Divorce Essential Reads

Are You in a Toxic Relationship?

If a pattern of toxic love describes your relationship, there is a way out of this spiral. Here are four signs that suggest your relationship very well may be toxic.

Men's Mental Health: A Silent Crisis

By Rob Whitley, Ph.D. on February 06, 2017 in Talking About Men
Numerous researchers state that there is a silent crisis in men’s mental health. Is this the case? What are the issues and what are the solutions to improve men's mental health?

Good Divorce Advice: Resist the Urge to Compare

By Wendy Paris on January 17, 2017 in Splitopia
It can be hard to avoid negative self-comparison, but you want to remain focused on your own path.

The Evolutionary Psychology of Divorce

Why does divorce wreak such havoc on people’s lives? For the same reason that high levels of processed foods cause health problems—divorce is not evolutionarily natural.

How to Tell Others You're Getting Divorced

By Wendy Paris on December 27, 2016 in Splitopia
Perfect your "divorce elevator speech" with these five tips.

5 Steps to Breaking Up When It Just Has to Be Done

If you have been unhappy in your relationship and if you have tried to work through your unhappiness with your partner but to no avail, allow yourself to do what needs to be done.

Holidays During Divorce, When Your Ex Has A New Partner

By Wendy Paris on December 20, 2016 in Splitopia
Our holidays and rituals always evolve. They have to, in order to stay meaningful, whatever our family structure.

4 Reasons You Should Stay Out of Contact With an Ex

This is the single best way to accelerate the healing process after a break up or divorce.

A Step-Child's Guide to Step-Parenting

Each family has its own story with its own peculiar complexities, but most have a moment in which the new boyfriend or girlfriend becomes a parent...

A Young Feminist's Compassionate View of Men

The Red Pill is the story of a young feminist who did something few feminists have done: She listened as non-judgmentally as possible to men and women in the men's rights movement.

Why Taking Ownership Is Key to Divorce Recovery

By Wendy Paris on November 22, 2016 in Splitopia
I created seven Principles of Parting while going through my own divorce and writing a book about it. The Principles are guideposts that keep us stay on course during trying times.

7 Questions You Have to Ask Each Other Before You Commit

Marriage is a big deal. Before you commit, test your relationship with these seven questions to sure you're making a good decision.

6 Steps to Setting Limits as a Solo Parent

By Wendy Paris on November 15, 2016 in Splitopia
Setting and keeping limits can be extra hard when you're the only adult in the house. Clinical psychologist Stephanie O'Leary gives easy success strategies.

5 Reasons People Stay in Unhappy Relationships

Why do people choose to remain in a unsatisfying relationships—even when they know it's not the right thing to do?

Should We Wait for Our Kids to Graduate Before We Divorce?

By Wendy Paris on November 01, 2016 in Splitopia
Many parents worry that they're divorcing at the worst possible age for their children, but other factors that are largely under our control matter more to a child's well-being.

Trust for Children of Divorce

Trust is part of developmental learning. Divorce jeopardizes children's trust and brings child confidence in others to a screeching halt. Here's how to recalibrate this?

Why We Get Stuck on People Who Just Aren't That Into Us

Defining yourself partly in terms of your past relationship is unhealthy and unnecessary. To get on with your life, you need to free yourself from this aspect of your past life.

We Need a New Word for Stepparents

By Wendy Paris on October 25, 2016 in Splitopia
The fact that a stepparent is not a legal relationship highlights the role of strong emotional bonds within a blended family structure. Three tips for building good bonds.

The 5 Stages of a Troubled Relationship

When relationships come to an end, they often go through a series of predictable stages. New research shows how to tell whether you're ready to move on.
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How to Have a Good Divorce: Try Interest-Based Negotiation

By Wendy Paris on October 18, 2016 in Splitopia
Q&A: Austin-based collaborative lawyer Janice Green on the critical difference between interests and positions.

Gray Divorce: Why Some Grandparents Are Calling It Quits

Would you stay in a stale marriage if you are going to live into your 80s or 90s? Gray divorce is here to stay.

Unrequited Love, and Why We Cling to It

By Wendy Paris on October 04, 2016 in Splitopia
Intermittent reward keeps us attached, says psychotherapist and author Jeanne Safer. We need to credit our own feelings of dissatisfaction and let go of "relentless hope."

Is He or She an Addict First? Or a Narcissist First?

By Peg Streep on October 03, 2016 in Tech Support
When someone you love is addicted, your first impulse may be to offer all the support and empathy you can. But is this always the right thing to do?

A Happy Ending Matters in this Hollywood Divorce

By Wendy Paris on September 27, 2016 in Splitopia
The negative stories about the Brangelina break-up are dangerous, because the expectation that divorce must be a tragedy for all involved can create just that outcome.

Is Living Alone the Unlikely Answer to Loneliness?

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on September 26, 2016 in Living Single
Researchers trying to pin loneliness on single people and people living alone are not finding what they expected

Why We Need Closure

What is 'closure', really, and why do we need it to move on?

Resilience: The Divorcées Secret Superpower

By Wendy Paris on September 13, 2016 in Splitopia
Resilient people make conscious choices every day to put aside time for practices that energize them, enliven them or strengthen them." Here's how.

Do You Outsource Your Self-Esteem to Relationships?

It’s a sad reality that people who haven’t been loved adequately in childhood are often loved inadequately in adulthood. There's a way to break this pattern.

Back From Vacation, and Now More Likely to Divorce?

By Douglas LaBier Ph.D. on September 05, 2016 in The New Resilience
Couples often hope that their relationship will benefit their relationship. But a new study finds that returning from summer vacation is when divorces spike.

How to Rebuild Trust with Someone Who Hurt You

By Jennice Vilhauer Ph.D. on September 04, 2016 in Living Forward
When someone you trust betrays you, it cuts to the core of your emotional soul. These four important steps will help you rebuild trust in a relationship.