Essential Reads

Social Intelligence and Nonverbal Communications

Why something so simple as touch matters

Does Science Really Say That Hot Guys Are Jerks?

Our new study suggests that better-looking men are more selfish.

Having a Baby: When You Don't Agree

Different visions? Find the problem under the problem.

What Color Should You Wear on a First Date?

What primates can teach us about attracting a mate

Recent Posts on Relationships

Mirroring Care

What I do impacts you and what you do impacts me. Our brains activate when we witness other people's actions in the same way they do when we perform those same actions ourselves. And feeling what others do and feel has a direct affect on our ability to heal.

My clingy friend is getting on my nerves!

By Irene S Levine Ph.D. on September 17, 2010 in The Friendship Doctor
Dear Irene,My best friend has been with me through the ups and downs of life since we were both eight years old. I'm now in my junior year at college. Four years ago, I decided to go to a state school and study to become a vet. I was ecstatic the day I received my acceptance letter but the next day, my friend got hers too. At first I was thrilled to have her go with me, but when I asked her why she wanted to go to the same school, she told me it was so I wouldn't be lonely. 

Trust me I'm a manager

By Jessica Pryce-Jones on September 17, 2010 in Happiness at Work
Employees' trust in their organizations has plummeted with the recession. Here's how their trust can be won back.

Question 2: Does the state have an interest in treating same-sex and opposite-sex couples differently? (Part 4)

By Brian Mustanski Ph.D. on September 16, 2010 in The Sexual Continuum
In his verdict, Judge Walker indicated that the evidence presented in the trial focused on three broad questions. In today's blog I am going to summarize the evidence on the second question: Whether any evidence shows California has an interest in differentiating between same-sex and opposite sex unions.

The price of falling in love: Losing two close friends?

By Irene S Levine Ph.D. on September 16, 2010 in The Friendship Doctor
A fascinating news report coming out of the British Science Festival in Birmingham confirms the tried and true saying: You can't have it all. Specifically, you can't fall in love with a new romantic partner and simultaneously juggle ALL your close friends, which typically average five in number.

The Best Way to Meet Someone

By Michelle Gielan on September 15, 2010 in Lights, Camera... Happiness!
“What do you do?” and “Where are you from?” are so cliché.  To really get to know someone, try a new kind of question to truly discover what he or she is all about.  

Joint Custody with your Ex and the Affair Partner

Life is cruel sometimes. As rough as it may be when your marriage ends against your will, it's a hundred times harder if you then have to send your child back and forth to the home your spouse now shares with an affair partner. One woman told me about how traumatizing it was to know that her baby son was being cared for by her husband's girlfriend - a woman whom she hated and had never even met. It grated against every primitive protective instinct that she had inside.

Question 1: Does any evidence support California's refusal to recognize marriage between two people because of their sex (Part 3)

By Brian Mustanski Ph.D. on September 15, 2010 in The Sexual Continuum
In today's blog I will focus on the first question of if there is any evidence to support California's refusal to marry two people of the same sex.

On Gay Jealousy

By Christopher Ryan on September 15, 2010 in Sex at Dawn
There are many ways to explain sexual jealousy in gay men without resorting to evolutionary theories of prehistoric cuckolding. Loss is loss, and nobody likes it—regardless of sexual orientation.

Who Guides the Next Generation? It’s Not (Just) Who You Think

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on September 15, 2010 in Living Single
Erik Erikson identified "generativity" - "the concern in establishing and guiding the next generation" - as the centerpiece of the middle adult years. Contemporary scholars have looked for evidence of generativity across the adult lifespan, and developed and validated a scale to measure it. Here's how generativity differs (or doesn't) between married and single people, and between parents and people who are not parents. 

The arguments in the California proposition 8 trial (Part 2)

By Brian Mustanski Ph.D. on September 14, 2010 in The Sexual Continuum
Proposition 8 (Prop 8) was the ballot initiative in California that took away the rights of gay and lesbian people to marry their same-sex partner. In part 2 of this blog series I look at the arguments made by the plaintiffs and defendants of Prop 8.

Married to Doctor MacGyver

By Arnon Krongrad M.D. on September 14, 2010 in Scrub, Rinse, Repeat
Why go to the emergency room when there's a ladder in the shed?

What Do We Mortals Have in Common with Elliot Aronson?

From a distance, Elliot Aronson doesn’t seem like a regular guy. 

Making your internet skills work for you

Boosting your Internet self-efficacy can help you gain confidence in your ability to learn from the Internet and communicate online more effectively.

Why Your Teen Insists on Dressing Exactly Like Her Friends

By Stephanie Newman Ph.D. on September 14, 2010 in Apologies To Freud
 The teen who dresses like her friends performs a mothering function.

Message to Regular Readers

By Christopher Ryan on September 14, 2010 in Sex at Dawn
Announcing upcoming events and a place to keep up with Sex at Dawn-related news.

Friendship by the Book: Your So-Called Life

By Irene S Levine Ph.D. on September 14, 2010 in The Friendship Doctor
Released today, Your So-Called Life: A Guide to Boys, Body Issues and Other Big-Girl Drama You Thought You Would Have Figured Out By Now (Harper, 2010) is a self-described guide for thirty-somethings. This is a phase of life when friendships are in flux as women mate, marry and mother...

An HSP (Highly Sensitive) Introvert Survival Guide: Living with an Extravert

By Susan Biali M.D. on September 13, 2010 in Prescriptions for Life
If you're a highly sensitive person (HSP) and an introvert to boot, sharing space with a loud, extraverted person is likely your version of hell on earth.  If you can't avoid it, here are some tips that will keep you sane (and save the relationship at the same time).

Gay Men and Their Fathers: Hurt and Healing

Fathers in many families are mysterious, distant, intimidating figures-even more so for boys with homosexual attractions. They are the family torchbearers of manliness, and, as males young and old know, homosexuality is considered the dreaded opposite of masculinity. 

True Love Waits for Maturity

By Jen Kim on September 13, 2010 in Valley Girl With a Brain
Even as adults, we find ourselves in relationships devoid of "love." How to fall in love the "mature" right away and say goodbye to unhealthy, "crazy" love.

Secrets: Three Women's Stories

By Anita E. Kelly Ph.D. on September 13, 2010 in Insight
Are you stuggling with a decision about whether to reveal your personal secret? These women's stories may help shed light on what steps to consider.

Two Things Will Never Change

By Harriet Lerner Ph.D. on September 13, 2010 in The Dance of Connection
I have a story I love to tell. When my son Ben was six years old, and my first book, The Dance of Anger was published, I overheard him exclaim to a small friend, "Do you know that my mother worked on her book for my whole life?"

Getting together with friends: A simple scheduling problem or more than that?

By Irene S Levine Ph.D. on September 13, 2010 in The Friendship Doctor
Dear Irene,I've been hanging around with "Dina" for 15 years. A month ago, Dina told me she had run into an old friend of ours who wanted to get together with our old gang. She said she would arrange it and I told her I would help by contacting a few people within the group. Dina threw out a date and I told her clearly that I wasn't sure I could make that date since I would be starting a new job right around that time.

Out of Thin Air, Part I

By Sam Sommers on September 13, 2010 in Science Of Small Talk
It's back to school time on college campuses everywhere, which means you can spot the freshmen coming from a mile away. For some students, the challenge of this transition is even more daunting because the distracting whispers of anxiety and self-doubt are even louder...

The Couple Rises: Historian Elizabeth Abbott Explains Why

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on September 13, 2010 in Living Single
Historian Elizabeth Abbott notes that previously, a husband and wife "were seldom the focal point of each other's emotional, intellectual or social life. They had little domestic privacy and rarely spent time alone. Their deepest affections were often reserved for their siblings, relatives and best friends." Abbott explains how and why that all changed.