Self Tests > Relationships > Are You a Good First Date?
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Are You a Good First Date?

20 Questions
3 Minutes

Do you know what it takes to get a second date?

For some people, first dates are exciting opportunities to meet new people. For others, they’re intimidating, anxiety-provoking auditions. Whichever group you fall into, the success or failure of a night out may depend on habits and attitudes you may not even be conscious of. Take this test to find out if you’re approaching first dates with the best possible mindset.

Using the key below, answer the questions based on how strongly you agree or disagree with the statement.

Strongly Disagree
Disagree
Neutral
Strongly Agree
Agree
1. I have talked about my ex on a first date.
Disagree
Agree
2. I don’t go on a first date with any specific goal beyond meeting someone and having a positive experience.
Disagree
Agree
3. It’s more important for a date to learn about me than for me to ask about them.
Disagree
Agree
4. I pay attention to a date’s body language and try to echo their nodding, smiling, or leaning forward.
Disagree
Agree
Macrovector/Shutterstock
5. I don’t interrupt a date when they’re speaking, even if I’m eager to share something.
Disagree
Agree
6. It’s important to reveal deep truths about ourselves on first dates.
Disagree
Agree
7. After a first date, I do not contact the other person again for at least three days.
Disagree
Agree
8. It’s OK to talk about sex on a first date.
Disagree
Agree
9. I go into a first date looking for a long-term relationship.
Disagree
Agree
10. If I’m not immediately attracted to someone I can mentally check out of a first date.
Disagree
Agree
Macrovector / Shutterstock
11. It’s sometimes hard to focus on my date because I’m so nervous about how I’m coming across.
Disagree
Agree
12. If a date goes well, I try to make concrete plans for a second date.
Disagree
Agree
13. It’s OK to talk about painful past experiences on a first date.
Disagree
Agree
14. To avoid awkward pauses on a first date, I would probably just keep talking.
Disagree
Agree
Macrovector-Aklionka Shutterstock
15. I believe in “soul mates” and romantic destiny.
Disagree
Agree
16. It’s OK to check your phone or messages during a first date.
Disagree
Agree
17. If a date goes well, I’ll suggest we hang out again but not make firm plans.
Disagree
Agree
18. A first date is like an audition or a job interview which is why I find it so stressful.
Disagree
Agree
19. The goal of a first date is just to find out enough about someone to decide if I want to see them again.
Disagree
Agree
20. If I felt a first date went well, and the other person doesn't ask for a second, I don't blame myself.
Disagree
Agree
Psychology Today's online self-tests are intended for informational purposes only and are not diagnostic tools. Psychology Today does not capture or store personally identifiable information, and your identity cannot be determined from your responses. Aggregated self-test responses are stored to improve the tests and provide performance comparisons. Psychology Today uses third party cookies such as Google Analytics to collect visitor data on this page without sharing any personal data, ensuring your identity cannot be determined from your visit. There are no advertising partners included on these self-test pages. If you wish to remove cookies from this site or opt out of data sharing, please click 'Do not share or sell my personal information' below. For a reliable medical diagnosis, please consult a professional.

Who Is This Test For?

This test is for anyone curious about healthy dating habits, and whether they (or someone close to them) needs to work on them.

We value your privacy - see how we protect the info you provide when you take this test.

How to Get Help

If you’re concerned about your dating record, your ability to connect with others, or the anxiety or stress you may feel around relationships, you can speak to a mental health professional about ways to address it. You can find a clinician in the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.

Sources

Marisa Cohen. It’s Not You, It’s Me…No, Actually It’s You: Perceptions of What Makes a First Date Successful or Not. Sexuality & Culture, 2015.

Lauren Gazzard Kerr, et al. Blind at First Sight: The Role of Distinctively Accurate and Positive First Impressions in Romantic Interest. Psychological Science, 2020.

Namkje Koudenburg, et al. Beyond Content of Conversation: The Role of Conversational Form in the Emergence and Regulation of Social Structure. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 2016.

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