Essential Reads

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Ghosted? 6 Ways to Make the Bad Feelings Disappear

Has this happened to you? Someone you like suddenly seems to stop liking you, and you can’t figure out why.

I Thought I Was Damaged Goods!

Why don't many patients treat what they can? Why don't some doctors notice that patients feel hopeless when they shouldn't and guilty when they are aren't?

If People Only Knew

So many of us fear what we - and others - will find at our core. Why is there such an epidemic of shame in our culture?

Overcoming the Paralysis of Toxic Shame

How might toxic shame play a role in your anger?

More Posts on Embarrassment

Encouraging Interest

How can one sustain and enhance the child’s interest? The first order of business is for us to appreciate the importance of the interest affect and the exploratory behaviors...

Accountability, Love, Shame, and Working for Transformation

By Miki Kashtan Ph.D. on December 22, 2016 in Acquired Spontaneity
"I have more faith in actions that arise from a context of inner peace and acceptance than in actions that are fueled by fear and anger, the hallmarks of non-acceptance."

Dining with Disability

"Why does Grandma talk funny?", your daughter asks at the holiday dinner.

Empathy Can Lead to Profound Insights

As empathy wanes, so does critical thinking, and both concepts are essential to a democracy.

Can of Worms? Pandora’s Box? Divulging Your Dark Secrets

By Leon F Seltzer Ph.D. on December 01, 2016 in Evolution of the Self
As a psychologist, I’ve seen clients show tremendous ambivalence about bringing up certain subjects, particularly those suffused with fear, trepidation, guilt and shame.

Not All Empathy Is the Same

Believing that the power of empathy can be harnessed by perspective-taking alone is itself a false belief.

Feeling Shame About Shame

Is it shame or guilt you're feeling about having an LGBT child? Learn the difference so you can resolve the conflict.
K. Ramsland

Boys Dressed as Girls Who Became Serial Killers

By Katherine Ramsland Ph.D. on November 29, 2016 in Shadow Boxing
Some serial killers recall being dressed as girls when young, despite being male. It might have had a negative impact.

A Hopeful Right Turn in Treating Addictions

By Sam Osherson Ph.D. on November 26, 2016 in Listen Up!
Tired of the unhelpful stigma and shaming surrounding addiction treatment? Here's a different approach.

You’re Not a Bad Person: Facing Privilege Can Be Liberating

By Miki Kashtan Ph.D. on November 25, 2016 in Acquired Spontaneity
Time and time again I notice just how simple and strong it is to own and acknowledge my privilege where I have it, and to do so without guilt and shame.

Universal Children’s Day Compels Us to Look Into a Mirror

By Rita Watson MPH on November 20, 2016 in With Love and Gratitude
If we look at reports from the American Psychological Association and the Children’s Defense Fund, it appears we are failing our children.

Shame Management and the Trump Supporter

By Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on November 13, 2016 in Shame
Many white working class voters who feel likes "losers" supported Trump because he promised to restore middle-class jobs that provided a sense of "basic human dignity."
pixabay image by johnhain

If You’re Feeling Stuck, This May Be Why

Many of us are quietly plagued by a nagging sense being flawed or defective. We secretly believe that we’re a failure, which stifles our energy and prevents us from being free.

Talking About Sexism: Responding to Trump

Trump’s words and behavior compel a deeper and more challenging conversation about sexual violence. We must combat the triple threat of denial, dismissal and victim blaming.

Sexual Masochism: Torture and Transcendence Tied Together?

By Noam Shpancer Ph.D. on October 17, 2016 in Insight Therapy
Why would anyone experience pain and humiliation as sexually arousing? No longer defined as a psychological disorder, sexual masochism still puzzles psychologists.
Denicotell

Trump's Failed Apology

Why it is so important for Trump (and all of us) to give meaningful apologies

Do Shame & "Rock Bottom" Decrease Dysregulated Behavior? No!

By Peggilee Wupperman Ph.D. on October 14, 2016 in Beyond Self-Destructive Behavior
Do shaming and "rock bottom" help decrease dysregulated behavior? No! In fact, they can actually do the opposite.

There's a Word for Men Who Grope Women

We don't enable gropers by rationalizing their behavior. Do we?

Trump: How Dark Is His Dark Side?

Is Trump a true misogynist—or maybe even a sexual predator? And does the latest video of his “locker talk” with Billy Bush tell us anything about him that we didn't already know?
Image courtesy of vectorolie at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Role of Shame in the 2016 Elections

Are both major-party candidates in this election driven by shame?

How and When to Talk to Your Kids About Sex

By R. Scott Gornto on October 05, 2016 in The Stories We Tell Ourselves
New research indicates that 90% of kids learn about sex from online porn.
Aliaksei Smalenski/Shutterstock

How Compassion Can Help You Support an Addicted Loved One

Compassion: The Best Way to Support a Partner or Family Member with an Addiction.

Sex, Secrets, and Shame

By Marty Klein PhD on September 26, 2016 in Sexual Intelligence
Should the government criminalize fantasies? Many people already feel ashamed of theirs.

Why I Wish I Could Be a Narcissist

Simply put, life might be easier as a narcissist.

Guilt and Shame

By Jefferson M Fish Ph.D. on September 20, 2016 in Looking in the Cultural Mirror
Guilt and shame are two rather different negative emotions which are often confused. In both cases, people feel bad about themselves—but that is where the similarity ends.

The Risks of Joy

By Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on September 20, 2016 in Shame
The potential experience of joy threatens the emergence of shame and must be avoided at all costs. Heavy defenses against shame thus limit the opportunity to experience joy in life

Three Keys to Healing Shame

To heal our shame, we need to be: truly seen, witnessed with compassion, and have our feelings and deepest truths believed.

Understanding Shame: Symptoms and Prevention

Shame is insidious, corrupting our self-knowledge, inhibiting our self-love. What are shame's consequences? What can we do to prevent it's toxic bite?

The NFL Is Enforcing New Taunting Penalties

By Laura Martocci Ph.D. on September 11, 2016 in You Can’t Sit With Us
How will athletes respond to public humiliation? To 'penalties in kind' that strip them of respect, playing time, even jobs?

The Story Of One Sexually Abused Girl

By Marvin G. Knittel Ed.D. on September 07, 2016 in How to Help a Friend
Far too many adults carry feelings of guilt and shame left by childhood sexual abuse. Therapy can help alleviate the pain but major efforts need to be spent on prevention.