While 'community wisdom' might dictate overcompensating with the longer-term partner, true wisdom dictates that you and your partner/s should have already discussed this eventuality when opening or beginning your relationship. Boundaries can be stated, compromises discussed and made. It's generally pointless to think that you will be the exception and are immune to NRE and the issues it can cause. If it turns out you are immune, no harm no fowl. But if, like most of us, you aren’t, having discussed the what ifs with your current partner/s in advance, while level headed can make a world of difference.
My partners all know I’m going to get shiny new toy syndrome and that if it becomes a problem, they can say so. Just flat out tell me. "Hi. Remember me? Your husband/BF/other? Yeah, I was wondering if you plan to come down off cloud 9 there anytime soon, I miss you." will work or just tell me I’m acting like a love sick idiot and I should get my head out of my arse. I try to remember to ask my partner/s occasionally when I start seeing someone new if I’m inadvertently neglecting our relationship or if we need to discuss anything, because I know I get wrapped up in anyone or anything new and loose touch with reality for a bit.
When my partners meet someone new, I know to expect NRE for a while. I also know that it doesn’t last. All that incredible, heady excitement, that rush will fade away. ( Always too soon for the new couple.) I don’t ever want to take away from that for anyone I care about or anyone they care about. They need this time to get to know each other. I don't need extra attention to compensate and if they are spending a little less time with me or chatting less than we were, that’s okay. I enjoy the time we do spend together, enjoy seeing that glow of happy surrounding them and if they cut back on time with me, I can actually entertain myself. I can catch up on tv series, movies and books I haven’t had time for, take an online class on some interest or skill I’m wanting to pick up, or even spend a little extra time on my other relationships. The NRE will fade, my love for my partners won’t.
(nesting partner 30 yrs/anchor partner 3 1/2 years/boyfriend 3 years)