Essential Reads

Nine Lessons from Mad Men: The Emotional Cost of Dishonesty

How our lies hurt us and how to repair the damage caused by dishonesty

A Simple Tip to Stop Relationship Arguments From Spiraling

Identifying and preventing the root of the miscommunication

How Our Lips Speak Louder Than Our Words

When you see the signs, you need to know what to say next.

Recent Posts on Relationships

When Optimists Marry Pessimists

How to understand and appreciate what motivates your partner, and stop fighting over which one of you is really right.

Do family members of people with borderline disorder have enough compassion?

By Randi Kreger on January 10, 2011 in Stop Walking on Eggshells
Online articles about those with borderline disorder (BPD) have garnered some bitter comments from people who have someone with BPD in their life. Often, these comments are condemned or ignored. Should we dismiss these posters or take a deeper look at what's behind them?

Forgiveness is Major Therapeutic Tool With Aging Family

By Cathy Cress M.S.W. on January 10, 2011 in Mom Loves You Best
Often, with the dysfunctional and even nearly normal family, the therapist enters a family system, because the midlife siblings are “ stuck”  around parent care

Dumbo Divorce: An Elephant in Our Living Room?

By Rachel Clark on January 10, 2011 in Marry, Divorce, Reconcile
Why is divorce so accepted when it so often perpetuates suffering? 

After You've Told It All...

By Pepper Schwartz Ph.D. on January 09, 2011 in Love Lessons
Heartbreak, thrills and self-discovery.

Learning from a Facebook tragedy

What would you do if you saw the following status post from a friend on your Facebook feed?"Took all my pills be dead soon bye bye everyone."  

Actual Newspaper Headline: “Married Men Better Men”

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on January 08, 2011 in Living Single
A recent study generated a wave of media attention, some of it under sweeping headlines such as "Married men better men." In this post, I'll describe what the study - when read in full, in the professional journal - really did show. In the next post, I'll explain what I think the results really do mean. 

The Cyberspace Era: The Best and Worst of Times for Lovers

By Aaron Ben-Zeév Ph.D. on January 08, 2011 in In the Name of Love
The cyberspace era could be considered as the best and worst of times for lovers. This is indeed both a happy and a difficult time for lovers-happy in that available, willing potential lovers are all around; difficult in that maintaining a loving committed relationship is harder than before as alternative romantic options are easier to explore and to realize.  

Sibling Dyad Shattering - Superglue for Strongest Family Alliance

By Cathy Cress M.S.W. on January 08, 2011 in Mom Loves You Best
Siblings can align against each other to stop another sibling from doing something. The odds explode - if there are left over unresolved  childhood issues 

Q & A Corner: The Legacy of Distorted Love and Notes on Narc

I have been receiving emails from people from all over the world asking questions about their narcissistic families and relationships for quite some time now.

When work and friendship are a volatile mix

Hi Dr. Levine,I'm 28 years old and have had a major relationship bust up. I worked for someone named Risa on and off for a year. She's a graphic designer with her own business. It was a very up and down relationship. She could be very abusive at times and tough to work with but she had days when she could be sweet as an angel.  

Parents & Children in Conflict

By Nancy S. Buck Ph.D. on January 07, 2011 in Peaceful Parenting
Happy New Year! Is this the year you have resolved to stop arguing with your kids? Are you tired of feeling as though your teenager never agrees with any request you make? Does it feel like your third-grader is already practicing to become a lawyer, arguing and negotiating every request or rule that you make?

Love is Blind…and Numb?: Why You Can’t Always Feel When Love Hurts

By Craig Malkin on January 06, 2011 in Romance Redux
Blinded by the glow of romantic love (or the love of one's children), we tend to miss the faults, the disappointments, the slights—minor and sometimes even major—in the people we love the most. Now it appears there may be a powerful neurological component to love-blindness.

Mindful Reframing: A Pre Diet Plan

By Ronald Alexander Ph.D. on January 06, 2011 in The Wise Open Mind
Many of us right now are starting 2011 with the realization that we added extra pounds to our waist over the holidays and now want to shed them. So what is the key to maintaining a success diet, or exercise regime? Well the first step is to learn how to mindfully reframe your image or thoughts prior to initiating any change.

A Life-Changing Experience

By Jeffrey A. Kottler Ph.D. on January 06, 2011 in Change
What is it that leads to a life-changing experience, one that forever transforms you in a profound way? Self-help books, spiritual pursuits, psychotherapy are all useful but it is through helping others we can not only make a difference in the world but also enrich our own lives in a multitude of ways.

Change Your Interactions, Change Your Brain, This Year

By Frances Cohen Praver Ph.D. on January 06, 2011 in Love Doc
 In the New York Times Op Ed, Saturday, Jan 1, 2011, the preeminent neurologist Oliver Sachs talks about neuroplasticity─ the ability to shape and reshape the brain, even when older.

The Most Powerful Law of Attraction

By Scott Barry Kaufman Ph.D. on January 05, 2011 in Beautiful Minds
The most potent law of seduction is...

How to Say Thank You Without Notes, Quotes, or Photo Totes

By Elaine Shpungin Ph.D. on January 05, 2011 in Peacemeal
Gratitude without grouchiness. No pens, printers or platitudes required.

39 Years and Counting: The Joy of the Singles’ Cooking Club (Part 1)

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on January 05, 2011 in Living Single
If you love food, friends, and camaraderie, and if you would like to hear the story of a club for singles that has nothing to do with dating and has lasted nearly four decades (and is still going strong), you are going to love this guest essay. It was written by the renowned historian Mary Beth Norton, one of the founding members of the club. 

Young people talk about what they like about being "single."

What do young people like about being "single?"  While being in a relationship can be healthy and fullfilling, so can being single. We set up a video camera at the Chicago Pride Festival and asked people what they like about being single.  Here are there answers.

The Menstrual Cycle Affects Daughter-Father Phone Interactions.

By Gad Saad Ph.D. on January 05, 2011 in Homo Consumericus
The likelihood and extent to which daughters interact with their fathers on the phone is contingent on their menstrual cycles. When maximally fertile, women are more likely to avoid their fathers.