Personality Essential Reads

What Narcissists REALLY Want, and Can Never Get

Among other things, narcissists typically come across as arrogant, manipulative, entitled, and woefully lacking in empathy. But if these defining features are understood at a deeper level—as powerful psychological defenses to protect them from experiencing a truly frightening vulnerability—a quite different picture of them emerges. . . .

Childhood Sexual Abuse Taken Out of Context

Child sexual abuse is a big risk factor for a wide variety of psychiatric disorders. But why do some victims turn out one way, others a different way, and still others turn out without any disorders at all? So called empirical studies of child abuse are limited to such variables as who the perpetrators were, what did they do, and how often. There's a lot more to the story.

The Archeology of Misbehavior

Archeology is the study of human activity in the past. The archeology of misbehavior is studying current behavior to uncover hidden sources. The “ruins” of misdeeds are built upon personality architecture and cultural landscapes.

Personal Intelligence: Are You Using Yours?

You've heard a lot about emotional intelligence. Now there's a new kid on the block.

Sex and the Single Borderline Woman

The Buddha and the Borderline is a cross between "Girl, Interrupted" and "Bridget Jones’s Diary." She is much more than a ‘lonely and increasingly horny receptionist,’ as she says in the book. Her insights into the world of the borderline mind are as funny as they are revealing.

What Are Situations?

What were you doing yesterday at 10am? 2pm? 8pm? Why were you doing those things? A moment’s reflection on our day’s activities makes it obvious that situations impact our behavior. But what are situations actually? I’ve spent the past 9 years doing research aimed at answering this very question. This post describes what we currently know about situations.

By Neglecting Spatial People, What Innovations Have We Lost?

Peter Thiel famously said of the future: “We wanted flying cars, instead we got 140 characters.” As innovative as Twitter might be, it pales in comparison to engineering feats that could truly transform our future. And by neglecting spatially talented people, we may have already lost so many incredible inventions.

Worried About a Midlife Crisis? Don't. There's No Such Thing

The midlife crisis is one of those urban legends that refuses to go away, no matter how much evidence question its universality. The latest evidence to refute the midlife crisis myth shows, yet again, that there are no massive personality upheavals when the decade marker strikes four-zero.

Religious Individuality

By John A. Johnson Ph.D. on July 07, 2015 in Cui Bono
Eric Dietrich posted "It is not that there are no gods or goddesses, but rather that there are no [true] religions." I agree, but not just because no religion is true. I go a step further. Because each individual's religious experience is unique, there are as many versions of a religion as there are members. Ultimately, there are no Christians, Buddhists, etc.

The Road Let's Travel: Why David Brooks Should Start a Cult

How does what we say pave the road to character? David Brooks has some words of wisdom.

5 'Flaws' That Just Make You More Lovable

By Juliana Breines Ph.D. on June 30, 2015 in In Love and War
You may think that people love you despite your flaws, not because of them. But some of the traits that you see as flaws may be more attractive than you realize.

The Most Compassionate Way to End a Relationship

Ending a relationship involves pain for both partners, regardless of who initiates the breakup. Although the well-known song proclaims there are 50 ways to leave your lover, the literature identifies 47. People high in compassionate love will be the most likely to use the least painful of these breakup strategies.

Is High Self-Esteem Bad for You?

By Adrian Furnham Ph.D. on June 28, 2015 in A Sideways View
Research suggests that the belief that bolstering self-esteem leads to many positive psychological and behavioural consequences may be misguided. Indeed it could have seriously unintended consequences and make matters worse

Surprising Links Between Gratefulness, Money and Happiness

Research finds unexpected ways in which your level of happiness and materialism are effected by your experience of gratitude in life.

Physically Active Children Grow Up to Be Healthier Adults

Why are children who exercise regularly more likely to remain healthy and fit into adulthood?

Nice Guys Really Do Finish Last

A new study shows that being over-confident may not make you more desirable, but can still help you get the girl.

Tackling the Emotions in Borderline Personality Disorder

People with borderline personality disorder have one of the most challenging psychological problems to treat. Furthermore, if you or someone you know is in a relationship with someone who has this disorder, you know how difficult it can be to live with the disorder. Mentalization-based therapy, focused on emotions, may provide an important new approach.

Why Patients with Borderline Personality Don't Get Better

People who exhibit symptoms of borderline personality disorder, despite being intelligent and showing no signs of psychosis, persist tenaciously in their troublesome, self-destructive behaviors. They will not stop no matter what other people try to do to get them to. They will not tell you about the horrifying reactions they get from family members when they act better.

Why It's Good to Go Alone

By Polly Campbell on June 11, 2015 in Imperfect Spirituality
Worries about what others will think can keep us couch bound. But you may be surprised what happens when you head out for some fun on your own.

When Should You Trust Your Intuition?

It may make you nervous to trust your intuition, especially in an important life decision. However, if we redefine intuition as insight, it’s possible to see the process of listening to your “gut” as having many potential benefits.

‘Empathy’ Is a False God

‘Empathy’ has been revered as the emotional analog of wisdom. I’m here to say that it is vastly overrated. It can even be a form of narcissism. ‘Responsiveness’ is the real source of the resonance of feeling between people.

Build Your EQ With These 7 Constructive Thinking Tools

The quality of your emotional intelligence, or “street smarts,” can help you achieve greater success in your daily life. These 7 types of constructive thinking will help you understand and improve your ability to put your EQ to use.

7 Ways People Can Change Your Mind

Are you the type of person who can resist the lure of tempting ads or the pressure of someone you know to get you to change your mind? Maybe you’re not as resistant to these influences as you think so that, even without knowing it, you’re an easy target.

What Happens When a Psychopath Falls in Love

The typical profile of a psychopath is of someone who is incapable of love. However, should people high in psychopathy manage to form intimate bonds, here's what can await them and their partners.

Parental Guilt: The Dilemma

Today both men and women worry about short-changing their children because of their both working, and their own parents often feed their guilt. The result is an epidemic of over- and under-parenting in which the needs of the children take precedence over the need of the parents, leading to out of control children who have trouble becoming responsible adutls.

Death by Selfie

By Laurie Essig Ph.D. on May 24, 2015 in Love, Inc
Death by selfie is not randomly distributed in the population. Like suicide, selficide is patterned and predictable, killing those most likely to depend on social media for their performance of self.

Good Sex

Truly good sex is about more than bodies, it is about persons.

How Technical Devices Influence Children's Brains

Guest blog by Dan Riseman, president of Riseman Educational Counseling, covers children's brain development. Here are some dos and don'ts regarding devices.

Tattoos: Rebellion or Conformity?

There has been a remarkable and relatively sudden increase in the number of people with tattoos in western society. If the trend continues, more than a half of people will be tattooed. Why?