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Motivation
Understanding Young People’s Values
Values-based communication to support motivation for change.
Posted October 23, 2021 Reviewed by Tyler Woods
Key points
- People change for many reasons, all of which are linked to values.
- Young people are used to being asked about their futures, so ask about what is going on right now.
- Express empathy around the struggle between short term needs and long term goals.
- Success will only be fully achieved when values and goals align.
People change for many reasons, all of which are linked to their values. For example, youth who value pleasure might change because the negative consequences of their behavior interfere with their fun. Youth who value independence might change to achieve greater freedom. To develop a rapport with a young person, explore their values and goals, understand their dilemmas, and learn what they might want to change before giving recommendations or advice.
Some good topics to consider when interacting with young people include their peers (“Tell me what you usually like to do with your friends?”), family (“What do your parents typically do that drive you crazy?”), and school (“What do you like and not like about school?”). By allowing the young person to discuss these less risky and preferred topics, you continue to establish the bond of trust necessary for working with emerging adults. Furthermore, the young person may reveal other important intermediary goals that you may not have expected.
While exploring the young person’s perspective and understanding their dilemma, consider using reflective statements that highlight values: “You are talking a lot about how your parents try to tie you down. I am hearing that independence is really important to you.” If the young person’s values are not clear, you can ask pointed questions, such as, “What's important to you right now?” Inquiring about the characteristics of people who are important to the young person or discussing positive attributes of a friend or boyfriend/girlfriend can also facilitate clarification of these issues.
When helping a young person determine priorities, it is important to ensure that values are part of the conversation. “I am wondering if you prefer we start with how you and your parents are getting along or start with talking about smoking. Given your value of being strong, which one of these would be most important to discuss today?" Alternatively, if not addressed previously, you can check to see if the discussion is consistent with values, “We decided to talk about getting a job and taking your meds more consistently. I want to make sure this fits with your value of financial independence in the future. Otherwise, there might be something else you need to address sooner.”
Exploring incongruities between the young person’s values with current behavior serves to elicit motivation for change. If you have engaged the young person, you should already have clues to the youth's values that you can clarify with reflective statements such as, “It is really important to you to be independent.” You may now follow with an open question to develop discrepancy, “I wonder how taking care of your health might fit with this value of being independent?” The young person may then explain, “When I get sick, I have to rely on other people more.” You may also explore how not changing will interfere with their values, “I wonder how missing your medications might interfere with this value?”
The desire to be an adult or be treated as an older person can often serve as a powerful motivator for the young person, especially when the consequences of the current behavior result in being treated more like a child (for example, being forced to come to treatment, being placed in juvenile detention). A double-sided reflective statement can allow you to highlight the discrepancies in one succinct statement, and can be particularly useful with young people who prefer brief feedback. “On the one hand, you value making money, and on the other hand, your drug use has you spending more than you can afford.”
It is key to express empathy around conflicts between short-term needs with long-term values and goals. You may even demonstrate this discrepancy with empathy. “It must be hard knowing that eating sugary foods satisfies your hunger, and it can mess up your diabetes in the long run.” You can then elicit the young person’s ideas for change. “I wonder if there are foods that might meet both these needs—managing hunger and keeping your blood sugar under control?”
You can also inquire about the effects of unsuccessful attempts at change and how these may be related to important, but often neglected values. For example, in the case of a young person struggling with smoking, you may explore how past attempts to cut back diverged from her value of having fun with friends. Addressing values in alternate ways can promote discussions about change. “It makes sense this did not work because you were not following what is really important to you, having fun with friends. I wonder if there is a plan that would allow you to go out with friends and still quit smoking.”
Guiding the young person to develop a plan consistent with their personal values and goals is critical to the planning process. Autonomy-supportive and value-respecting statements such as, “Since you are deciding what plan to make, it is important to make it fit with how important being strong is to you.” Including values in questions about the next steps can ensure the plan is consistent with the values identified by the youth in the engaging process. “I am wondering what steps you want to take next that fit best with your value of spending time with friends?" It is also a good idea to confirm if plans made are consistent with values, otherwise chances of success may be limited.
Values are the human compass. They will guide towards or away from goals and behaviors. Success will only be fully achieved when values and goals align.
