Essential Reads

Miscarriages: Conception Without Birth

Observed pregnancy losses are just the tail end of massive shedding

What Adolescents Can Learn From Parental Conflict

How parents conduct marital conflict teaches the teenager by their example

The Real Reason Religion Is Declining In America

Why the U.S. will eventually resemble Europe

How to Foster More Adaptive Thinking

Are your cognitions working for you or against you?

Recent Posts on Parenting

The Freedom to Enjoy Secure Functioning

By Stan Tatkin Psy.D. on April 09, 2015 in The Puzzle of Love
Psychological principles underlie the current political debate over same-sex unions. Like all couples, same-sex couples have a better chance to thrive in an environment that supports their ability to form a secure-functioning relationship.

The Making of a Murderer

From poverty to riches, serial killers to gang members, behind almost every violent person, there is a story of despair. Not every trauma creates a killer, but most killers are created from trauma.

Bullying: A Case Study Revisited

They delighted in their own cleverness, and in their ability to get many uninvolved bystanders to sing a chorus as they waited in the food line. In other words, the humiliation of one girl became a popular bonding experience, and ad-libbing new lyrics was a way to get positive peer attention.

Jealousy, Simple and Complex

Simple jealousy functions in many adult relationships as a kind of distance-regulator. When the partners drift apart, the pang of jealousy motivates more attention and connecting behavior.

You Want Couple’s Counseling But Your Partner Does Not

By Suzanne Gelb Ph.D., J.D. on April 08, 2015 in All Grown Up
“Should I still come to counseling to work on my relationship if my partner won’t come? Maybe I should just give up. We’re doomed, right?” I hear this type of question quite often. It’s unfortunate, but often the partner who really needs counseling refuses to show up. Still, my answer to anyone wondering, “Should I get counseling even if my partner won't come?" is... Yes.

Finally, An Online Group For Kids With a Borderline Parent!

By Randi Kreger on April 08, 2015 in Stop Walking on Eggshells
Kids need support for the puzzling things going on in their life. Until now, there was nowhere to go to have a borderline parent. Now, thanks to the Personality Disorders Awareness Network, there are place they can go.

How to Fix Any Problem: The 3 Step Approach

By Robert Taibbi L.C.S.W. on April 08, 2015 in Fixing Families
While the content of the problems we are forced to deal with every day constantly changes, the basic approach we need to put the problem to rest is always the same. Here are the three steps.

Just Boy Banter or Tween Mean?

Tween boys are particularly prone to running in packs, complete with alpha and beta males. Similar to the queen bee who likes to hold court, alpha males are known to challenge and test the betas who surround them. There is of course a difference between playful teasing and bullying.

5 Ways to Be More Authentic on Social Media

By Alice Boyes Ph.D. on April 08, 2015 in In Practice
In psychology, the term “impression management” is used to describe how we go about selecting how we present ourselves publicly. Most of us can relate to the idea of having two competing drives: (A) to display our best self (B) to be genuine, and keep it real. Here are five tips for how you can both create a positive impression AND be authentic on social media.

When You Feel Like a Hot Mess

Ever feel that you were a hot mess? I guess that’s the new way of saying, “I think I’m having a nervous breakdown.” All around you Murphy’s law is in full force, and you are honestly having a hard time believing that so much could go wrong so quickly. This year could only be better, right? But you’re still having a hard time.

The Epidemic of Insecurity

The stressors in your life adversely impact your self-esteem and trigger insecurities. Because you cannot avoid them, learn how to negate them. These steps will help you combat your insecurities and strengthen your confidence in you own worth and abilities.

Evidence? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Evidence!

By Alfie Kohn on April 07, 2015 in The Homework Myth
It's possible to prove that rewards and punishments aren't effective in the long run. But what if defenses of these practices are rooted more in ideology than psychology?

Can Narcissists Ever Change?

We tend to associate narcissism with psychological problems that impact a variety of everyday behaviors and relationships. However, according to a new theory of narcissism, one of the three basic types has the chance to grow up psychologically healthy.

Uncontested Divorce Can Improve a Relationship

By Wendy Paris on April 07, 2015 in Splitopia
New legal processes can improve a relationhip on the other side of marriage. Some of the most exciting innovations in divorce are coming from the legal professionals.

Everything Ends Up as Pornography

By Steve Albrecht DBA on April 07, 2015 in The Act of Violence
Internet access to pornography is negatively reshaping dating relationships Millennials have with each other.

What’s Hiding Under Pollyanna’s Smile?

By Elizabeth Wagele on April 07, 2015 in The Career Within You
Some Enneagram types value appearing positive more than others do. Many of us 5-Observers challenge the prevailing opinion or look at the negative side while searching for more information. Many introverts and some 5s, 4-Romantics, 8-Asserters and counter-phobic 6-Questioners dislike overly-optimistic language as it seems automatic and insincere.

How Parent-Child Relations Have Changed

By Steven Mintz Ph.D. on April 07, 2015 in The Prime of Life
The parent-child bond in the twenty-first century.

Failing Our Fathers

Many studies of fatherhood leave out nonresidential fathers, particularly those of lower educational and financial backgrounds. A new book by Ronald Mincy and colleagues offers rich insight into the challenges faced by U.S. economically vulnerable nonresidential fathers.

How to Give Unconditional Love to Your Child and to Yourself

Parenting is really, truly, the hardest thing any of us will ever do, because it requires us to grow. So we all need to give ourselves support if we want to parent well. Instead of berating yourself when you make a mistake, resolve to learn from it.

How Jealousy Can Poison a Friendship

The people, places, and things that cause you to be jealous of another tell you more about yourself than you might realize.

Is Your Adult Child Having A Mental Health Crisis?

By Melissa Deuter M.D. on April 06, 2015 in The In-Between
Many young adults with stress induced mental health symptoms can benefit from learning simple coping skills, like time management or self-soothing. The presence of mental health symptoms does not have to mean disability.

7 Signs of People With Integrity

By Seth Meyers Psy.D. on April 06, 2015 in Insight Is 20/20
Some very basic signs of integrity are dreadfully rare - see my reference to physicians - but the good news about integrity is that we're not born with or without it, so we can change how much integrity we show in everyday life. Check out these seven examples of integrity and ask yourself how often you see these signs in everyday life.

An Open Letter to Parents Who Let Their Kids Drink at Home

What To Do About Letting Your Teens Drink At Home

The Science and Tools to Put Baby on a Wellness Path

By Susan Newman Ph.D. on April 06, 2015 in Singletons
Baby holds his breath; baby loses hair; baby cries for hours. What to do? A new book has answers to reduce parental anxiety and give baby the best beginning to optimize your child’s first crucial 18 months.

Can Healthy Living Reduce Cancer Risk? (Part Two of Two)

By Romeo Vitelli Ph.D. on April 06, 2015 in Media Spotlight
According to available statistics, roughly fourteen million people worldwide were newly diagnosed with cancer in 2012 alone. That same year saw about eight million cancer deaths. How many of those deaths might have been prevented using available medical knowledge about cancer risks? And how many more cancer deaths can we expect over the next three decades?

Adolescence and Making Parents Proud

While the attached child tends to be happy to make parents proud, the detached adolescent can be more ambivalent about being a source of parental pride.

Weighing In... Should Schools Assess Body Mass Index (BMI)?

A second grade girl brings home a letter from her school revealing her BMI scores taken in September 2014 and March 2015. Her scores didn't fall within the "healthy range". So puzzled by the letter, the little girl she got off the bus and asked the troubling question, "Does this mean I’m fat?"

Biased? Yes, against the tide and FOR baby’s needs

By Darcia Narvaez Ph.D. on April 05, 2015 in Moral Landscapes
Someone recently remarked that I was biased... Yes, I am biased FOR babies. I am out of sync with biases that lead people to think letting babies scream is a good thing. Not!

8 Tips to Help Your Distractible Child Succeed

Learn these eight ways to coach your distractible child to success.