Essential Reads

The Power of Influence

Want to affect the world? You have more power than you think.

Six Tips to Guide You in Sharing Your Feelings

There’s a time, place, and way to use self-disclosure in your relationships

Mind the Gap

Mindfulness helps us avoid destructive trains of thought.

Your Version of Reality, and Mine

We construct our own sense of the way things are—including our relationships.

Recent Posts on Relationships

Deep Rationality II: Conspicuous Consumption as Mating Display

Conspicuous consumption seems like irrational economic behavior, with shoppers actively avoiding “Best Buys” in favor of things overpriced.  But a series of studies released this week suggests rational underpinnings for this seemingly wasteful behavior.

Unfinished Business - Don't Leave Home WITH It

By Mark Goulston M.D., F.A.P.A. on November 08, 2010 in Just Listen
Recently I have been noticing a recurring phenomenon in many clients and patients with regard to their intimate adult relationships.  It appears that many of them are attracted to or have even married someone who is remarkably similar to a parent that they had "unfinished business" with.

Movement = Play = Love

By Kimerer LaMothe Ph.D. on November 08, 2010 in What a Body Knows
Movement matters. Moving our bodily selves is not just about strengthening our muscles so that we can hold up our heads. How we move is about how we play. How we play is about how we learn. And what we are born to learn is how to love. 

ADHD and Marriage: Use "Living in the Now" to Your Advantage

By Melissa Orlov on November 08, 2010 in May I Have Your Attention
Understanding that people with ADHD often have two time zones - "now" and "not now" - can improve your relationship.

Intimate Justice

By Jacqueline Hudak M.Ed., Ph.D., L on November 08, 2010 in FamilyLife
As a culture, we don't acknowledge the ways in which the presence or absence of racism, poverty, gender privilege, or heterosexism shape and give meaning to our relationships.

The Fine Art of Female Assertiveness

By Marcia Reynolds Psy.D. on November 07, 2010 in Wander Woman
Effective assertivenesss is different for men than women. There is a fine art to female assertiveness. Although you might still be judged negatively by some for being direct and bold at any time, when you are diplomatically assertive, you are more likely to get what you want.

Will it Ever End?

Survivors of child abuse are not the only one's in search of the answer. Their family and friends may wonder as well.

Siblings and Self-Esteem

You can't just lie down and be a doormat.

Is Blaming Parents for "Failure to Launch" a Red Herring?

By Barbara Ray on November 04, 2010 in Adulthood: What's the Rush?
Have we raised a generation too willing to coast along on mom and dad's support? Have we spent too much time raising their self-esteem and not enough time making them face the music? Have we given them everything but made them lazy? I, for one, seriously doubt it.

Guest Post – How far would you go to protect a friend or lover?

By Irene S Levine Ph.D. on November 04, 2010 in The Friendship Doctor
We like to imagine that we'd do anything for our closest friends and loved ones. But "anything" is a huge, elastic concept. Would we really do "anything," or even want to do "anything"? When the abstract turns concrete, things can look very different.

The Mommy Madness Mistake

By Michele Weiner-Davis MSW on November 03, 2010 in Divorce Busting
"The best way to avoid the mommy madness mistake is to remember that the single best thing you can do for your children is to put your marriage first."

Sex, Polyamory, and the Wisdom of the Body

By Deborah Anapol Ph.D. on November 02, 2010 in Love Without Limits
What is the biological and emotional truth about polyamory?

Jocks, Brains, Populars: Crowds' Effects On You

By Mitch Prinstein Ph.D. on November 02, 2010 in The Modern Teen
Chances are, if you attended a public high school in the United States, or in several other Western nations, then you know all about the Brains, the Populars, the Druggies, and the Jocks.

Disappearing Acts: Should you think the best or assume the worst?

By Irene S Levine Ph.D. on November 02, 2010 in The Friendship Doctor
It is hard to know if lengthy silences and withdrawals by friends are because they are trying to dump you or because they are busy and a little neglectful. I especially grapple with this at birthdays and at Christmas time, often continuing to send cards or emails because I assume the best---that my friends are just busy. 

The Social Network, Asperger's, and Your Brain

Mark Zuckerberg may have been a case of Asperger's, but that didn't stop him from changing your and my brain.  Facebook in real life is making us like the Zuckerberg of the movie.

One Woman's Search for Love

By Jann Gumbiner Ph.D. on November 02, 2010 in The Teenage Mind
When I was in graduate school, we were all wildly curious about love and sex. How do I get and keep a lover?

LGBT Youth talk about connecting to family and community

By Brian Mustanski Ph.D. on November 02, 2010 in The Sexual Continuum
My research shows that LGBT youth want to hear more positive messages about their strengths, connection to family and community, and healthy relationships. We set up a video camera and asked people why they were proud of their community and to tell us about their relationships. This is the first video, with stories about connecting to family and community.

Do You Wear Masks?

By Lissa Rankin M.D. on November 01, 2010 in Owning Pink
It makes me realize that stripping off the masks we wear is not a one-time thing.

Two Things You Need (And One You Don't) For A Happy Marriage

If you want to be happy in your marriage, what's the most important ingredient? Is it your personality, your partner's personality, or the similarity between the two that really matters when it comes to finding marital bliss?