Essential Reads

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Ghosted? 6 Ways to Make the Bad Feelings Disappear

Has this happened to you? Someone you like suddenly seems to stop liking you, and you can’t figure out why.

I Thought I Was Damaged Goods!

Why don't many patients treat what they can? Why don't some doctors notice that patients feel hopeless when they shouldn't and guilty when they are aren't?

If People Only Knew

So many of us fear what we - and others - will find at our core. Why is there such an epidemic of shame in our culture?

Overcoming the Paralysis of Toxic Shame

How might toxic shame play a role in your anger?

More Posts on Embarrassment

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Body Shame Is Not a Diet Plan

By Renee Engeln Ph.D. on May 14, 2017 in Beauty Sick
Fostering body shame is not an effective way to get healthy. Shame makes you want to withdraw from important activities and meaningful connections with others. Shame can be a threa

Should Therapists Self-Disclose?

To self-disclose or not to self-disclose: that is the controversial question.

How to Break the Cycle of Shame With Your Child

The more empathic you are as you set the limit, the more your child will accept the limit, and WANT to shift gears to channel his impulses into more acceptable behavior.

Religious Conflict Makes Porn Bad for Relationships

By David J Ley Ph.D. on April 17, 2017 in Women Who Stray
A new research study finds more evidence that the alleged harms from porn are actually caused by religious conflict, shame, and the "porn addict" identity.
"Emotion Sensation," Frank John Ninivaggi, oil, 2006

Emotions as Our Mother Tongue

We strive for competency. We want a better quality of life. To achieve this, our second language, thought, not only needs but demands its mother language—emotion.
Pixabay image by Mary1826

The Feelings That Underlie Our Criticisms

The tendency to be critical is very human, yet it often has destructive effects in our relationships. Uncovering our truer, more vulnerable feelings is a powerful way to connect.

When Your Boss Is a Ruthless Monster

When Your Boss is a Ruthless Monster How to reduce your daily stress and maintain your sanity

When and What Do I Tell My New Boyfriend About My ADD?

“How do I explain my ADD to my new boyfriend?” the transfer student asks. Our conversation captures the tension of self-disclosure.

Collective Moral Injury: A Burden We Share

By Grant H. Brenner M.D. on April 03, 2017 in ExperiMentations
Moral injury is a concept mainly applied to combat veterans. How does it apply on a collective level, given the state of the world today? Here's a detailed discussion...

Why Men Trophy Hunt: Showing Off and the Psychology of Shame

By Marc Bekoff Ph.D. on March 28, 2017 in Animal Emotions
If the "hunting for status" hypothesis is correct, then shaming could be an effective strategy for those opposed because shaming tends to erode the status that trophy hunters seek.

Soul Recovery

By Tara Brach Ph.D. on March 28, 2017 in Finding True Refuge
When the path is illuminated by loving awareness, even the most broken heart will find its way home.

The Science of Schadenfreude

By Joseph A. Shrand M.D. on March 27, 2017 in The I-M Approach
Sometimes we laugh at someone else’s misfortune. We’ve all done it, even if we aren't proud of it. But once we know why we do what we do, we can choose to do something else.

Dealing With Feelings

"Minimize affect inhibition... Maximize positive affects… Minimize negative affects.” — Silvan Tomkins

Family Dysfunction: How Therapists Get the Whole Story

Therapists have several useful techniques for getting shameful, protective, or guilty patients to open up and tell the whole story regarding dysfunction in their families.

What's the Difference Between Guilt and Shame?

By Neel Burton M.D. on March 16, 2017 in Hide and Seek
Shame and guilt often go hand in hand, which is why they are readily confused.

Call Children’s Private Body Parts What They Are

Children who know the correct names for their genitals feel better about their bodies, and have an important protection against molesters.

The Shakedown Of The American Psyche

By Grant H. Brenner M.D. on February 24, 2017 in ExperiMentations
There's a diagnostic feeding frenzy about the President, and every possible perspective weighing in on the debate. How about our collective psyche, though? What's up with that?

Sex Addiction 101

By The Book Brigade on February 23, 2017 in The Author Speaks
Despite the debate whether sex addiction is a “real” disorder, many people struggle with problematic sexual behavior. There are ways to break free of compulsive sexual behavior.

Apologizing

By Roberta Satow Ph.D. on February 22, 2017 in Life After 50
Do you find it difficult to say you're sorry?

Why Is It So Difficult to Stop Obsessing About Your Child?

By Meredith Resnick L.C.S.W. on February 21, 2017 in Adoption Stories
Do you obsess about your child? Is it wearing you out?

America's Spelling Is a National Disaster

Spelling errors tweeted within the Trump administration raise the issue of why spelling matters. Spelling needs to be taught!

The Best Response to Narcissism in Students

By Tim Elmore on February 15, 2017 in Artificial Maturity
At the core of narcissism is the fantasy that you are better than you really are. But . . . what might be the cause of this misperception?
Pixabay image by Bykst

The Best Way to Apologize

Being human, it is unavoidable to hurt people sometimes. Yet it’s not always easy to recognize this an offer a genuine apology to repair the damage when we’ve injured or offended.

What It’s Like Being a Guy with Binge Eating Disorder

It's important to remember that men endure eating disorders as well.

Monitoring the Self: Are You a High or Low Self-Monitor?

By Adrian Furnham Ph.D. on January 26, 2017 in A Sideways View
People who seem more socially skilled and confident than others may be more tuned in to their own behavior.

5 Writing Tips for Breaking Through Procrastination

By Judy Carter on January 17, 2017 in Stress Is a Laughing Matter
Procrastinating about writing? Is your creativity block? Guess what? Professional writers are just as anxious as you are and often use shame to fuel their creativity. Read on…

The Hikikomori Hermits

By Sam Louie MA, LMHC on January 14, 2017 in Minority Report
Japanese shame has reached a new level of intensity where many who feel shamed to face failure (real or perceived) hole themselves in a room to avoid social contact with the world.

113 Chinese "Shame" Terms

By Sam Louie MA, LMHC on January 14, 2017 in Minority Report
Shame and honor are inextricably tied together in Asian cultures. To understand this phenomenon further, you should know there are more than 100 "shame"-related terms in Chinese..

The Asian Scarlet Letter

By Sam Louie MA, LMHC on January 08, 2017 in Minority Report
Asian shame can be mystifying to those on the outside but it is a very tangible experience for Asians. So what is it?

How To Take Charge of Your Fear of Failure

By Pamela D. Garcy Ph.D. on January 07, 2017 in Fearless You
What can you learn from children and small business owners to help you "go for it"?