Essential Reads

Living With a Control Freak? Some Sanity Tips

Control: Like most things it’s not about what you think and not personal

Breakup: How to Tell If You Suffer from Complicated Grief

The emotional responses to a severe breakup can resemble the responses to death.

When Women Use Jealousy

Surprising benefits of rousing the green-eyed monster

If You Judge People, You Have No Time To Love Them

Missing Out on Enjoying The People in Our Lives

Recent Posts on Relationships

Social Movements Need Strong and Weak Ties

By Melinda Blau on December 05, 2010 in Consequential Strangers
Can the “weak ties” we forge and nourish via social media motivate us to put our lives on the line for a worthy cause?

Sibling Rivalry on NPR- Similarity -Sharks & Cain and Abel

By Cathy Cress M.S.W. on December 05, 2010 in Mom Loves You Best
Siblings fall into categories from best friends to murderous rivals .Brothers and sisters who fall in the Cain and Abel sibling category are called seething or irate and can often trace their contentious relationship to sibling rivalry.

Stranger Hawking Mate-Bait Program Thinks She Knows You ‘Deep Down Inside’

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on December 04, 2010 in Living Single
Helen does not know you or me. She probably assumes that we are single. That is enough for her to presume that she knows what we want "deep down inside." 

Infertility: How to Brighten the Holidays

Many of us find our struggles with infertility are especially difficult during the winter holidays.  So with this acute awareness that the holiday lights seem dimmer this year, I'd like to offer some thoughts on ways that you can turn up the wattage. 

Chasing Daylight: Some Thoughts on Mortality

By Chris Guillebeau on December 03, 2010 in The Art of Non-Conformity
If we were no longer here tomorrow, who would notice?

Men of A Certain Age: The Real Bromance Behind the Scenes

By Irene S Levine Ph.D. on December 03, 2010 in The Friendship Doctor
The groundbreaking TNT comedy-drama, Men of A Certain Age, returns for a second season on Monday, December 6 at 10AM (9PM central). Starring Ray Romano, Scott Bakula, and Andre Braugher, the show really is must-see TV---for men and women.

Responding to Hostile Emails from High Conflict Personalities

By Randi Kreger on December 02, 2010 in Stop Walking on Eggshells
When dealing with a high conflict personality--especially during divorce--nasty emails from both directions are common. For best results, never send one. And use the B.I.F.F. technique, developed by attorney Bill Eddy, to respond to them. Keep your responses brief, informative, friendly, and firm.

F Critical and P Value are Sworn Enemies

By Nathan A Heflick Ph.D. on December 02, 2010 in The Big Questions
Below is a (very short) video I made in which the superhero Mr. P Value argues with the superhero Mrs. F Critical. I hope you enjoy it!

The Power of Authentic Smiles

By Guy Winch Ph.D. on December 02, 2010 in The Squeaky Wheel
Because we view complaints as acts of self-assertion rather than the requests for help they indeed are, we often fail to utilize the most effective tool we have for eliciting help in complaint situations-conveying an implicit optimism about getting the outcome we want by using authentic smiles.

Lousy Health Insurance? Three Questions That Can Save Your Health

As the health care crisis moves from farce to lunacy, you'll have to depend on yourself. Fortunately, there's a lot you can do.

What’s Not to Like about a Rave Review? Missing the Point of Friendship and Single Life

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on December 02, 2010 in Living Single
The New York Times review of Gail Caldwell's book, "Let's take the long way home: A memoir of friendship," was glowing. Reaching for an expression of her admiration for the friendship, the reviewer said it reminded her of a great marriage. That's not the way to honor friendship or single life. 

Too Busy to Meditate? Think Again!

By Ronald Alexander Ph.D. on December 01, 2010 in The Wise Open Mind
The benefits of meditation are many & varied from reducing stress, blood pressure, heart attacks, and strokes to increasing one’s cognition and creativity.  As well meditation decreases our need for sleep by heightening our concentration, allowing us to be more productive. Learn three easy meditation tips to reduce stress & improve your relationships.

Outraged at Airport Security Searches? Tips to Cope with Personal Space Intruders (VIDEO)

By Judith Orloff M.D. on December 01, 2010 in Emotional Freedom
If you want to see people flip their lids fast, try invading their personal space.  These intrusions cause our stress hormones to skyrocket and can affect our physical and mental health.  Blood pressure, heart rate, and muscle tension are all affected. Thus, the public outrage at new intrusive security pat downs of passengers in airports.

Intrinsic Motivation! Magical Unicorns! Serial killers!

Shouldn't you just do some things because you're supposed to?  What about intrinsic motivation?"  Effective teachers and parents increase the saliency of hard or difficult tasks for their students with attentional and executive challenges.

Why Do We Ruminate?

By Melissa Kirk on December 01, 2010 in Test Case
We ruminate to have the sense that we are taking action on a difficult problem, but when it gets out of control, what can we do?

Wise Words From Fellow Introverts

By Sophia Dembling on December 01, 2010 in The Introvert's Corner
A collection of great tips and strategies from readers of The Introvert's Corner.

Helping a 10-year-old deal with bullies

By Irene S Levine Ph.D. on December 01, 2010 in The Friendship Doctor
My 10-year-old daughter has been having a lot of trouble with friends recently. Some of the problems are caused by boy drama, and the "he said, she said" game. Kids have been spreading rumors about her, and I just don't know what to do.

When you've co-signed a lease with the roommate from hell

By Irene S Levine Ph.D. on November 30, 2010 in The Friendship Doctor
My roommate and I have been friends since high school. We've been living together for only two and a half months now. In that short time, I've learned she has mood issues and that she doesn't forgive easily. We had one big fight that I thought we had resolved.

Singles Value Meaningful Work – And Did So Even in High School

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on November 30, 2010 in Living Single
Meaningful work should be one of life's prizes. Imagine working not (just) because you need the money but because you are passionate about what you do. You find your work interesting, challenging; you like that you get to use your skills, solve problems, learn things, and maybe even help other people. 

What Stepmothers Are Stepping Into

Here are the three most important things you should know about being a stepmother.

What causes divorce? And how to prevent it

By Mark Goulston M.D., F.A.P.A. on November 29, 2010 in Just Listen
Marriages end not because you stop loving each other, but because you can’t stop hating each other

Have a Good-Not a Goods-Holiday: The good life comes from doing, not having

With the holiday season upon us (and retailers lathered up for it), I want to remind us all (as I remind myself): a good holiday doesn't have to be a goods holiday.

Are people with personality disorders responsible for their actions?

By Randi Kreger on November 29, 2010 in Stop Walking on Eggshells
Someone asked me, "My wife acts very abusively toward me. On the one hand, you're saying I should hold her responsible for their actions. But on the other hand, she has a real mental disorder. So which one is it? Does she suffer from a disorder she didn't deserve, or should I hold her accountable for her hurtful behavior?" The answer is, "both."

Adult Males of Narcissistic Parents - The Double Whammy

Though I've mostly studied women, I have received numerous emails from men inquiring about the effects on males raised by narcissistic parents.