Essential Reads

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Will Online Shame Prevent You From a Holiday Romance?

By Sue Scheff on November 10, 2017 in Shame Nation
A new survey reports that over half of Americans will search for information online before dating you.

The Bully Inside

If we don’t accept our imperfect selves, how much of our tendency to gather "facts," form opinions, and label others brings us to the brink of bullying?
Darlene Lancer

How to Spot Narcissistic Abuse

By Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT on September 17, 2017 in Toxic Relationships
Narcissists don’t really love themselves, but are driven by shame. Their coping mechanisms are abusive and damage relationships and loved ones–hence the term, “narcissistic abuse.”

5 Ways to Heal from Online Shame and Digital Hate

By Sue Scheff on September 01, 2017 in Shame Nation
Incivility online is growing as empathy is dipping, and more adults are becoming victims of online shaming and digital hate. Learn five ways to rebound.

More Posts on Embarrassment

Shame as a Barrier to Addiction Treatment

The largest barrier to alcoholics getting treatment is shame. This is ironic because getting help and getting sober should be an action that alcoholics feel proud of.

Nonviolence in the Face of Hatred

By Miki Kashtan Ph.D. on November 16, 2017 in Acquired Spontaneity
The practice of nonviolence begins precisely when our actions, words, or thoughts are not aligning with our commitment. Because our capacity often lags behind our commitment.
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Why Don't Victims of Sexual Harassment Come Forward Sooner?

No wonder victims of sexual harassment keep quiet. It is time we supported them, rather than question them.

The Flavors of Everyday Anxiety

The blending of fear with other emotions produces the variety of ways in which anxiety is felt.

When We Shame Ourselves

When we shame ourselves... how to stop.
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Do You Have Adult ADHD and Feel Stuck?

Do you often know exactly the "what" and "how" of what you need to do, but can't execute?

Think You’re Not a Virgin? Consider This

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on November 02, 2017 in Living Single
People with no romantic relationship experience often feel shame. They shouldn’t. In other times and places, they probably wouldn’t.
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7 Ways to Respond When Someone Shames You

By F. Diane Barth L.C.S.W. on October 29, 2017 in Off the Couch
Everyone feels humiliated at some time or another. These 7 steps will help you deal.

The Normalcy of Sexting Among Teens

By Sue Scheff on October 29, 2017 in Shame Nation
Research says peer pressure is linked to growing sexting concerns with teens.

Do Minorities Have Equal Access to All Emotions?

Where a person lies in the hierarchy set by society determines which emotions to express and which to suppress.

6 Things an Addict Will Never Tell You

By Amy Dresner on October 25, 2017 in Coming Clean
Want to know what active addicts aren't telling you? Here are 6 things they're probably lying about.

How Workplace Bullying is Impacting LGBT Employees

By Sue Scheff on October 19, 2017 in Shame Nation
Forty-one percent of LGBT workers who have been bullied at work have left a job because they have felt bullied.

What Is the Sexiest Emotion for Women to Display?

By Alec Beall, Ph.D. on October 18, 2017 in Aesthetics 101
Emotion research may provide happy women with yet another reason to smile.

How To Approach Anxiety with Cleverness, Part 2

By Reid Wilson Ph.D. on October 06, 2017 in All about Anxiety
We “act as though” all day long—that the coffee we purchased is uncontaminated, and that gravity will keep our feet planted to the ground. When stuck, let it help you take action.

The Secret to Changing Eating Behavior, for Good

By Kari Anderson DBH, CEDS on October 03, 2017 in #BeHerNow
Whether you can successfully change your eating habits depends on why you want to change them.

How Recognizing Shame Can Help Us Grow

By Grant H. Brenner M.D. on September 27, 2017 in ExperiMentations
Shame can be used to attack and try to control others, but voluntarily dealing with the aftermath of shaming experiences can sometimes help us to move forward.

My Son Came Home From College and I'm Ashamed

By Barbara Greenberg Ph.D. on September 27, 2017 in The Teen Doctor
What to do when your child takes a break from college.

Asian Shame & Perfectionism

By Sam Louie MA, LMHC on September 23, 2017 in Minority Report
Asian shame can impact perfectionism. Whether it's the drive to succeed academically, vocationally, or relationally...the deeper fear with Asian perfectionism is being rejected...
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Hate Shame: The Emotional Roller Coaster

By Sue Scheff on September 19, 2017 in Shame Nation
With technology, hate speech and online cruelty are magnified. No one escapes the target of the narcissist troll. How can we rebuild empathy online?

Moving from Fault to Cause

By Miki Kashtan Ph.D. on September 14, 2017 in Acquired Spontaneity
I am confident that fighting back, name calling, shaming, denouncing, and other similar tactics recently are feeding rather than quelling this upsurge of white supremacy.
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A Brand New Way to Understand Social Anxiety

By Ryan M. Niemiec Psy.D. on September 12, 2017 in What Matters Most?
Think you know what social anxiety is? This post proves you do not. You'll see social anxiety in an new, helpful way...actually in 6 new and helpful ways.

Becoming a Patient

Ever wonder why physicians delay going for help for themselves? Here are some answers.

Therapy for Borderline Personality: Why It Takes So Long

By David M. Allen M.D. on September 08, 2017 in A Matter of Personality
Understandable mistrust of the therapist, along with fear, shame and complex interactions with family members, make psychotherapy with BPD patients very complicated.

De-Conditioning the Hungry Ghosts

By Tara Brach Ph.D. on September 05, 2017 in Finding True Refuge
To the degree that our basic needs are unmet, desire contracts and we become fixated on substitutes. But, no matter how we are caught, mindfulness and compassion can free us...

Embarrassment, Guilt, and Shame

Our possibilities for cooperating depend on respecting other people and courting their regard. Embarrassment, guilt, and shame keep us attentive to those concerns.
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Treating Nazis: Analytic Considerations on Hate

By Karen L Smith MSS, LCSW on August 28, 2017 in Full Living
Hate is a normal part of the human condition. What separates us from those in hate groups is we had a childhood that helped us learn how to manage our feelings.

Overcoming Religious Sexual Shame

By David J Ley Ph.D. on August 23, 2017 in Women Who Stray
The purity movement has traumatized a generation, teaching them to fear and hate their own bodies. But therapists are now exploring ways to help people overcome this miseducation.

What If Your Parents Were Just Not That Into You?

What if your parents were just not that into you? The lifelong effects of childhood neglect.

The Secret Life of Procrastinators and the Stigma of Delay

Rather than shame procrastinators for the way they get things done, let's understand motivational style differences.

5 Ways to Turn Mistakes Into Valuable Life Lessons

You can gain a lot of wisdom from your mistakes. Here's how to learn the most from your blunders.