54 Ways to Strengthen a Friendship

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Friendships are fundamental to our need, as humans, to belong. Evolutionarily, friendship has played a vital role in our survival and happiness and continues to offer emotional support, practical help, and social bonding still today. While friends can come in all shapes, sizes, and behaviors, when it comes to who we consider good friends, we often have the desire to strengthen the friendship and deepen the bond.

New research published in the journal Evolutionary Psychological Science in September 2024 explored how we strengthen friendships.

In the first of two studies, researchers recruited 218 participants, (117 women with a mean age of 28.9, and 101 men with a mean age of 27.7. Via an online form, participants were asked: "For various reasons, you are happy with your friendship with someone. Please indicate the actions that you would possibly take to strengthen this friendship." This open-ended question allowed participants to freely describe the strategies they would use to enhance their friendships. The research found 54 strategies, which were categorized into seven main categories.

The following is a list of ways people strengthen their friendships.

Encourage More Frequent Interaction

• Do an activity together that they like.
• Seek to be with them more.
• Introduce friends to them.
• Seek to create shared memories (e.g., outings, trips).
• Suggest going on trips/excursions/vacations together.
• Have more outings together.
• Engage in a hobby or activity together.
• Seek to meet them outside of the group as well.

Give Gifts

• Give them gifts.
• Give them expensive gifts.
• Give them small gifts.
• Give them something of mine as a present.
• Give them gifts based on their interests.
• Pick up the tab when we go out.
• Give gifts to their children.
• Offer them financial support in difficult times.
• Tell them directly that I want to strengthen our friendship.
• Offer them support in everyday needs.

Create Family Ties

• Ask them to be my child’s godparent.
• Suggest that I become their child’s godparent.
• Ask them to be my best man/maid of honor.
• Suggest that they become my best man/maid of honor.
• Introduce my partner to them.
• Introduce my family to them.

Provide Support

• Give them practical support when they are facing difficulties.
• Be by their side in difficult times.
• Be there when they need me.
• Offer them psychological support in difficult times.
• When they face a problem, offer your help.
• Try to show them that they can rely on me in difficult times.
• Spend enough time discussing their problems.
• Contribute as much as I can to solving their problems.
• Try to make them happy.
• Share my ideas/problems with them.

Engage in Frequent Communication

• Call them often to see how they are doing.
• Talk on the phone more often.
• Seek more frequent communication.
• Drop them an SMS or email more often.

Show Trust

• Share with them my personal issues.
• Have deeper and more existential conversations.
• Put a lot of trust in them.
• Praise them for something they did.
• Have no secrets from them.
• Try to get to know them better.
• Compliment them.

Show Agreement

• Show more that I agree with their views.
• Avoid discussions on issues that I know we disagree on.
• Do them favors that I wouldn’t do for others.
• Be more tolerant of their whims.
• Make them surprises (e.g., on their birthday).
• Invite them to my house.
• Seek to do something daring or dangerous together.
• Communicate with them more often on social media.
• Spend more time listening to them.

Do any of these strategies sound familiar? Whether it’s offering support during a difficult time or spending more time together to create lasting memories, many of us instinctively use some of these behaviors to strengthen our friendships, often in ways that are mediated by our personalities.

If you struggle to strengthen your desired friendships, simple actions like opening up more in conversations or suggesting new activities to do together may make a difference in building deeper connections. By intentionally approaching our friendships, we can foster stronger, more meaningful relationships that can stand the test of time.

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