Essential Reads

Three Reasons to Not (Always) Trust

Trust is not inherently good

Sex in the Head

What may look like pure physical arousal is usually much more complicated.

Obama and Netanyahu in Family Therapy

Mr. President and Mr. Prime Minister, for the sake of world peace, call me.

Recent Posts on Relationships

For Better Sex, Learn to Forget

An exploration of how sex could be different if we could learn to "forget" our past and our failures and instead, open ourselves to pleasure and wonder. 

Welcome to "Adulthood: What's the Rush?"

By Barbara Ray on October 28, 2010 in Adulthood: What's the Rush?
You're probably already shaking your head at the title of this blog. I know, I know, I get it all the time. "'What's the rush? I'll tell you what's the rush," you're probably saying. "I want my kids out of the house and on their own, so I can get on with my life."

Creating a Singles-Friendly Workplace: How Would You Do It?

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on October 27, 2010 in Living Single
‘Family-friendly workplace' has become a familiar phrase. Usually, though, it is implemented with married-with-children employees in mind. What kinds of policies and practices would be fair to all workers? Plus, a reader has a question about a specific workplace issue.

Teasing and Bullying, Boys and Girls

By Nancy Darling Ph.D. on October 26, 2010 in Thinking About Kids
Bullying and teasing may sometimes feel the same to the victim, but they function very differently.

How to Get What You Want (Without Complaining)

By Michele Weiner-Davis MSW on October 26, 2010 in Divorce Busting
There's a difference between asking for what you want, and complaining. Although complaining may occasionally work for you, it's not doing your marriage any favors in the long term. Eventually the other spouse will shut down. The following post walks you through how to ask for what you want in a more productive manner.

Change Forever the Way You Think About Relationships in 8 Minutes

By Mark Goulston M.D., F.A.P.A. on October 26, 2010 in Just Listen
Stretch goals are for sissies. What I like are impossible goals. So what I’ve set for myself in the next eight minutes is that I am going to change forever the way you interact with people.

What Are Good Girlfriends Good For? The Talking Cure Revisited

By Wednesday Martin Ph.D. on October 26, 2010 in Stepmonster
When it comes to your mental health, talk--even if it's "just chit-chat"--is strong medicine

Passive Aggression & Politics: A Perfect Marriage

With just seven days to go until the November mid-term elections, it's politics as usual all over the United States. In other words, passive aggressive behavior is running amuck this week.Case in point: the Oklahoma Governor's race. 

The Haunted House of Narcissism

What's your mask this year? Do you need one? Do you even want one?

Fantasy Lovers

By David J Ley Ph.D. on October 25, 2010 in Women Who Stray
80% of married women will sexually fantasize about men other than their husband, while 98% of men fantasize about women other than their wife. Environment and context has much more effect on female fantasies, than it does on men's.

No Wedding No Womb: Does Focusing on Individual Change Distract from Fighting Structural Racism?

By Mikhail Lyubansky Ph.D. on October 25, 2010 in Between the Lines
"No Wedding No Womb" (#NWNW on Twitter) is essentially a "don't have kids out of wedlock" movement, so why the big controversy?

Adolescence, parental disappointment, and parental guilt.

Guilt and disappointment about their children are often a painful part of the parenting experience. Parents must learn to confront these hard emotions, and then to let t hem go.

What the Brett Favre scandal teaches us about men

By J. R. Bruns M.D. on October 25, 2010 in Repairing Relationships
Why do men like Brett Favre stray?

When The Love Of Your Life Doesn't Love You

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine told me about a particularly painful breakup he'd gone through recently. His girlfriend had decided she no longer wanted to be with him and had summarily cut him out of her life. Naturally, he yearned for an explanation and some closure, so he confronted her.

Is it Time for Masculinism?

By Eliezer Sobel on October 24, 2010 in The 99th Monkey
The feminists have had their say over the years, and most men got the message: It's not okay to objectify females, to speak to them as if there is a microphone nestled between their breasts, or to act as if young women in miniskirts and revealing halter tops are the least bit interesting to us unless they also happen to be carrying a copy of Goethe's Faust.

The Rest Is History: A Lifespan Look At Lost Love Reunions

By Nancy Kalish Ph.D. on October 24, 2010 in Sticky Bonds
Since 2000, with the increase in Internet use, there is an increase in extramarital lost love affairs reported to this researcher. Half of lost love research participants described their marriages as happy, so they did not expect feelings for a lost love to return. Now they have a choice to make.

Do you always wish to be with the one you love?

By Aaron Ben-Zeév Ph.D. on October 23, 2010 in In the Name of Love
Many love songs speak about the lover's wish to be with the beloved "always" or "all the time." This wish can express two different desires: (a) wanting to be with the beloved for the rest of one's life, and (b) wanting to be with the beloved every day as much as possible.  The second wish, which underlies deep love, is more rare and profound.  

How to Build a Positive Conspiracy of Change at Work

By Marcia Reynolds Psy.D. on October 23, 2010 in Wander Woman
Two of the most destructive thoughts women hold are, "I can do this myself" and "I don't have time for personal growth." Success can be so much easier when you find other like-minded women and build your Positive Conspiracies for Change. This post will get you started on a quicker path to success.

Infertility: So Now What Do I Say To My Pregnant Girlfriend?

Sympathetic as your girlfriend may have been to your infertility struggles, now that she is pregnant you know your relationship is facing some unanticipated twists and turns. Both of you will need to recognize the imbalance you are facing, as she is potentially experiencing joy and ambivalence and you are feeling envy, envy and more envy.

What Would You Do if You Knew You Would Not Fail?

What's truly worth doing, whether you fail or succeed?