Essential Reads

How to Put Yourself in Someone Else’s Shoes

Empathy works by analogy, mirror neurons, or embodied simulation.

8 Secret Body Language Cues That Can Control Your Behavior

How others can trigger your senses and emotions.

When Adults Struggle With Their Relationships

At holidays, the focus is on family - some siblings do not get along though

Why Are So Many Indian Arranged Marriages Successful?

The upsides of relinquishing choice, deciding quickly, & lower expectations

Recent Posts on Relationships

Is Texting or Sexting Cheating?

Sexting, texting and porn are subjects we typically shy away from but not dealing with it may come back to bite you.

5 Easy Tools to Resist the Urge of Bad Habits

By Rubin Khoddam on November 10, 2015 The Addiction Connection
Substance use treatment isn't always about one's drug of choice, but it's about behavior change. And here are 5 simple tools to help us learn ways of facilitate the behavior change.

20 Other Possible Reasons They Said No

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on November 10, 2015 Ambigamy
A rejection is not necessarily all about you. Here are some examples of other things it could be about.

How to Begin Saving Your Marriage in Five Steps

It doesn't always take two to save your relationship. In the beginning, it can start with one person making serious change.

How to Help Someone With an Eating Disorder

By Emily T. Troscianko on November 09, 2015 A Hunger Artist
What should you do if you think or know that someone you care about has an eating disorder? What shouldn’t you do? What can you do?

What Affairs Can Teach You

By Robert Taibbi L.C.S.W. on November 09, 2015 Fixing Families
Embedded in the pain of affairs are lessons: 4 things to learn

The Aftermath of Sexting

Compromising pictures being leaked can be one of life's most embarrassing moments, especially if you're a teen. Teens who sext often don’t consider the aftermath of sexting.

How I Learned About the Family Dynamics I Write About

In the comments by readers responding to my blogposts about dysfunctional family dynamics, I am often accused of naively believing my patient's "distorted" descriptions of their interactions with their family-of-origin members. In fact, I have observed these processes directly in a variety of ways. I describe those ways herein.

The Label “Narcissism” is Used Too Loosely Today

Is there someone you know who is extremely boastful, self-absorbed, and is found frequently taking selfies or engaging in self-admiration? If so, do you really care? This seems to be the common understanding of narcissism that many people discuss. But, it’s not defining the real problem with narcissism.

Show Your Kids How to Love

Just being there isn’t enough. You have to engage with your partner in positive ways and in front of the kids, and every now and then it can help to give each other a big kiss that makes them say, “Oh gross!” If your relationship is a little distant, bring it closer, for them if not for you.

What Puts People at Ease?

By Rick Hanson Ph.D. on November 09, 2015 Your Wise Brain
Much of the time the fear we trigger in others is mild but people can feel threatened by stimuli they're not actually aware of.

Does Having a Pet Make You More Attractive?

By Hal Herzog Ph.D. on November 09, 2015 Animals and Us
Research on members of the Internet dating site reveals the surprising importance dogs and cats can play in modern romance.

Mourning a Loved One

By E E Smith on November 08, 2015 Not Born Yesterday
It's hard to imagine now but, as a girl of 20, I was not fond of the man who had just become my brother-in-law. I was even a little afraid of him during the early years of my marriage to his brother. He was gruff, irreverent and cynical, with a wry sense of humor that often left me wondering whether he was deadly serious or only joking.

Do You Hold Toxic Labels About Your Intimate Partner?

I often see an unfortunate paradox with toxic labeling. People who assign labels to their partners are often using these labels to avoid how they really feel—angry or frustrated.

Say No in the Name of Love

Setting boundaries is an art. But it can sometimes be difficult, especially when it comes to setting boundaries with needy people or full-blown narcissists. Here are six ways to stop needy people.

3 Reasons It's So Difficult Ever to See Eye-to-Eye

There are certain biases in social perception – how we see the social world around us – that almost ensure that two individuals will see things differently. Recognize these biases and develop strategies to overcome them.

How Shall I Handle a Possibly False Narrative of My Life?

What to do when you don't trust your mother's narrative of your life.

Loss Aversion and Romance

By Eyal Winter on November 07, 2015 Feeling Smart
Lazy and disheveled ranks as top deal breaker.

Is Marriage the Cure for Poverty?

By Nigel Barber Ph.D. on November 06, 2015 The Human Beast
Marriage is correlated with prosperity in the U.S. So many conservatives promote marriage as a financial elixir. Yet this perspective is scientifically flawed. It also suffers from too narrow a geographical focus on conditions in the U.S.

The Dark Side of Parenting: The Cause of Bitter Parents

By Seth Meyers Psy.D. on November 06, 2015 Insight Is 20/20
Parenting for some is a pleasant and heartwarming experience overall. For other parents, however, parenting has caused them to feel overwhelmed and bitter. What causes bitterness in parents? A few simple factors make a major difference.

Women by Design: Transforming Home, Transforming Self

By Toby Israel Ph.D. on November 06, 2015 Design on My Mind
Secrets produce an often invisible but lasting trail of debris.

Surviving Motherhood

By Romeo Vitelli Ph.D. on November 06, 2015 Media Spotlight
Emotional support from the other people in their lives is often critical in helping mothers cope. This can be especially important for mothers facing special challenges such as being single parents, having children with special needs, or even coping with issues such as postpartum depression. Such support can help mothers maintain their psychological well-being

If You Spot It—Maybe You Got It

What we have found when working with people, couples, families, organizations and groups with the irrelationship model the real trick is to keep the focus on ourselves. We've also found that most people who have thus far been interested in the irrelationship notion are interested because it speaks to them. That is, it speaks to us.

How Can You Make the World Happier?

How might you harness the possibilities of capitalism to help more people in the world to consistently flourish?

Love at First Sight and Life-Long Love: 20 Questions

If you want life-love long, be careful of the illusions trap.

The Anxieties of Dating

By Stan Tatkin Psy.D. on November 05, 2015 The Puzzle of Love
Research shows that an insecure attachment style can make people more likely to stalk a date, and suggests how to help young people avoid getting snared in an unproductive cycle.

Irrelationship: How We Hide from Intimacy

By The Book Brigade on November 05, 2015 The Author Speaks
Wanting intimacy is one thing. Achieving it is another, more difficult, thing. Often, partners use their relationship to guard against the very thing they want most.

Sensory Sensitivity Can Strain Parent-Child Relations

Parent awareness alleviates stress, and helps improve relationships.

Good Morning, Atlantis!

Some reflections on my own moral failings, and a city I have grown to love.

More Sex is Tied to Happiness

By Temma Ehrenfeld on November 04, 2015 Open Gently
Happier people may be having more sex, but don't let sex be a chore.