Essential Reads

Is Pregnancy Contagious? How About Marriage or Divorce?

Our friends influence us in surprising ways.

The Value of Romantic Gestures

How our relationships would improve if we incorporated more romantic rituals.

The Scientific Case for Owning Up to Your Porn Use

Women are happier when they believe their partners are honest about porn habits.

7 Ways to Make Yourself Divorce-Proof

... plus how to gauge your personal risk factors.

Recent Posts on Relationships

Divorce Equality

While there is a lot of press about gay marriage, there is much less reporting of gay divorces.

The Sexual Boundary Issue That's Seldom Discussed

By Michael Castleman M.A. on March 02, 2015 in All About Sex
Many couples struggle over men's wish to ejaculate into women's mouths and have them swallow.

The Borderline Mother II

A borderline mother can you hurt a child (even an adult child) in the blink of an eye. Here's what happens and how you can respond.

Empathy for a Child Abuser?

Empathy for a child abuser? For a child molester? How can anyone be empathic with someone who has done something so terrible? Why would they want to? Do the perpetrators possibly deserve such a thing? For a judge or prosecutor, of course not. For stopping repetitive dysfunctional family interactions that trigger someone's self-destructive behavior? Necessary.

What Kind of Angry Are You? (Part 1)

Anger dumping can destroy your relationships. You can use mindfulness skills to learn how to recognize the signs of anger so that you may learn from your anger rather than release it into the world in a destructive way.

Why Do So Many Middle Aged Men Feel Lost?

Is the future of men "neutered uselessness"?

5 Things Everyone Should Know About Resilience

By Peg Streep on March 02, 2015 in Tech Support
When we speak of someone being "resilient," we tend to think of it as a character strength. But what is resilience anyway, and what does it take to weather the setbacks in life? A look at the research reveals much...

Welcoming Emotions Into the Present Moment

We're often encouraged to be in the present moment. This article explores the hidden pitfalls of trying to be in the moment-- and discusses what is actually means to live in the present.

Because I Hurt When She Hurts

Tim and Kelly shifted from being critical and angry to working together to build a positive future. Their psychotherapy group for couples gives feedback about the impact of knowing a couple who practices positivity daily.

Finding "The One" Is Overrated: Emotionships Matter More

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on March 01, 2015 in Living Single
New research shows the power of having different people in your life who are good at helping you with different kinds of emotions. People with a diverse portfolio of "emotionships" are more satisfied with their lives. People who put all their emotional eggs into one relationship basket get celebrated by all the sappy love songs but they are not necessarily better off.

The Secret Life of Married Parents

How would you react if your next door neighbor told you she and her husband had a Parenting Marriage? Would it make you mad, sad or would you want to know more?

8 Warning Signs Your Lover is a Narcissist

The Mayo Clinic research group defines narcissistic personality disorder as “a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration." How do you know when your romantic partner may be a narcissist? Here are eight telltale signs...

How to Get a Date by First Asking a Simple Question

Have you ever wanted to ask out someone you know, or get a date with an attractive stranger? In either case, you can increase your chances of getting a "yes" by first asking a simple question, or making a small request. Find out what the research has to say here...

Healthy Relationships Overlooked in Search for a Quick Fix

By Amy Banks on February 28, 2015 in Wired For Love
Simply thinking about your strongest relationships can change your brain chemistry in a positive way. Imagine the benefits of being face to face with the people you love!

Finding The Sweetness in LIfe Even When Times Are Tough

By Allison Carmen on February 28, 2015 in The Gift of Maybe
I had just found out my mother had breast cancer, and I was walking to meet her for dinner. My mind was seized by the most frightening thoughts of losing my mother and what this illness would mean. All of a sudden, a beautiful breeze hit my face and an enveloping peace and joy ran through me. Was it okay for me to feel this joy when danger was looming over my family?

Blaming the Victim

By William R. Klemm Ph.D. on February 28, 2015 in Memory Medic
"What did we do to make them hate us so much?"

4 Keys to Great Sex

By Kimberly Key on February 27, 2015 in Counseling Keys
Sex with the wrong partner can have deleterious effects on your self-esteem. Learn the four keys to an awesome sex life.

Intimate Partner Abuse: Walk Away Before the Cycle Starts

We should never live in fear of the people who say they love us.

Sexting and Selfies

Sexting and intimate selfies have become almost routine-but should they be?

Is Your Job Ruining Your Marriage?

By Guy Winch Ph.D. on February 27, 2015 in The Squeaky Wheel
Most of us have had the impulse to yell at our boss or even burst into tears at work—but we typically don’t, because we don’t want to get fired. But suppressing our emotions at work can have a big impact on our home lives. Here's why:

Why We Hate It When People Invade Our Space

By Joe Navarro M.A. on February 27, 2015 in Spycatcher
Why exercising social intelligence matters and why it can dominate a news cycle

Should We Fan the Romantic Flame?

By Aaron Ben-Zeév Ph.D. on February 26, 2015 in In the Name of Love
All human experiences, including romantic ones, can be boring. The remedy for boredom is often change and novelty. Should we then change our romantic partners in order to fan our romantic flames? Although change is indeed essential to emotional intensity, there are several types of changes, and emotional intensity is far from being the whole story when it comes to romance.

ADHD and Weed: What’s the Draw?

Does marijuana help with ADHD?

Is Good Psychotherapy Worth the Investment?

By Judith Coche Ph.D., ABPP on February 26, 2015 in No Ordinary Life
Nick, age 55, gets unstuck when he and wife Barbara join together to invest in their own depth therapy to deal with how to feel passion, be more cognitively flexible, and create a happier marriage. They are glad they did.

What Can We Learn About Love From ‘The Bachelor’?

By Goal Auzeen Saedi Ph.D. on February 26, 2015 in Millennial Media
Nineteen seasons in, and I'm still shamefully watching the show. As a psychologist, I can’t help but be fascinated by this dramatized reality show. As a girl, I’m sitting with my big bowl of popcorn secretly hoping there is a fairytale ending to it all. This begs the question—how much of the show is real, and what (if anything) can we learn from it?

Does Science Really Say That Hot Guys Are Jerks?

There have been many recent media stories—with titles like "Science Says: Hot Guys Are A-Holes"—about a new study on attractiveness and behavior. I was lead author on this study, and I'll clarify here what our study really showed.

Peer Pressure Affects Actions More Than Recommendations

By Art Markman Ph.D. on February 26, 2015 in Ulterior Motives
As a parent, I am often confronted with the hypocrisy of advice-giving. There are plenty of things I have recommended to my kids that are courses of action that I have not taken myself. Some of that is that I want my kids to avoid some of the mistakes I have made. But, some of it is also that the way you give advice differs from the way you decide what to do yourself.

A Mother's Love: Myths, Misconceptions, and Truths

By Peg Streep on February 26, 2015 in Tech Support
Commonly held ideas about motherhood shape the dialogue we have culturally, get in the way of understanding parent-child conflict, and affect each of us individually by setting a high and sometimes impossible standard. Why it's time to banish some of the myths that animate the discussion and start a new conversation.

Having a Baby: When You Don't Agree

By Robert Taibbi L.C.S.W. on February 26, 2015 in Fixing Families
Being on different pages about having children can be a major relationship roadblock. The key is uncovering the problem under the problem -- some likely suspects.