Essential Reads

I'm Having An Impossible Time With A Break-Up

Break-Ups Are Harder In The Age of Social Media

3 Tips for Seeking Compassion When Emotionally Distressed

Why prior experience does not always lead to empathy

Living With a Control Freak? Some Sanity Tips

Control: Like most things it’s not about what you think and not personal

Breakup: How to Tell If You Suffer from Complicated Grief

The emotional responses to a severe breakup can resemble the responses to death.

Recent Posts on Relationships

What makes Seattle so sexy?

The city of Seattle is surrounded by water on all sides, and the topography forms a natural hourglass figure that in the autumn, winter, and spring months is perpetually moist from rain. The lush green landscape creates a feeling of love for and enjoyment of the natural world.

The Freedom to Enjoy Secure Functioning

By Stan Tatkin Psy.D. on April 09, 2015 in The Puzzle of Love
Psychological principles underlie the current political debate over same-sex unions. Like all couples, same-sex couples have a better chance to thrive in an environment that supports their ability to form a secure-functioning relationship.

3 Big Obstacles to Change and How to Overcome Them

By Craig Malkin on April 09, 2015 in Romance Redux
Recently, Justin Bieber’s been trying to overhaul his image. Reception has been mixed, mostly because some people doubt the sincerity of his efforts, but his attempts, as well as the skepticism surrounding them, have highlighted a truth that resonates for us all: It’s really hard to change. Here's why--and what you can do about it.

15 Ways to Share Love in the Springtime

Whether it is real or simply a happy time that enlivens us, here are some ways to take advantage of spring fever with someone special in your life.

Jealousy, Simple and Complex

Simple jealousy functions in many adult relationships as a kind of distance-regulator. When the partners drift apart, the pang of jealousy motivates more attention and connecting behavior.

Can There Be Too Much Romantic Sensitivity?

Sensitivity is often praised as one of the most important pillars of a good romantic relationship. Although this is indeed the case, too much romantic sensitivity can overburden a relationship. How then can we find the optimal balance of sensitivity in the complex romantic realm?

You Want Couple’s Counseling But Your Partner Does Not

By Suzanne Gelb Ph.D., J.D. on April 08, 2015 in All Grown Up
“Should I still come to counseling to work on my relationship if my partner won’t come? Maybe I should just give up. We’re doomed, right?” I hear this type of question quite often. It’s unfortunate, but often the partner who really needs counseling refuses to show up. Still, my answer to anyone wondering, “Should I get counseling even if my partner won't come?" is... Yes.

How to Fix Any Problem: The 3 Step Approach

By Robert Taibbi L.C.S.W. on April 08, 2015 in Fixing Families
While the content of the problems we are forced to deal with every day constantly changes, the basic approach we need to put the problem to rest is always the same. Here are the three steps.

Work-Life Balance Lesson We Learn From Stephen King's Desk

By John Corcoran on April 08, 2015 in Making Connections Count
Most of us struggle at some point to figure out our calling in life. We lose interest in our job or get disillusioned with our career, and we wonder what work we were really meant to do. Jeff Goins once felt that way, but after he found his calling, his writing career and his business took off.

Ambushed by Eldercare? You’re Not Alone

How to handle the multiple challenges of eldercare.

This May Explain Your Relationship Frustrations

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on April 08, 2015 in Ambigamy
Some people need to process, others try to avoid it. Both are looking for ways to feel safe and free within intimacy.

Being the DUFF

What role do you play in your relationships?

Don’t Worry About What to Say

There is almost always a hidden agenda in the use of communication techniques.

We Break Our Own Hearts

By Billi Gordon Ph.D. on April 07, 2015 in Obesely Speaking
Our perception is our worst enemy in love and addictive behaviors.

Looking in the Cultural Mirror at 100, the Top 10

Five years ago, I began writing pieces for Looking in the Cultural Mirror. While psychology may define itself as the science of behavior, when it comes to people it often seems more like the science of American behavior than of human behavior everywhere. This, my 100th piece, discusses the blog’s background and aims. It offers links to the most popular 10.

The Four Types of Attraction

By Jen Kim on April 07, 2015 in Valley Girl With a Brain
You know the story: Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Boy and girl have their happily ever after—well at least those relationships that don't end in divorce do. Every part makes sense except for boy falls in love with girl. Why her? Why not another girl? The answer is simple: Attraction. Naturally my next question is: What makes someone attractive?

Uncontested Divorce Can Improve a Relationship

By Wendy Paris on April 07, 2015 in Splitopia
New legal processes can improve a relationhip on the other side of marriage. Some of the most exciting innovations in divorce are coming from the legal professionals.

Everything Ends Up as Pornography

By Steve Albrecht DBA on April 07, 2015 in The Act of Violence
Internet access to pornography is negatively reshaping dating relationships Millennials have with each other.

The Art of Breaking Up

An example of how to apply creative thinking to breaking up with someone

Do We Necessarily Need to Be Social Animals?

By Marty Nemko Ph.D. on April 06, 2015 in How To Do Life
An internal debate on how social to be, in and outside of work.

The Wisdom Behind the Saying “Get Some Perspective?”

Maintaining a new habit becomes easier when people ask themselves why they are doing an activity rather than how they are doing it.

How Jealousy Can Poison a Friendship

The people, places, and things that cause you to be jealous of another tell you more about yourself than you might realize.

7 Signs of People With Integrity

By Seth Meyers Psy.D. on April 06, 2015 in Insight Is 20/20
Some very basic signs of integrity are dreadfully rare - see my reference to physicians - but the good news about integrity is that we're not born with or without it, so we can change how much integrity we show in everyday life. Check out these seven examples of integrity and ask yourself how often you see these signs in everyday life.

An Open Letter to Parents Who Let Their Kids Drink at Home

What To Do About Letting Your Teens Drink At Home

7 Types of Toxic Bosses

What type of toxic behaviors does your boss exhibit? Narcissism? Bullying? Gossiping? Here are 7 types with tips for making the best of a toxic situation.

Promiscuous College Students Have MORE Friends

By Zhana Vrangalova Ph.D. on April 06, 2015 in Strictly Casual
Promiscuity is highly stigmatized in our culture and we often believe that promiscuous people are socially ostracized and lonely. But while slut-shaming can be a serious problem and promiscuous people suffer more interpersonal discrimination and victimization, a new study shows they actually have more friends and feel less lonely.

Adolescence and Making Parents Proud

While the attached child tends to be happy to make parents proud, the detached adolescent can be more ambivalent about being a source of parental pride.

A Heady Issue

By Dr. Jenni Ogden Ph.D. on April 05, 2015 in Trouble in Mind
The announcement that a human head transplant may be as close as 2017 raises many fascinating issues, quite apart from the technical feasibility of the surgical and medical problems inherent in such a procedure. Who are you—your body or your head (with face attached)? Would a brain transplant be less traumatic for families than a head (with brain inside) transplant?

Deployment Stories: Understanding Military Family Life

A new relationship. A long deployment. Will it Last?