Relationships Essential Reads

The Psychology of Plagiarism: Is Cheating the New Normal?

By Peg Streep on May 21, 2015 in Tech Support
Have we become a nation of cheaters, so focused on getting what we want that we don't care what means we use?

Nine Lessons from Mad Men: The Emotional Cost of Dishonesty

What emotional price do we pay for our lies? Here, I share nine lessons from Mad Men on how to stop your lies from destroying your happiness.

A Simple Way to Stop Relationship Arguments From Spiraling

By Guy Winch Ph.D. on May 20, 2015 in The Squeaky Wheel
The most common forms of miscommunication that lead to heated arguments are also the ones we least expect.

How Our Lips Speak Louder Than Our Words

No one can read minds, but you can come close by observing nonverbal gestures.

Can Money Create Inequality in Your Relationship?

Combining households does not always entail pooling income. Which couples are most likely to income-pool and what are the consequences of their money management decisions for within-household differences in economic well-being and for relationship satisfaction? Are differences in money management driven by pragmatic concerns or by beliefs about gender, family and fairness?

How to Be Empathetic

“All you ever wants to do is try to fix things.” “You just don't get it.” Judgments like these and countless others verbalized or thought in the context of interpersonal relationships point to one popular problem: the lack of empathy for the other. This blog provides nine guidelines for addressing this block to successful relationships.

A Lesson From Junior High Exile

By Kaja Perina on May 14, 2015 in Brainstorm
The inner voice is both symptom and salve, partly indicating what you believe about yourself and partly indoctrinating you into a way of thinking, as I discovered in a middle school library long ago.

Good Enough Sex vs. Perfect Individual Sex Performance

Sex does not equal intercourse and intercourse and orgasm is not a pass-fail sex test.

The Critical Difference Between Explanations and Excuses

Explanations help you learn from your mistakes. Excuses will damage your relationships and sabotage your chances of success.

How Can You Tell if Your Loved One Is Jealous?

You know you've done it - peeped at your significant other's open Facebook messenger - who hasn't ? What happens when what you see makes you jealous? Do you confront them? Do you cyberstalk the person who sent the message? Would an emoticon included in the message make you respond differently? Do women and men react differently? Recent answers to these questions and more!

The Definitive Way To Respond to Others' Mistakes

By Emma M. Seppälä Ph.D. on May 13, 2015 in Feeling It
Mistakes happen. The question is - how should we respond? Research shows that compassion will help us come out ahead.

Are You Looking for Love in All the Right Places?

Does it matter whether you meet a potential mate at a party or a class? A new study has found that where you meet a love interest can say a lot about their personality — and whether a relationship will last.

A Crash Course on Gender Differences - Session 1

By Eyal Winter on May 09, 2015 in Feeling Smart
The Evolutionary Role of Love Romance and Sexuality

How Do We Know What the Heart Wants?

By Paul Thagard Ph.D. on May 08, 2015 in Hot Thought
It is only partly true that the heart wants what the heart wants, because minds have some limited capacity for cognitive reappraisal that contributes to emotional change.

Split Decisions

In When Parents Part, psychologist Penelope Leach provides sound practical advice to parents about managing changes that she claims may be good for one or both of them, but "will certainly be bad for their children." In making her case, Leach may not adequately assess differences due to social class, pre-separation experiences and the resilience of children.

5 Reasons Fairy-Tale Romances Almost Always Go Wrong

The cultural roots of the warrior/hunter man and the feminine/passive-gatherer woman are reflected in the princess and knight in shining armor mentality promoted today. Although compelling, fairy tale expectations set many men and women up for eventual romantic defeat. Here are five reasons why fairy tale dreams often lead to misery in romance.

Why We Care So Much About What Others Think of Us

By Peg Streep on May 05, 2015 in Tech Support
Are we hardwired to crave status and to respond to people in programmed ways depending on their status? Is status about what money can buy or something else? A close look at what the research shows...

Who Is Divorce Toughest On?

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on May 04, 2015 in Living Single
There are big differences among people in how well they do after getting divorced. A recent review article suggested 5 ways that resilient people differ from those who have the hardest time.

What Do Women Really Want?

By Romeo Vitelli Ph.D. on May 04, 2015 in Media Spotlight
Some researchers have named those qualities that women look at in choosing a mate as the Three Gees - good genes, good providers, and good fathers. Men who can demonstrate all three of these qualities stand the greatest chance of winning the mate selection competition. But how important are these traits? New research from China puts the Three Gees to the test.

The Power of Influence

While I was growing up, my brothers (I'm the eldest of four boys) often chided me for being so much like my father. I suppose it was inevitable that I would be; firstborn children tend to be rule followers (if you believe in the significance of birth order) and I fit the stereotype.

6 Better Ways to Share

We say that people have “no filter” when they let everyone know exactly what they’re thinking at any given moment. Although self-disclosure can promote intimacy, there are times when discretion trumps honesty in order to preserve your relationships. These 6 tips will help you develop that perfect filter.

Mind the Gap

By Seth J. Gillihan Ph.D. on April 30, 2015 in Think, Act, Be
We can train our minds to avoid going off track.

Your Version of Reality, and Mine

By Gregg Henriques on April 30, 2015 in Theory of Knowledge
Although many folks assume that there is a single reality that is readily perceived, the fact of the matter is that we construct versions of reality based on our backgrounds, frames, motives, and broader life narratives. This blog explains how this insight can often be used to help couples break unproductive cycles of blame.

Why Your Old Friends Are Vital to Your Future

By Guy Winch Ph.D. on April 30, 2015 in The Squeaky Wheel
Can we predict who might be at risk for becoming lonely later in life?

How to Build Rapport: A Powerful Technique

By Aldo Civico Ph.D. on April 29, 2015 in Turning Point
Knowing how to build rapport is at the root of our personal and professional success. Here is a powerful technique you can practice right away, as soon as you finish reading this article.

Wife Swapping in the Stone Age

By Nigel Barber Ph.D. on April 29, 2015 in The Human Beast
Anthropologists are all too familiar with the violence and bloodshed triggered by marital infidelity. Now they are coming to terms with a more mysterious phenomenon—consensual wife sharing. If a man flies into homicidal rages when his wife cheats on him, why would he encourage another man to sleep with her?

Can Women Ever Be Taken Seriously?

Gravitas, or the assertion of power through body language, is a concept usually associated with men. However, it is possible under the right circumstances for women to have a piece of the power dynamic pie.

Why Betrayal Hurts So Much (and Who Seeks Revenge)

A betrayal by someone you trust is one of the most challenging interpersonal situations you can face in life. Whether through infidelity or a failure to fulfill a promise, betrayal leads to a desire for revenge, particularly in some people. New neuroscience research suggests who’s most likely to be hurt by a betrayal and why.

5 Ways to Make Small Talk Worth the Trouble

By F. Diane Barth L.C.S.W. on April 24, 2015 in Off the Couch
Do you hate small talk? You’re not alone, of course. Maybe you’re shy, or introverted, or maybe you’re bored by it. Or do you get irritated by the apparently endless and meaningless chatter? Here are 5 reasons to change your mind. And 5 techniques for getting better at it.

5 Ways to Heal a Broken Heart

How do you recover from one of the most painful life experiences?