Essential Reads

Departing Earth

What does it say to leave your home planet forever?

Three Reasons to Not (Always) Trust

Trust is not inherently good

Sex in the Head

What may look like pure physical arousal is usually much more complicated.

Obama and Netanyahu in Family Therapy

Mr. President and Mr. Prime Minister, for the sake of world peace, call me.

Recent Posts on Relationships

Yet Another Study Reporting Loneliness Can Kill You…

By Sean Seepersad Ph.D. on March 24, 2015 in Web of Loneliness
Apparently the media have long-term memory loss. Every time another study comes out showing that loneliness is indeed deadly, they jumps on it like it was not something we knew before. But I guess you would expect that with a topic like loneliness. After all, who remembers anything about loneliness?

Meeting Your Conditions for Sex

By Isadora Alman MFT on March 24, 2015 in Sex & Sociability
Not having your conditions for good sex met is a frequent cause of failed erections and no orgasms.

Resilience: 4 Ways to Move Forward After Time Stands Still

Resiliency is a gift, but in some ways it is an art that can be cultivated.

Principles of Parting

By Wendy Paris on March 24, 2015 in Splitopia
Create principles of parting to help you adhere to your values, manifest your strengths and move through divorce more smoothly.

How to Override the Assumptions Others Make About You

Assumptions come in many varieties, but two of the most powerful and pervasive of these are confirmation bias and the primacy effect.

Who Needs Marriage?

By Renee Garfinkel Ph.D. on March 24, 2015 in Time Out
Diversity, inequality and social change are an important context in which to view the decline in marriage and other changes in American family life.

We Really Do Die Alone

By Michael Friedman Ph.D. on March 24, 2015 in Brick by Brick
When working to improve public health, there are often many things that we simply can't change. Social isolation has proven to be a robust and significant risk factor of poor health and early mortality. And there is something we can do about it.

The Tolerable Distance of Closeness

Being physically close to your lover is central to romantic love. Indeed, temporal and geographical closeness typically increases emotional closeness, and this often makes distance seem intolerable. Some kind of distance, however, must remain even between two lovers. What is the nature of such distance, and is it indeed intolerable?

You Can't Have Real Intimacy Without This

Being human means being vulnerable. But oftentimes we try to control love and intimacy, not realizing that true intimacy can only arise as we develop the awareness to notice and the courage to embrace our vulnerabilities. Our task is not to transcend our humanity or take flight into a spiritual self-image, but rather to engage with vulnerability in a skillful, gentle way.

Do As I Say: Be Oppositional!

Oppositional behavior by children would seem to run counter to arguments in my previous posts that family members often do what they think their families want them to, even at great personal sacrifice. But oppositionality can be more apparent than real. People often act that way to accomodate what they perceive their parents to want and need from them.

The New Adulthood

By Steven Mintz Ph.D. on March 23, 2015 in The Prime of Life
The challenge: To lead a life without well-define norms, roles, and expectations.

The Bourgeois Revolution

By Steven Mintz Ph.D. on March 23, 2015 in The Prime of Life
Many of our most powerful fantasies and expectations about marriage and family life emerged two centuries ago.

Setting Goals As a Couple Gets Results & Builds Your Bond

Creating goals as a couple is one of the most powerful and connecting things you can do. Have fun with it and see where it takes you, there is nothing better than sharing your success with someone you love.

Is A Bad MarrIage Dangerous To Your Health?

Is an alienated spouse a matter of life or death?

When Words Are Weapons: 10 Responses Everyone Should Avoid

By Peg Streep on March 23, 2015 in Tech Support
We often wrongly discount the effect of emotional abuse that's unaccompanied by the physical component. But words can and do hurt. What you need to realize so that your vocabulary doesn't become an arsenal.

Polyamorous at 27/Paleo/South Africa

By Christopher Ryan on March 22, 2015 in Sex at Dawn
How do you tell Mom you're polyamorous?

True Love or Outdated Obligation?

When you feel yourself falling out of love, here are three questions that might help you determine the long-term prognosis for the relationship.

Coming Out as Polyamorous, Part II

This blog explores strategies for coming out to families, friends, and kids about being polyamorous.

Signs You're Taken for Granted

By Kimberly Key on March 21, 2015 in Counseling Keys
Don't settle. Love exists. Test to tell if you're not getting the nurturing you need.

Rejection and Dating

Don't take rejection personally is easier said that done, but it CAN be done!

Why John Hughes Still Matters

Filmmaker John Hughes died unexpectedly in 2009 at the age of 59, yet his movies remain staples of teenage angst and adolescent transition still relevant today. Kids of the 80s (now in their 40s) identified with these characters, and the movies resonate as nostalgic outlets for them.

Collaboration, Willingness, and Leadership

Certainly, those of us who want to put collaboration at the center of how we function are swimming upstream. What’s most needed, in my mind, is the empowerment of all to be able to express their needs and perspectives and, simultaneously, be interested in the needs and perspectives of others and in finding a solution that works for all.

Try These Simple One Minute Relationship Boosters

By Alice Boyes Ph.D. on March 20, 2015 in In Practice
Super quick tips to re-up that lovin’ feeling.

10 Things Your Psychology Professors Want You to Know

An education in psychology is enormous - including information on such diverse topics ranging from how infants perceive shapes to how rats learn to complete mazes - and more. Way more. The list found here distills a traditional education in psychology to 10 things that psychology professors really want their students to walk away with.

Overcoming Relationship Anxiety and Feeling Good About It

By Hal Shorey Ph.D. on March 19, 2015 in The Freedom to Change
Worrying about your relationships all the time and wondering if you are going to be marginalized or rejected is no fun. If you have an anxious attachment style then you know this all to well. The good news is that now you can learn to override your automatic emotional responses and have more positive experiences in relationships.

“I Need a Do-over!” 5 Ways to Fix Relationship Missteps

By Meg Selig on March 19, 2015 in Changepower
So you were a doormat or a bully and you regret it. There's a do-over for that! Try these 5 assertive scripts that will mend your relationship and restore your confidence.

Do You Like Your Sister?

Sympathy, compassion, understanding, respect, generosity and a willingness to forgive are essential features of every important relationship, including ones between members of an immediate family.

The Blissful Torture of Unrequited Love

Whether fast or slow, it comes on hard—as powerful as a bludgeon, but one covered in the softest velvet. It’s two-faced as well, like an optical illusion. And it’s also supremely paradoxical. How can an unreturned love engender such ecstatic, sublime feelings? Yet the chemical dynamics of reciprocation fantasies can be incredibly powerful...

Why Parents of Chronically Ill Children Deserve Respect

By Seth Meyers Psy.D. on March 19, 2015 in Insight Is 20/20
Most of us have no idea about the challenges parents of chronically ill children face. Seeing your child in pain takes a toll, so the rest of us must do our part and recognize their unique parenting experience and contribution.