Essential Reads

Social Media Cannot Fix 'Being Alone'...Nor Should It

Becoming comfortable with solitude leads to a deeper connection with others.

What's The Most Important Decision You’ve Ever Made?

A 10-item quiz to test how your life choices reflect, and affect, your identity

What’s the Key Imperative for Lasting Love?

One thing most distinguishes romantic love from a more mature, adult love.

Apocalypse Again: Why Can't We Get Enough?

Unpacking why we love the threat of disaster

Recent Posts on Relationships

Take the 30-Day Unfinished Business Challenge

By Lee Kravitz on January 13, 2011 in Unfinished Business
Tackling your unfinished emotional business -- even just one item of it -- can transform your life. The author offers the strategies that worked best for him.

Don't Ask, Don't Know

By Sam Sommers on January 13, 2011 in Science Of Small Talk
A few posts ago, I blogged on the psychology of the lie that spins out of control, exploring how longstanding frauds often evolve slowly over time. Well, we might also consider how these lies, ruses, and exaggerations are perceived by the rest of us. Because, really, if a fraud case falls in a forest with no one around to be duped by it, does it make a sound?

Reflections on a massacre

By Gordon S Livingston M.D. on January 13, 2011 in Lifelines
True paranoia requires that we believe in a malign intent to injure us, to render us helpless, to take from us what is rightfully ours, to deprive us of our rights, our property, our freedom

Left out of happy hour

I was so glad to find this blog. This past year, I've gone through a breakup with a group of work friends and it continues to sting. The problem began when I befriended a new co-worker, whom at first I didn't trust.

Learning From Digital Natives: 6 Surprising Benefits

By Melinda Blau on January 12, 2011 in Consequential Strangers
Talking about technology with kid is like talking about sex: You need to keep having “the discussion.” It will help both of you.

An Uncertain New Year – Let’s Make It Happy

By Ana Nogales on January 11, 2011 in Family Secrets
A new year has just begun-a time we associate with renewed energy and hope. And yet I see more unhappy people than ever. What separates the hopeless from the hopeful? Is it within our power to overcome the depressing effects of difficult external circumstances? I believe it is.

When Words Confuse Rather than Clarify

By Melissa Kirk on January 11, 2011 in Test Case
We so often use words to clarify, but what happens when more words just confuse?

How to Attain Real Personal Empowerment

By Guy Winch Ph.D. on January 11, 2011 in The Squeaky Wheel
Psychologists have proposed a new model of personal empowerment which states that true empowerment cannot come from merely feeling empowered but must involve real world evidence of our ability to have an impact on our relationships and social surroundings.

Empathy's magic

By Stephen Snyder M.D. on January 11, 2011 in SexualityToday
All sorts of things can get in the way of empathy. Chief among them is the tendency to deny that "you" are just like "me." Most of us turn empathy on and off, moment to moment, depending on how much pain we can tolerate.

Feeling deserted when housemates move out

For the past sixteen months I've lived with two very vibrant, interesting, artistic women in a lovely house in the Toronto Beaches. Two days ago they moved out and I've been crying non-stop. 

Keeping Your Job in a Bad Economy: Tips For Working Smarter

By Jonathan Fader Ph.D. on January 10, 2011 in The New You
In this economy, many of us are worried about losing our jobs or keeping recently aquired positions. Experts say there are many things we can do to improve our performance and make ourselves more valuable at work.

When Optimists Marry Pessimists

How to understand and appreciate what motivates your partner, and stop fighting over which one of you is really right.

Do family members of people with borderline disorder have enough compassion?

By Randi Kreger on January 10, 2011 in Stop Walking on Eggshells
Online articles about those with borderline disorder (BPD) have garnered some bitter comments from people who have someone with BPD in their life. Often, these comments are condemned or ignored. Should we dismiss these posters or take a deeper look at what's behind them?

Forgiveness is Major Therapeutic Tool With Aging Family

By Cathy Cress M.S.W. on January 10, 2011 in Mom Loves You Best
Often, with the dysfunctional and even nearly normal family, the therapist enters a family system, because the midlife siblings are “ stuck”  around parent care

Dumbo Divorce: An Elephant in Our Living Room?

By Rachel Clark on January 10, 2011 in Marry, Divorce, Reconcile
Why is divorce so accepted when it so often perpetuates suffering? 

After You've Told It All...

By Pepper Schwartz Ph.D. on January 09, 2011 in Love Lessons
Heartbreak, thrills and self-discovery.

Learning from a Facebook tragedy

What would you do if you saw the following status post from a friend on your Facebook feed?"Took all my pills be dead soon bye bye everyone."  

Actual Newspaper Headline: “Married Men Better Men”

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on January 08, 2011 in Living Single
A recent study generated a wave of media attention, some of it under sweeping headlines such as "Married men better men." In this post, I'll describe what the study - when read in full, in the professional journal - really did show. In the next post, I'll explain what I think the results really do mean.