Essential Reads

The Biggest Red Flag That Your Partner is Not "The One"

By Wendy L. Patrick, Ph.D. on December 16, 2017 in Why Bad Looks Good
Infatuation Alert: You have feelings of anticipation and excitement whenever you think about your new love interest. But is your emotional intoxication healthy or harmful?

Smartphone Attachment Can Mimic a Human Relationship

By Martin Graff Ph.D. on December 13, 2017 in Love, Digitally
Is there is a connection between anxious smartphone attachment and anthropomorphic beliefs? Anxious smartphone attachment is related to the urge to answer texts or emails.

Fears and Consequence in Choosing Open Adoption

If the birth mother is in our lives, won't my child will be confused as to who their "real" parents are?

52 Ways to Show I Love You: Receive Graciously

By Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on December 10, 2017 in Life, Refracted
Childhood experiences with our caregivers and feelings of guilt, embarrassment, fear, and disappointment can influence the ways in which we receive others' expressions of love.

More Posts on Attachment

How to Be a Secure Base of Attachment for the Holidays

By Hal Shorey Ph.D. on December 06, 2017 in The Freedom to Change
Does the thought of the family holiday gathering stress you out? Attachment theory can teach you to be a "secure base," lower everyone's anxiety, and enjoy your family and friends.

Why Empathy Is the Golden Rule of Couples Communication

By Leon F Seltzer Ph.D. on December 06, 2017 in Evolution of the Self
It's only logical that to get your partner to hear you the way you want, you first need to emotionally connect with them. Yet that’s almost never what happens.
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"How Can I Stop Being in Love with Someone who Abuses Me?"

If you are trapped loving an abusive partner, this article can help you understand what is going on and how to get out.
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Is Your Greatest Strength Limiting Your Life?

Our personalities are like our bodies: They should be developed as part of an organic whole.

4 Ways to Manage the Fear of Running Into Your Ex

Breaking up and divorce often bring on a fear in the broken-hearted that an ex will go forward to be amazing, while you just get sucked into the abyss.

How Attachment Style Affects Sexual Desire and Satisfaction

By Grant Hilary Brenner M.D. on November 28, 2017 in ExperiMentations
New research deepens our understanding of how attachment style affects sexual and relationship satisfaction in more diverse and real-world study populations.
photo by Andrii Nikolaienko Pexels

Why Do Narcissists and Borderlines Fall in Love?

If you have ever wondered why Borderlines and Narcissists are drawn to each other but still cannot make the relationship work, this article is for you.

Is Narcissism Shaped by Attachment Style?

By Lisa Firestone Ph.D. on November 21, 2017 in Compassion Matters
Recent research has explored connections between the two main types of narcissism and the early attachment style a person experienced.

Where Psychotherapy Goes Wrong

By David M. Allen M.D. on November 21, 2017 in A Matter of Personality
Does your therapist seem to think your problems are all just due to your diseased mind or poor coping skills? They should be paying more attention to your social environment.

You Can’t Go Home Again

By Kirby Farrell Ph.D. on November 20, 2017 in A Swim in Denial
“Home for the holidays” promises “all the comforts of home,” but also brings the sorrows of home. Why do we do it? Is it a homing instinct? An addiction? Just unfinished business?

7 Ways the Insecure Try to Seem Important

Some people will go through extreme and perhaps ridiculous efforts to seem important. These seven behaviors may be covering up their feelings of loneliness and inferiority.

Walking in Natural Environments Nourishes Parent-Child Bonds

By Christopher Bergland on November 18, 2017 in The Athlete's Way
Spending time together in nature increases family cohesion, according to a new study.

Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child?

By Asa Don Brown Ph.D. on November 16, 2017 in Towards Recovery
Spanking a child is about the parent not the child. The child will learn more from positive correction than physical manipulation.

Are Dogs Insanely Friendly Because of Their Genetics?

By Stanley Coren PhD., DSc, FRSC on November 16, 2017 in Canine Corner
A genetic abnormality which causes extreme friendliness in people also causes the friendliness we observe in dogs.

How Are We Connected to Our Partner?

Similar attachment styles make for better marriages. Different attachment styles cab cause major problems.

Insecurity May Enhance Your Ability to Detect Dishonesty

By Wendy L. Patrick, Ph.D. on November 09, 2017 in Why Bad Looks Good
Insecurity is related to the ability to detect dishonesty. Your suspicions about your partner´s dishonesty may reveal the honest truth about you.

Learn How to Argue and “Take the Hit"

By Hal Shorey Ph.D. on November 06, 2017 in The Freedom to Change
It doesn’t take bravery to run away from an argument or to lash out and counterattack. So, learn to fight with honor, address the real issues, and have conflict be productive.

The Life of the Alienated Parent

Coping with the emotional trauma created by the experience of attachment-based parental alienation.

How Do We Move Forward After Losing the People We Love?

By Caren Osten Gerszberg on November 03, 2017 in The Right Balance
Under the weight of grief, self-compassion and sharing stories may allow some light to shine in.

When Food Is Food, When Sex Is Sex

Symptoms and behaviors that attempt to deal with emotions and replace relationships abound.

Roadblocks to Intimacy and Trust VIII: Parenthood? Not Sure?

The Roadblocks to Intimacy and Trust series explores the impact of early relationships on the establishment of intimacy in adulthood. VIII discusses the decision to parent or not.

Considering Reconciliation? Answer These Questions First

By Ken Page L.C.S.W. on October 25, 2017 in Finding Love
Real love is an ongoing saga of "rupture and repair.” Trying to reconcile is brave. It's hopeful. But if you want it to actually work, be sure to answer the following questions.

Forgetting the False and Dangerous

By G.A. Bradshaw PhD, PhD on October 23, 2017 in Bear in Mind
Scientists say that what zoos teach is "false and dangerous." An interview with educator Kiersten Cluster examines captive-held Elephant psychological trauma.

The Neurobiology of Jealousy

By Christopher Bergland on October 23, 2017 in The Athlete's Way
A first-of-its-kind study on the neurobiology of jealousy in monogamous monkeys sheds light on how male jealousy operates in humans, too.

Collective Intelligence in the Holocene: 7

By Michael Hogan Ph.D. on October 13, 2017 in In One Lifespan
Notwithstanding the uniqueness of human beings, a focus on the broadest timescale of analysis reminds us that evolution unites Homo sapiens with all other living systems.

Scams, Scandals, and Security Breaches

We may feel bombarded with stories about the lack of ethics, seemingly everywhere. But we can take charge and actively establish rings of trust around us.

7 Infidelity Preventatives Your Marriage Needs Today

By Zack Carter Ph.D. on October 11, 2017 in Clear Communication
The best defense is a good...defense.
Carlos R/Stocksnap

Are Past Relationships Putting a Damper on Your Current One?

By Vijayeta Sinh Ph.D. on October 11, 2017 in Life in Balance
Don't drag past relationships with you. Trying to understand them will help you move forward.

Managing Relationship Conflict: Letting Go of Being Right

By Hal Shorey Ph.D. on October 07, 2017 in The Freedom to Change
Tired of having arguments that end with you and your partner insisting that you both are right about long ago events? Learn to let go of being right and find strategies that work.

Nonparental Daycare: What The Research Tells Us

By Noam Shpancer Ph.D. on October 05, 2017 in Insight Therapy
Most American children will experience nonparental care. America has yet to adequately address the implications of this reality.