Essential Reads

Nine Lessons from Mad Men: The Emotional Cost of Dishonesty

How our lies hurt us and how to repair the damage caused by dishonesty

A Simple Way to Stop Relationship Arguments From Spiraling

First thing's first: Are you even fighting about the same thing?

How Our Lips Speak Louder Than Our Words

When you see the signs, you need to know what to say next.

Recent Posts on Relationships

How Our Lips Speak Louder Than Our Words

No one can read minds, but you can come close by observing nonverbal gestures.

You live together, but you aren’t even engaged?

Living together before marriage is not uncommon, but living together before engagement may spark feelings of uncertainty. New research studied non-engaged couples living together and what topics/situations spark uncertainty.

Clergy as Counselor

Clergy are usually the first to know when painful psychological problems come up for people. Michelle Friedman, MD helps us understand the value of religious leadership and what clergy need to learn to fulfill their calling. Good counseling, after all, is also a Godsend. But, it often requires extra training.

Are Teens Going Online to Form Romantic Relationships?

By Michele Ybarra MPH, Ph.D. on May 18, 2015 in Connected
Many teens use the Internet to make new friends, but are today's teenagers also going online to find romantic partners? Moreover, do lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) teens use the Internet in different ways than non-LGBTQ teens when it comes to finding romantic partners? These questions and more answered in our new infographic.

Leaders, Followers, and Trust

Actions speak louder than words, but words provide the backdrop for how actions are judged. How is that measurement for you? What impact is your word-action alignment having on your ability to build trust with those you lead?

Is There Ever Just One Side To A Story?

By Allison Carmen on May 18, 2015 in The Gift of Maybe
Sometimes it's hard to imagine how someone else could have another perspective when we feel so right about how we perceive a situation. But if we are willing to pause and think about why the other person feels the way that they do, we might open our hearts a bit and realize MAYBE there is more to the situation than meets the eye.

Can Snapchat Cause Jealousy?

By Martin Graff Ph.D. on May 18, 2015 in Love, Digitally
Snapchat used for sexting Participants used Snapchat more for flirting

Lack of Employee Recognition is a Management Epidemic

By Victor Lipman on May 18, 2015 in Mind of the Manager
According to a new survey, only 20% of employees feel "strongly valued" at work. 80% feel "poorly to moderately valued."

What It Takes for High School In-Love Relationships to Last

Young people who fall in-love and work to turn it into lasting love can learn some mature communication skills that will benefit them later on, in this relationship if it holds, or in another if it does not.

The Six Best Tips to Beat Loneliness

Are you hungry for love? These six tips will help you create the intimacy you desire, and also show you how to avoid toxic affection.

Singles in Finland – No Shrinking Violets!

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on May 17, 2015 in Living Single
Finland is a small country with a very big place for single people. An astonishing 42 percent of all households in Finland are comprised of single people living alone (and not all single people live alone). Here's what they say they need and deserve.

I Have To Leave My Kids:Help

What To Do When You Feel Trapped At Home

Reassessing Asperger's

A person with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) has difficulty with Theory of Mind: our ability to appreciate another person's point of view. But AS people can be very adept at noticing what people think and feel about them. This is a different perspective on perspective: that we are more interested in what people think or feel about us and later about what they think or feel.

“Writing is a Job” and Other Myths That Limit Your Success

This is not your mother's writing career. Here's how Gen Y writers do it.

Can Money Create Inequality in Your Relationship?

Combining households does not always entail pooling income. Which couples are most likely to income-pool and what are the consequences of their money management decisions for within-household differences in economic well-being and for relationship satisfaction? Are differences in money management driven by pragmatic concerns or by beliefs about gender, family and fairness?

How to Be Empathetic

“All you ever wants to do is try to fix things.” “You just don't get it.” Judgments like these and countless others verbalized or thought in the context of interpersonal relationships point to one popular problem: the lack of empathy for the other. This blog provides nine guidelines for addressing this block to successful relationships.

What to Do When You Hate Your Partner’s Pet

By Guy Winch Ph.D. on May 17, 2015 in The Squeaky Wheel
You might love the new man or woman in your life but what do you do when you can't stand their pet?

Butts and Noses: Secrets and Lessons from Dog Parks

By Marc Bekoff Ph.D. on May 16, 2015 in Animal Emotions
Dog parks are gold mines of information about the behavior of dogs and humans. In this brief essay I consider a number of common questions and provide "quick answers" and many different references to which readers can go. While we know a lot about dogs there also are many holes in the database despite claims to the contrary. There are numerous projects waiting to be done.

Have You Ever Been Told You Were Needy?

Oftentimes, needy is about reacting to the other—feeling neither heard nor understood.

If You Love Something, Set It Free

“If you love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be.” What is behind this old saying? Some interpret it as a description of fate. Only fate can determine whether a relationship was meant to be. But a more plausible interpretation turns on your behavior in relationships.

A Crash Course on Gender Differences - Session 2

By Eyal Winter on May 16, 2015 in Feeling Smart
"sperm competition" is a major force that shaped men and women differently

Why Kids Hit Siblings and How to Help Them Stop

Any child who repeatedly hits is pushing feelings down inside, but that means he's pushing away his good feelings, too. He disconnects from us. His cup is empty, but filling it is tough because he can't take in our love. So we have to build trust, safety and connection, and then we have to help him with his tangled up feelings.

The Failure of Child-Centered Parenting

Parents love their children. So why wouldn't they want to be child-centered?

Katharine McPhee: Can You Stay Friends With an Ex?

By Jane Greer Ph.D. on May 15, 2015 in Shrink Wrap
Does staying friends mix with breakups?

How to Cope With the Envy of Others

By Sheila Kohler on May 15, 2015 in Dreaming for Freud
My mother was one of four children, three girls and a boy. They came from a modest home. She was the only one of the three girls to marry a wealthy man, twenty years older than she. He lived in a splendid house with fourteen acres of garden, a pool, tennis court, and even a nine hole golf course all kept up by an army of servants.

Have You Told You Lately That You Love You?

By Hal Mathew on May 15, 2015 in Unagoraphobic
"Let's vase it, you're really a lovable person and so are you."

A Lesson From Junior High Exile

By Kaja Perina on May 14, 2015 in Brainstorm
The inner voice is both symptom and salve, partly indicating what you believe about yourself and partly indoctrinating you into a way of thinking, as I discovered in a middle school library long ago.

Good Enough Sex vs. Perfect Individual Sex Performance

Sex does not equal intercourse and intercourse and orgasm is not a pass-fail sex test.

Doctor-Patient Communications are Out of Whack

Given the high-stakes of medical testing and treatment, the doctor-patient relationship is shaped to varying degrees by apprehension and fretfulness for both parties involved. When there is irrelationship between doctor and patient, it is more likely that there will be irrelationship between the healthcare system and everyone else.

When Someone You Love Has Mental Illness

In honor of Mental Health Month, we explore how to advocate for your loved one with mental illness.