Essential Reads

Darlene Lancer

How to Spot Narcissistic Abuse

By Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT on September 17, 2017 in Toxic Relationships
Narcissists don’t really love themselves, but are driven by shame. Their coping mechanisms are abusive and damage relationships and loved ones–hence the term, “narcissistic abuse.”

5 Ways to Heal from Online Shame and Digital Hate

By Sue Scheff on September 01, 2017 in Shame Nation
Incivility online is growing as empathy is dipping, and more adults are becoming victims of online shaming and digital hate. Learn five ways to rebound.

Sexual Disorientation of Male Sexual Abuse Survivors

Sexual abuse disorients you; it does not orient you. Consider straight men who have sex with men due to childhood sexual abuse.
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Nine Ways to Fight Impostor Syndrome

Impostor Syndrome comes in many different types and flavors. Identify these and learn how to overcome this mindset.

More Posts on Embarrassment

The End of Guilt

Has shame taken over from guilt as the marker of American culture? Or was guilt never very important in the first place?
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Sex Work IS Work: a Documentarian Gives Sex Workers a Voice

A documentary filmmaker dispels myths about sex workers through their own words.

The Asian Christian Sex Addict

By Sam Louie MA, LMHC on June 05, 2017 in Minority Report
If you're an Asian, Christian, sex addict, is there a difference in your issues compared to other addicts? I would say definitely so since there are three distinct parts.

Why Shaming Doesn't Work

Many people consider shaming an acceptable way of changing behavior. Is shaming effective? Research reveals that shame is a complex emotion.
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Quiz: Self Care for the Sensitive

How narcissistically vulnerable are you? Take this quiz and learn how to protect the narcissistically vulnerable parts of yourself.

Facebook Banned Another Political Activist - Myself!

Facebook Banned Another Political Activist - Myself!
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Body Shame Is Not a Diet Plan

By Renee Engeln Ph.D. on May 14, 2017 in Beauty Sick
Fostering body shame is not an effective way to get healthy. Shame makes you want to withdraw from important activities and meaningful connections with others. Shame can be a threa

Should Therapists Self-Disclose?

To self-disclose or not to self-disclose: that is the controversial question.

How to Break the Cycle of Shame With Your Child

The more empathic you are as you set the limit, the more your child will accept the limit, and WANT to shift gears to channel his impulses into more acceptable behavior.

Religious Conflict Makes Porn Bad for Relationships

By David J Ley Ph.D. on April 17, 2017 in Women Who Stray
A new research study finds more evidence that the alleged harms from porn are actually caused by religious conflict, shame, and the "porn addict" identity.
"Emotion Sensation," Frank John Ninivaggi, oil, 2006

Emotions as Our Mother Tongue

We strive for competency. We want a better quality of life. To achieve this, our second language, thought, not only needs but demands its mother language—emotion.
Pixabay image by Mary1826

The Feelings That Underlie Our Criticisms

The tendency to be critical is very human, yet it often has destructive effects in our relationships. Uncovering our truer, more vulnerable feelings is a powerful way to connect.

When Your Boss Is a Ruthless Monster

When Your Boss is a Ruthless Monster How to reduce your daily stress and maintain your sanity

When and What Do I Tell My New Boyfriend About My ADD?

“How do I explain my ADD to my new boyfriend?” the transfer student asks. Our conversation captures the tension of self-disclosure.

Collective Moral Injury: A Burden We Share

By Grant H. Brenner M.D. on April 03, 2017 in ExperiMentations
Moral injury is a concept mainly applied to combat veterans. How does it apply on a collective level, given the state of the world today? Here's a detailed discussion...

Why Men Trophy Hunt: Showing Off and the Psychology of Shame

By Marc Bekoff Ph.D. on March 28, 2017 in Animal Emotions
If the "hunting for status" hypothesis is correct, then shaming could be an effective strategy for those opposed because shaming tends to erode the status that trophy hunters seek.

Soul Recovery

By Tara Brach Ph.D. on March 28, 2017 in Finding True Refuge
When the path is illuminated by loving awareness, even the most broken heart will find its way home.

The Science of Schadenfreude

By Joseph A. Shrand M.D. on March 27, 2017 in The I-M Approach
Sometimes we laugh at someone else’s misfortune. We’ve all done it, even if we aren't proud of it. But once we know why we do what we do, we can choose to do something else.

Dealing With Feelings

"Minimize affect inhibition... Maximize positive affects… Minimize negative affects.” — Silvan Tomkins

Family Dysfunction: How Therapists Get the Whole Story

Therapists have several useful techniques for getting shameful, protective, or guilty patients to open up and tell the whole story regarding dysfunction in their families.

What's the Difference Between Guilt and Shame?

By Neel Burton M.D. on March 16, 2017 in Hide and Seek
Shame and guilt often go hand in hand, which is why they are readily confused.

Call Children’s Private Body Parts What They Are

Children who know the correct names for their genitals feel better about their bodies, and have an important protection against molesters.

The Shakedown Of The American Psyche

By Grant H. Brenner M.D. on February 24, 2017 in ExperiMentations
There's a diagnostic feeding frenzy about the President, and every possible perspective weighing in on the debate. How about our collective psyche, though? What's up with that?

Sex Addiction 101

By The Book Brigade on February 23, 2017 in The Author Speaks
Despite the debate whether sex addiction is a “real” disorder, many people struggle with problematic sexual behavior. There are ways to break free of compulsive sexual behavior.

Apologizing

By Roberta Satow Ph.D. on February 22, 2017 in Life After 50
Do you find it difficult to say you're sorry?

Why Is It So Difficult to Stop Obsessing About Your Child?

By Meredith Resnick L.C.S.W. on February 21, 2017 in Adoption Stories
Do you obsess about your child? Is it wearing you out?

America's Spelling Is a National Disaster

Spelling errors tweeted within the Trump administration raise the issue of why spelling matters. Spelling needs to be taught!

The Best Response to Narcissism in Students

By Tim Elmore on February 15, 2017 in Artificial Maturity
At the core of narcissism is the fantasy that you are better than you really are. But . . . what might be the cause of this misperception?
Pixabay image by Bykst

The Best Way to Apologize

Being human, it is unavoidable to hurt people sometimes. Yet it’s not always easy to recognize this an offer a genuine apology to repair the damage when we’ve injured or offended.