Essential Reads

What’s the Key Imperative for Lasting Love?

One thing most distinguishes romantic love from a more mature, adult love.

Apocalypse Again: Why Can't We Get Enough?

Unpacking why we love the threat of disaster

How Facebook Affects Our Relationships

Whether Facebook helps or harms your relationship depends on how you use it.

Infatuation, Temptation? How To Think Less About That Person

Telling yourself to stop may not be enough.

Recent Posts on Relationships

Have a Good-Not a Goods-Holiday: The good life comes from doing, not having

With the holiday season upon us (and retailers lathered up for it), I want to remind us all (as I remind myself): a good holiday doesn't have to be a goods holiday.

Are people with personality disorders responsible for their actions?

By Randi Kreger on November 29, 2010 in Stop Walking on Eggshells
Someone asked me, "My wife acts very abusively toward me. On the one hand, you're saying I should hold her responsible for their actions. But on the other hand, she has a real mental disorder. So which one is it? Does she suffer from a disorder she didn't deserve, or should I hold her accountable for her hurtful behavior?" The answer is, "both."

Adult Males of Narcissistic Parents - The Double Whammy

Though I've mostly studied women, I have received numerous emails from men inquiring about the effects on males raised by narcissistic parents.

Oops! I apologize for not being the person you meant to email.

By Anita E. Kelly Ph.D. on November 29, 2010 in Insight
Why is it so difficult to communicate through email? What can you do to communicate better? Read about several key psychological priniciples that can help explain the challenge of communicating electronically.

Is Marriage “Just a Piece of Paper” Today?

By Barbara Ray on November 29, 2010 in Adulthood: What's the Rush?
Young adults are in the vanguard in carving a new and slower path to marriage. While the Boomers took early steps in changing the path to marriage, young adults have made this slower path the norm, with many options along the way. But the question now becomes: Are young adults unburdened by social expectations but overwhelmed by choices?

What do you consider a 'friendship-killer'?

By Irene S Levine Ph.D. on November 29, 2010 in The Friendship Doctor
There have been times in the past when I've felt let down by this person - cancelling things at last minute, not reciprocating favors of all kinds - but I always decided I would just take the good with the bad. 

What is it About Salespeople?

By Donna Flagg on November 28, 2010 in Office Diaries
Assumptions are often made about selling and moreover, what it takes to be a good salesperson.  But there are inherent problems with assumptions.

Mind, Body, Spirit...And The Pizza Place Across The Street

By Jennifer Haupt on November 28, 2010 in One True Thing
‘Tis the season to think about every day faith. Here's what that means to Rebecca Rasmussen, author of upcoming debut novel The Bird Sisters:

I Can’t Get Enough of Your Love

By Aaron Ben-Zeév Ph.D. on November 27, 2010 in In the Name of Love
 What does it mean not to get enough of the beloved? Does it mean that the relationship entails a scarcity of love or an abundance of love? And if the latter, how can the spring of love be endless?

The Downside of Polyamory

By Deborah Anapol Ph.D. on November 27, 2010 in Love Without Limits
While polyamory sometimes has advantages over enforced monogamy, polyamory can present numerous problems of its own. In the interest of full disclosure to those who rightly suspect that polyamory can exact a price from those who practice it, I offer the following survey of potential difficulties.

Who deserves the DWTS BFF trophy?

By Irene S Levine Ph.D. on November 26, 2010 in The Friendship Doctor
When Jennifer Grey waltzed away with the mirrorball trophy in the Dancing With The Stars (DWTS) finale, it was more than a win. It was an affirmation of the power of female friendship and the important role that our girlfriends play as cheerleaders

Two Golden Opportunities To Influence Others (Part 1)

By Joe Navarro M.A. on November 26, 2010 in Spycatcher
This is the first part of a two part series on the Golden Opportunities to we all have to impress others. Based on Joe Navarro's book Louder Than Words and his Harvard Business School lectures on how we influence others. First part: Influence at a Distance. For business or dating, at a distance is where we really begin to influence others.

Innovation in the Bedroom

By Moses Ma on November 24, 2010 in The Tao of Innovation
Marriage in America is in trouble. But maybe we can fix marriage the same way we fix industry - by using innovation techniques that companies use to invent hit products like the iPhone, and applying them to invent "iMarriage".

Siblings-Good and Bad - Celebrated on NPR This Thanksgiving Week

By Cathy Cress M.S.W. on November 24, 2010 in Mom Loves You Best
NPR ‘s Morning Edition Thanksgiving week series spotlights siblings . 

Wrestling with the end of a friendship

By Irene S Levine Ph.D. on November 24, 2010 in The Friendship Doctor
I am a college senior having a difficult time getting over a friendship with a girl I've known since freshman year. It has been a year since the friendship ended and I am still hung up on it.

Make Your Own Thanksgiving

By Michele Woodward on November 24, 2010 in Getting Unstuck
Look at the legacies gifted to you by your parents and grandparents - around money, around relationships, around body image, around holidays - and decide: "Is this what I want for myself?  Does this make me happy, or give me stress?"  Lovingly let go the things that no longer serve you, and get to happy.  Quick.

No Sex Tonight: the Neurology of Love and Marriage

By Karl Albrecht Ph.D. on November 24, 2010 in BrainSnacks
Years ago I watched a marriage breaking up between two friends of mine. Both Ron and Anna (not their real names) were very intelligent and well educated: indeed both were members of Mensa - the high-IQ society - as was I. But somehow all that mental horsepower didn't seem to help them get past some very basic differences in their ideas about life.

War on Christmas

By Sam Sommers on November 23, 2010 in Science Of Small Talk
Ours is an era fraught with urgent social problems.  That's why it's such a relief to find out that at least one of the truly pressing crises of our time is on the road to resolution. According to recent reports, the "War on Christmas" may be in its final throes, and contrary to the fears of many, Christmas is winning...

10 Things Passive Aggressive People Say

Is there someone in your life who consistently makes you feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster? Do you know a person who is friendly one day but sulks and withdraws the next? If you answered "yes," chances are you may be interacting with a passive aggressive person.

The friendship pause that refreshes

By Irene S Levine Ph.D. on November 23, 2010 in The Friendship Doctor
I have a group of girlfriends, basically six of us, who've known each other since high school. Anyway, I got very close with three of them: Annie, Carole and Beth. I thought we would be best friends forever just like in the movies. 

Does Volunteering Your Time Really Help Anyone?

By Douglas LaBier Ph.D. on November 23, 2010 in The New Resilience
Volunteerism can have a significant impact on the volunteer's own values, relationships and life goals.

This Holiday, a Toast to Cross-Race Friendship

When toasting family and friends this holiday, the likelihood is that many among us won't be thinking about people belonging to groups different from our own. Yet research shows that the single best antidote to prejudice and racism is having cross-race friends. And the benefits extend beyond the friendship itself.

More Reasons To Be Thankful We're Living NOW and Not in the Good Old Days

Vacuums, George Clooney, and votes for women: Isn't there plenty for which we should give thanks? What have I left out? Any ideas?

When love fails us

By John Elder Robison on November 22, 2010 in My Life With Asperger's
Lies, evasions, and half-truths. All deceits. Yesterday’s white lie, discovered, reveals last month’s big deception. What seemed sweet and sad becomes shabby and tawdry. It’s easy to demand honesty, but hard to deliver it, and harder still to know if we receive truth in our most intimate exchanges. Revisited in the light of dishonesty, everything changes