Relationships Essential Reads

Seven Tips for Kissing Like You Mean It

By Jennifer Haupt on August 31, 2015 in One True Thing
My husband of 25 years and I recently attended Kissing School, the brainchild of Seattle psychotherapist Cherie Byrd. Here's what we learned after seven hours of smoothing.

For the Sake of the Children

By Mel Schwartz L.C.S.W. on August 31, 2015 in A Shift of Mind
Many people in unhappy or conflicted marriages stay together for the purported sake of the children. This article examines this premise and explores what's really best for our children.

Why You're Lucky to be Single and Seeking Love

By Ken Page L.C.S.W. on August 30, 2015 in Finding Love
If you’re single and you’re willing to treat your dating life as a journey of growth, then you’re very lucky. Why? Because the way we search for love usually determines the kind of love we find. By approaching your dating life with deeper awareness, you have the power to change your romantic future in powerful, positive ways.

Body Confidence, the Most Potent Aphrodisiac of All!

By Atalanta Beaumont on August 28, 2015 in Handy Hints for Humans
Body confidence, the most attractive aphrodisiac there is.

Intimate Relationship Dynamics

They worst thing your partner says goes into long-term memory; the worst thing you say does not. Natural selection favored recording injury we suffer more than injury we inflict.

7 New Books to Read This Fall

By Adam Grant Ph.D. on August 27, 2015 in Give and Take
The best new reads on psychology

Doing Good Makes Life Meaningful

How putting the needs of others may make your life more meaningful

Why Narcissists Try to Make You Feel Bad About Yourself

It’s never pleasant to be the target of an insult. However, before you let an insulting remark get the better of you, stop and consider who’s doing the insulting. It’s likely that it’s just a narcissist, trying to feel better by making you feel bad.

Which Five Powerful Self-Beliefs Motivate Donald Trump?

By Bobby Hoffman Ph.D. on August 24, 2015 in Motivate!
Research indicates most people are unable to articulate their own motives. Accurate detection of motivation is even more challenging when assessing others. Do you really know what motivates billionaire Donald Trump?

The Secret to Controlling Other People

By Tim Carey Ph.D. on August 23, 2015 in In Control
It’s our own private collection of goals that determines what will be sticks and carrots for each of us.

Why Some People Are Just as Happy Being Single

By Gwendolyn Seidman Ph.D. on August 21, 2015 in Close Encounters
Much research has suggested that married people are happier than singles, but it’s not clear if marriage actually makes people happy, and it isn’t always the case that marriage is related to greater happiness. New research shows how the goals we have in our relationships are tied to whether or not we’re happier when we’re coupled.

This Can Give You the Advantage in Online Dating

By Martin Graff Ph.D. on August 19, 2015 in Love, Digitally
Artistic and creative pursuits predict mating success Art, music or humour, are the modern day human equivalent to the peacock’s tail

Ashley Madison May Be Too Honest For Our Times

By Laurie Essig Ph.D. on August 19, 2015 in Love, Inc
37 Million Ashley Madison users have had their personal information released by hackers who don't like the idea of a website for married people who want to have an affair. But these hactiprudes are not heroes.

Can You Fake Intimacy?

Being involved in a truly intimate relationship means that you reveal your real self to your partner. The question is whether the self you show to your partner is authentic or sham. Find out whether you and your partner are being as honest as possible with each other.

Do You Have Trouble With Intimacy? If So, You're Not Alone

By Peg Streep on August 18, 2015 in Tech Support
What constitutes emotional closeness? Well, it all depends on your needs, desire, and capacity. Looking at matches and mismatches in friendship and love and why intimacy can be so darn elusive.

How to Completely Change How You Think About Menopause

If you are a woman anywhere near 50, you either just went through menopause or you are going to go through it within the next five years. How is that going to affect your sex life? And how will you respond chemically to new love affairs and breakups?

Five Basic Rules for Getting Along with Anyone, Anywhere

It’s inevitable that we face tough conversations in life. How you handle those conversations can make a world of difference to your well-being and the well-being of others. These 5 basic guidelines will ensure that, no matter what, your conversations will be productive and respectful.

The Right Way to React to Risky Moments in Your Relationship

By Erica B Slotter Ph.D. on August 13, 2015 in Me, You, & Us
How do you react when your partner does something that makes you feel hurt or rejected? In these situations, you can either protect yourself or seek connection with your partner. Read on to find out which behavioral option is best for your relationship and which strategy you may be more likely to choose.

On Being an Instrument

By Po Chi Wu Ph.D. on August 12, 2015 in Jacob's Staff
Are you creating dissonance (conflict) or harmony in your life? How are you expressing your energies when you interact with others? How does your energy define who you are and how others perceive the value you bring? Can you describe yourself as "an instrument of intimacy"? How might that change your relationships?

How to Stop Resenting Your Spouse

Before having kids, my husband and I hardly ever fought. But after my son arrived, we suddenly turned into one of those couples on the Maury Povich show, screaming into each other's face. Unfortunately (but reassuringly), this is normal. Researchers have found that relationship satisfaction takes a dive in the first five years of parenthood.

How Detachment Changes Both Adolescent and Parents

Adolescence alters the child, the parent in response, and the relationship between them. Adolescence changes everyone.

Is Unconditional Love Possible?

We all want to be unconditionally loved, but how realistic is that? Partnerships require mutuality, where we each have certain basic minimum needs and requirements, such as for respect, understanding, and nurturing. Our children require unconditional love, but adult relationships ask that we be mindful of how we affect each other.

How Social Media May Be Making You a Nicer Person

You might worry that the use of social media is causing us to lose the ability to communicate in person, much less be able to relate to others in a positive way. New research shows how, and when the contrary may be true.

Exposing The One-Trick Phony

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on August 05, 2015 in Ambigamy
Jon Stewart has been teaching the same psychology lesson night after night, and its the right lesson for our tense, uncertain times.

My Mentor Never Gave His Last Lecture

By Adam Grant Ph.D. on August 05, 2015 in Give and Take
If you use your candle to light mine, I get light without darkening you.

Before Blending Families, Consider All of This

By Wendy Paris on August 04, 2015 in Splitopia
Expecting your blended family to be one big Brady Bunch-like good time can lead to some serious disappointment. Psychologist Anne Brennan Malec recommends managing your expectations and taking steps to help all family members adjust.

"To Give Our Work Lives Meaning"

By Tim Leberecht on August 04, 2015 in The Romance of Work
Last year Brigid Schulte’s book, "Overwhelmed: How to Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time," was greeted with wide acclaim and bestseller status—and for good reason. Despite the technological amenities at our disposal, we feel more stretched than ever, clinging to the idea that we can find balance—even if we don’t know how exactly.

What Does Your Face Really Tell the World About You?

The phenomenon of “Resting Bitch Face (RBF)” is a new take on an old problem; namely, that women need to smile to be seen favorably. This raises the question of how we communicate our feelings through our faces and what we can, or cannot, change about how we’re perceived.

5 Important New Insights About Why We Get Angry

By Todd B Kashdan Ph.D. on August 03, 2015 in Curious?
Here I present "in press" research for the first time on what we learned by examining 2342 episodes of intense anger in everyday life. What we found introduces new insights into this complex emotional experience.

Three Paradoxical Ways for Coping With Romantic Abundance

Romantic love is often characterized as involving a great deal of sensitivity, excitement, and closeness. However, our cyber society often provides an overabundance of these features. Hence, a few opposite principles are proposed: (a) Indifference is the new romantic sensitivity; (b) Calmness is the new romantic excitement; and (c) Distance is the new romantic closeness.