance Matters: Surviving a long-distance friendship

Dear Friendship Doctor,I've been drifting apart from two friends over the past few years. In the first instance, I felt abandoned after working hard to maintain a long-distance friendship. When I finally confronted her a year ago, she swore I was still her best friend. I plunged back into correspondence and calls but she didn't reciprocate. In the other instance, I call every month or two, and visit once or twice a year, a level of commitment that feels comfortable for me. But she imagines me her best friend, and talks about seeing me more often (monthly?) and phoning me more often.