Essential Reads

Living With a Control Freak? Some Sanity Tips

Control: Like most things it’s not about what you think and not personal

Breakup: How to Tell If You Suffer from Complicated Grief

The emotional responses to a severe breakup can resemble the responses to death.

When Women Use Jealousy

Surprising benefits of rousing the green-eyed monster

If You Judge People, You Have No Time To Love Them

Missing Out on Enjoying The People in Our Lives

Recent Posts on Relationships

Is it Time for Masculinism?

By Eliezer Sobel on October 24, 2010 in The 99th Monkey
The feminists have had their say over the years, and most men got the message: It's not okay to objectify females, to speak to them as if there is a microphone nestled between their breasts, or to act as if young women in miniskirts and revealing halter tops are the least bit interesting to us unless they also happen to be carrying a copy of Goethe's Faust.

The Rest Is History: A Lifespan Look At Lost Love Reunions

By Nancy Kalish Ph.D. on October 24, 2010 in Sticky Bonds
Since 2000, with the increase in Internet use, there is an increase in extramarital lost love affairs reported to this researcher. Half of lost love research participants described their marriages as happy, so they did not expect feelings for a lost love to return. Now they have a choice to make.

Do you always wish to be with the one you love?

By Aaron Ben-Zeév Ph.D. on October 23, 2010 in In the Name of Love
Many love songs speak about the lover's wish to be with the beloved "always" or "all the time." This wish can express two different desires: (a) wanting to be with the beloved for the rest of one's life, and (b) wanting to be with the beloved every day as much as possible.  The second wish, which underlies deep love, is more rare and profound.  

How to Build a Positive Conspiracy of Change at Work

By Marcia Reynolds Psy.D. on October 23, 2010 in Wander Woman
Two of the most destructive thoughts women hold are, "I can do this myself" and "I don't have time for personal growth." Success can be so much easier when you find other like-minded women and build your Positive Conspiracies for Change. This post will get you started on a quicker path to success.

Infertility: So Now What Do I Say To My Pregnant Girlfriend?

Sympathetic as your girlfriend may have been to your infertility struggles, now that she is pregnant you know your relationship is facing some unanticipated twists and turns. Both of you will need to recognize the imbalance you are facing, as she is potentially experiencing joy and ambivalence and you are feeling envy, envy and more envy.

What Would You Do if You Knew You Would Not Fail?

What's truly worth doing, whether you fail or succeed?

What Makes You (And Me) Act Like a Jerk

Who among us hasn't been a real jerk on occasion? As Robert Sutton points out in Good Boss, Bad Boss, if you can identify the triggers of your unpleasant behavior, and become aware of their influence on you, you too can effectively squelch your inner a**hole.

The Bruised and Battered Love

I was sitting with a friend in the Gryphon Tea Room yesterday, having scones and orange pekoe tea, when she said something that stunned me. She said, "When you're divorced, it you dig deep enough, there's always that tender spot." 

African American Gay and Lesbian Youth and Their Parents

A documented strength of African American families is their close kinship ties that provide safe harbor from the racist seas of the dominant culture. Loving, strong families can buffer the impacts of oppression on its members. So for gay and lesbian youth who are black, the thought of losing this vital resource is particularly devastating.  

10 Hard Truths About Marriage

By Kaja Perina on October 20, 2010 in Brainstorm
#1 There will be one disagreement in your marriage that will never be resolved--and you will never agree on what it is! The earlier you identify and accept it, the better. Encourage your partner to do the same with his or her complaint.

Difficult Family Relationships: Staying Connected with Limitations

How do you re-enter the arena of family relationships and be true to who you are and what you believe? 

ADHD Isn’t Just for Kids – Adults Feel Big Impact in Marriage

By Melissa Orlov on October 20, 2010 in May I Have Your Attention
Many adults with ADHD don’t know they have it, but ADHD symptoms take a toll on their marriage anyway.

Are You Capable of Road Rage?

By Stephanie Newman Ph.D. on October 20, 2010 in Apologies To Freud
What do you do when certain feelings become intolerable? 

Taking a gamble on a friendship

I'm a young minded person and get along with mostly every one. I have a 24-year-old daughter of my own so I made sure to never put my two cents in when this friend would talk about her relationship with her fiancé. 

New Study: Bosses and Employees are Getting Along Better These Days

By Robert I. Sutton on October 19, 2010 in Work Matters
Why Satisfaction and Mutual Respect are on the Upswing

The Arbitrariness of Blame (Part 1 of 3)

Does Blaming Work?        To err is human, to blame the next guy even more so. (Unknown)Blaming others. It can be terribly tempting. And convenient, too. . . .   

Communicating with People with Mental Illness: The Public's Guide

By David F. Swink on October 19, 2010 in Threat Management
Popular media fuel stereotypes about mental illness and dangerousness, because that is how they generally are portrayed on the screen. Our fear of mentally ill people also stems from our own inability to communicate with them and our lack of knowledge about mental illness. Learn how to better communicate with people who may have a mental illness.

The Neuroticism Paradox

Neuroticism is associated with a range of negative behavioral consequences. But are there ways that people high in neuroticism, and their spouses, might benefit? 

Why Do Women Hate and Fear Sexy Women?

By David J Ley Ph.D. on October 19, 2010 in Women Who Stray
Women with a high libido often struggle with social acceptance of their sexuality.

The Most Important Moment in Meditation

The issue isn't whether we get distracted when we meditate. What matters is what we do when we notice.

The False Face of Our Social Media Persona

Social relationships, by their very nature, are transactional. They are richly imbued with nuance, color and tone. Relationships engaged in the various theaters of social media lack these characteristics because social media introduces two parallel and paradoxical elements - false intimacy and social distance.