Essential Reads

Parental Guilt: The Dilemma

Who is minding the children when both parents work?

Single Mothers and Their Health, Around the World

Single parenting causes poor health? 6 ways you were misled

Three Simple Steps to Heal Conflict and Strengthen Love

A three step technique toward authentic intimacy

Recent Posts on Relationships

Butts and Noses: Secrets and Lessons from Dog Parks

By Marc Bekoff Ph.D. on May 16, 2015 in Animal Emotions
Dog parks are gold mines of information about the behavior of dogs and humans. In this brief essay I consider a number of common questions and provide "quick answers" and many different references to which readers can go. While we know a lot about dogs there also are many holes in the database despite claims to the contrary. There are numerous projects waiting to be done.

Have You Ever Been Told You Were Needy?

Oftentimes, needy is about reacting to the other—feeling neither heard nor understood.

If You Love Something, Set It Free

“If you love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be.” What is behind this old saying? Some interpret it as a description of fate. Only fate can determine whether a relationship was meant to be. But a more plausible interpretation turns on your behavior in relationships.

A Crash Course on Gender Differences - Session 2

By Eyal Winter on May 16, 2015 in Feeling Smart
"sperm competition" is a major force that shaped men and women differently

Why Kids Hit Siblings and How to Help Them Stop

Any child who repeatedly hits is pushing feelings down inside, but that means he's pushing away his good feelings, too. He disconnects from us. His cup is empty, but filling it is tough because he can't take in our love. So we have to build trust, safety and connection, and then we have to help him with his tangled up feelings.

The Failure of Child-Centered Parenting

Parents love their children. So why wouldn't they want to be child-centered?

Katharine McPhee: Can You Stay Friends With an Ex?

By Jane Greer Ph.D. on May 15, 2015 in Shrink Wrap
Does staying friends mix with breakups?

How to Cope With the Envy of Others

By Sheila Kohler on May 15, 2015 in Dreaming for Freud
My mother was one of four children, three girls and a boy. They came from a modest home. She was the only one of the three girls to marry a wealthy man, twenty years older than she. He lived in a splendid house with fourteen acres of garden, a pool, tennis court, and even a nine hole golf course all kept up by an army of servants.

Have You Told You Lately That You Love You?

By Hal Mathew on May 15, 2015 in Unagoraphobic
"Let's vase it, you're really a lovable person and so are you."

A Lesson From Junior High Exile

By Kaja Perina on May 14, 2015 in Brainstorm
The inner voice is both symptom and salve, partly indicating what you believe about yourself and partly indoctrinating you into a way of thinking, as I discovered in a middle school library long ago.

Good Enough Sex vs. Perfect Individual Sex Performance

Sex does not equal intercourse and intercourse and orgasm is not a pass-fail sex test.

Doctor-Patient Communications are Out of Whack

Given the high-stakes of medical testing and treatment, the doctor-patient relationship is shaped to varying degrees by apprehension and fretfulness for both parties involved. When there is irrelationship between doctor and patient, it is more likely that there will be irrelationship between the healthcare system and everyone else.

When Someone You Love Has Mental Illness

In honor of Mental Health Month, we explore how to advocate for your loved one with mental illness.

The Critical Difference Between Explanations and Excuses

Explanations help you learn from your mistakes. Excuses will damage your relationships and sabotage your chances of success.

My Design Psychology Career: 'Art + Science' = True Love

By Toby Israel Ph.D. on May 14, 2015 in Design on My Mind
DESIGN PSYCHOLOGY offers a better way to finally bridge the gap between 'human factors' THINKING and design PRACTICE.

How To Let Hope and Time Guide You Through Depression

When depression becomes your familiar state, it can be scary to wade into the uncharted territory of feeling better.

Why Shouldn’t We Use Punishment toTeach A Dog Not To Jump Up

There needs to be trust in our relationships with our pets.

Compassion: Living, Loving, and Dying

Compassion, which we so often show towards strangers, can sometimes take a back seat with those we love. Yet in society today, we need compassion, for those in our homes, in nursing facilities, and in hospitals.

Infidelity Goes Public

In 2001, entrepreneur Noel Biderman launched Ashley Madison, a dating/hookup website designed not to help single people meet, date and potentially fall in love, but to help people in established relationships engage in sexual infidelity.

How Can You Tell if Your Loved One Is Jealous?

You know you've done it - peeped at your significant other's open Facebook messenger - who hasn't ? What happens when what you see makes you jealous? Do you confront them? Do you cyberstalk the person who sent the message? Would an emoticon included in the message make you respond differently? Do women and men react differently? Recent answers to these questions and more!

After the Happily Ever After

Falling in love is often easier than staying in love, but few of us understand how to change that. This post outlines my work with a couple on the brink of calling it quits, feeling there is no tunnel, they wonder how they can see the light? Using principles of Emotionally Focused Therapy this post examines where we go wrong in love and how to begin to fix it.

The Definitive Way To Respond to Others' Mistakes

By Emma M. Seppälä Ph.D. on May 13, 2015 in Feeling It
Mistakes happen. The question is - how should we respond? Research shows that compassion will help us come out ahead.

Should You Confront Your Family?

A child’s desperate need for nurture can drive them to repeat any behavior that appears to get it. Whatever relieved pain in your youth built neural pathways that tell you how to feel good today. You can end up with a self-destructive pattern that’s hard to make sense of. Talking about it breaks the spell, and builds a healthy skill to replace it.

Are We Attracted to People Who Look Like Us?

Do opposites attract? Apparently not. According to recent research, we are attracted to people who resemble our parents or ourselves.

Relationship Roadblock? Define Your Values

It's easy for couples to hit roadblocks that turn into power struggles and reactions to control. Side-step it by talking about your values and what's really important to you

What is Relationship Sanity?

Insanity is defined as repeating the same behavior and expecting different results. But how might we broach a definition of relational sanity? If we accept a simple and straightforward definition of sanity as "soundness of mind," could we say that experiencing ourselves as being loving and lovable is a (if not the) definition of relational/relationship sanity?

A Workover: A Statistician Isn't Feeling the Love

By Marty Nemko Ph.D. on May 13, 2015 in How To Do Life
Advice I gave to a caller to my NPR-San Francisco radio program.

I'm Caught In A Love Triangle

What To Do About Love Triangles

Break the Self-Betrayal Habit

By Kimberly Key on May 12, 2015 in Counseling Keys
People generally fear the disapproval of others—society, family, a first crush, bullies, or fear being different and alone. To compensate, sometimes people will work harder to acquire money and possessions, sex, love, food, alcohol, drugs, constant relocating and starting over, and/or isolating. Here is what you can do to identify and heal the source so many bad habits.

Sibling Revelry

The qualitative gains of sibling relationships beg the question, “Do friendships forged at summer camp elicit the same positive outcomes?”