Essential Reads

Coming Out and Taking In

National Coming Out Day is a time to celebrate people who make us feel like us.

How to Answer the Number One Question People Always Ask

Make your conversation starter work by knowing how to answer this question

When I Couldn't Say Goodbye

My father's last hours

What Drives Your Happiness With Work?

Is your work satisfaction related to your fit to your job?

Recent Posts on Relationships

Do You Really Want to Know What People Think of You?

The idea of finding out what other people really think about you may fill you with dread. Yet, receiving feedback from those around us can be one the most useful ways to develop your potential to its fullest. Test your reactions with this 20-item quiz to see how to make the most out of your supervisors, your friends, and your intimate partner.

No, You Can’t Pick My Brain, But I’ll Talk to You Anyway

By Adam Grant Ph.D. on September 29, 2015 Give and Take
Why you might want to take that meeting

The 3 Dimensions of Communication

By Marty Babits on September 29, 2015 The Middle Ground
The 3 dimensions of communication plus 6 tips to help you make the most of them.

From Should to Could to Wow! Living Your Best Life

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on September 29, 2015 Living Single
In his review of "How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century" in the Los Angeles Review of Books, Hugh Ryan told me what I've been doing with my life the last two decades.

Whatever Happened to Assertiveness Training?

Getting mellow and relaxed in response to stress can be a good thing, but it can also lead to staying in a bad situation that might otherwise be fixed, particularly in dysfunctional families. Cognitive behavior therapists used to counsel their patients on how to speak up for themselves, but seem to have forgotten the "assertiveness" techniques they used to champion.

The Good and Bad of Emotion Regulation Strategies

By Amie M. Gordon PhD on September 28, 2015 Between You and Me
Our emotional experiences weave the tale of our lives. We remember when we felt joy, gratitude, anger, fear, not that time when we felt oh-so-neutral. But sometimes we have to hold back our emotions. People use different strategies when they try to deal with their emotions, and these different strategies impact their feelings, well-being and even their close relationships.

Secrets of a Long and Happy Marriage

By Aldo Civico Ph.D. on September 28, 2015 Turning Point
How do you keep the love tank full? Discover the secrets of long and happy marriages.

How to Fight Better

Recent research suggests that how you start a fight is more important than how you end it.

Do You Feel Like a Placeholder in Your Relationship?

If you suffer from self-loathing or low confidence, you may worry that your partner is always looking for some better—which may be a self-fulfilling prophecy you want to avoid.

Why You Don't Need to Fear Rejection

By Jennifer Verdolin Ph.D. on September 27, 2015 Wild Connections
Fear of rejection can be a major stumbling block for some when it comes to dating but does little to protect you. Rather than personalizing and internalizing this experience, a shift in perspective can help you deal with it better the next time around.

6 Ways to Tell if You’re Dating a Narcissist

While narcissists can be attractive, entertaining, sharp, and funny to watch from a distance, you don’t want to date or marry one. If you are already entangled with one, you may be reeling with confusion, self-doubt, and damaged self-esteem. Unfortunately, the chances of hooking up with a narcissist at some time in your dating or relationship life are pretty strong.

6 Reasons Nice People Say Hurtful Things

By Juliana Breines Ph.D. on September 27, 2015 In Love and War
The internet has recently seen an explosion of “Things You Should Never Say” articles. Why is it that people often say the wrong thing, despite their best efforts and intentions? Here are five potential explanations.

8 Ways Controlling Men Make Mothering Even Harder

Being a mother is the most important and difficult job. A controlling or abusive partner makes it so much harder.

I Want To Leave My Husband And Kids

By Barbara Greenberg Ph.D. on September 27, 2015 The Teen Doctor
What To Do About Your Family When You Want To Leave Home

Why a Code Phrase Can Save Your Relationship

By Guy Winch Ph.D. on September 27, 2015 The Squeaky Wheel
After nine years of marriage, Elisha and Elon knew two things for sure; that they still loved one another and that unless they stopped having such bad arguments, they’d never make it to their tenth anniversary. Here's what happened:

What Does the Family Foster: A Lovable or Unlovable Self?

By Darcia Narvaez Ph.D. on September 27, 2015 Moral Landscapes
Pope Francis said that “family life as the place where we come to learn the meaning and value of human relationships.” The sense of self is built there and carried forward into the rest of life. Will the child build a sense of being lovable? Or will the individual forever feel inadequate, self-loathing or unlovable?

When Love Hurts - The ABC's

By Barton Goldsmith Ph.D. on September 27, 2015 Emotional Fitness
If you and/or your partner are engaged in any of the ABCs of relational suicide, don’t go into denial. Take a good look at where you are and where you want to be. If you don’t like where you are, now is a good time to change it. If you don’t like where you’re going, there is time to make a course correction. It is never too late to have a good relationship.

6 Reasons Why Married People Should Have Better Sex Lives

The belief that singles have more and better sex than marrieds has become a cultural myth that researchers and sociologists are finding to be untrue, and coming up with some hard evidence to substantiate this claim.

The Absolutely Vital Importance of Listening

Do you want to love (and be loved) more deeply? Become a better listener!

To Be More Creative try Being a Little Silly

Everyone can be a little silly at times, and depending on the circumstances, you might be more creative as a result. “Clever silly” ones can bring tremendous payoff, as long as you know how to express them.

Love of Single Life: The Quintessential Modern Love?

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on September 26, 2015 Living Single
At a time when there are more than 100 million single people just in the US, there are still people denying that any of them could be truly happy. Research shows that people get angry at single people who choose to be single. What's that about?

Love is Lovely, but Hate Gives Love its Teeth

By Karen L Smith MSS, LCSW on September 25, 2015 Full Living
Hate is a normal part of mature, relevant love. A love that holds the reality of hate is stronger and can withstand the trials of time in a way that new, idealized love could never hold a candle to.

Getting Over Relationship Insecurity

By Lisa Firestone Ph.D. on September 25, 2015 Compassion Matters
Insecurity, as most of us know firsthand, can be toxic to our closest relationships. And while it can bounce back and forth from partner to partner, both the cause of our insecurity and its cure reside in us alone. So, how can we best deal with our insecurities?

Is it Narcissism—Or Just High, Healthy Self-esteem?

By Caroline Beaton on September 25, 2015 The Gen-Y Guide
How psychology tests are failing us: the data behind Millennial narcissism.

Rigid Gender Roles: Enemies of the New Intimacy

By Randi Gunther Ph.D. on September 25, 2015 Rediscovering Love
Whether in straight or gay relationships, what was once the established status quo of the male role as dominant and protective, and the female role as supportive and adaptive, is rapidly transitioning.

Can Headlines Change the Way You Think About Trust?

What impact do headlines have in influencing trust levels? How are you affected by what you read or hear? Does it impact who you trust or who you don't? Or how you see or interact with the people around you?

Overcoming Intimate Relationship Dynamics

You cannot be happy in love without being compassionate and kind.

Protected Against Presence

Presence can be an idealized—but powerfully defended against—missing ingredient in relationships that work as co-created psychological defense systems, called irrelationships. Presence, the very thing we say and think we want can be a terrorizing force threatening to erupt as love, care and compassion—the very things that irrelationship is built to protect us against.

Is It Time to End a Friendship?

How often do you prefer to hide behind texts or emails when you have a difficult message to convey?