The 2-Word Secret to a Happier You

When life feels overwhelming, we often think our struggles are permanent. But what if two simple words—“right now”—could change how you see and respond to those difficulties? These words remind us that the pain, frustration, or anxiety we’re experiencing is temporary and manageable, helping us find immediate relief and focus on the present moment.

Boost Your Mood

When you're feeling down, it’s easy to spiral into thoughts like, “I’ll always feel this way.” Over the past 33 years as a psychologist, I have seen firsthand how, by saying “right now,” you acknowledge your feelings without letting them define you. For instance, instead of thinking, “I’m so stressed about everything,” you can say, “I’m feeling stressed right now.” This subtle shift removes the burden of permanence, making it easier to see that your mood is a passing state, not a permanent condition.

Consider Evelyn (not her real name), who recently lost her job and felt overwhelmed by hopelessness. She found herself thinking, “I’ll never find work again.” But when she started using “right now,” her outlook softened: “Right now, I’m unemployed, and it’s tough. But this doesn’t mean it will always be like this.” Over time, this mindset allowed her to focus on taking small, actionable steps like updating her resume and networking. Instead of spiraling into despair, Evelyn stayed grounded in the present, which helped her regain confidence.

Tip for Readers: When you catch yourself thinking in absolutes like “always” or “never,” pause and add “right now” to the thought. It will remind you that feelings and circumstances are temporary, helping you break the cycle of negativity.

Improve Your Relationships

In relationships, conflicts can feel overwhelming, especially when emotions run high. Using “right now” can help you depersonalize and de-escalate tense situations. For example, when your partner is upset, instead of thinking, “They’re always mad at me,” you can reframe it as “They’re upset right now.” This perspective creates space for empathy and constructive communication, reminding you that the disagreement isn’t the entire relationship—it’s just a moment to work through.

Take Selina and James, a couple navigating the challenges of parenting a toddler. One evening, James snapped at Selina about a minor issue. Instead of internalizing his frustration as an ongoing problem, Selina reminded herself, “Right now, he’s tired and stressed, and this isn’t about me.” Later, when the toddler was asleep, they talked calmly and resolved the misunderstanding. By focusing on the “right now,” Selina avoided escalating the situation and strengthened their connection.

Tip for Readers: During an argument, take a deep breath and think about what’s happening “right now.” Ask yourself, “What’s the immediate issue?” This mindset can help you separate the moment from the bigger picture, making it easier to resolve conflicts.

Enhance Your Work and Health

At work, deadlines and demands can feel crushing. Telling yourself, “This is just hard right now,” can help you tackle the task without feeling overwhelmed by the bigger picture. Similarly, when facing health challenges, “right now” can anchor you in the present, alleviating fears about the future. For example, if you’re struggling to get through a challenging workout or recover from an illness, acknowledging “right now, it’s challenging” reminds you that your effort and patience will lead to improvement.

Johonan, a busy project manager, felt paralyzed by an upcoming deadline. Whenever he sat down to work, his thoughts spiraled: “I’ll never get this done.” Then he told himself, “Right now, I’m overwhelmed, but I can handle one small step at a time.” By breaking the task into manageable pieces and focusing on the present, Johonan completed the project successfully and felt more in control.

Similarly, Maria, recovering from knee surgery, felt discouraged by her slow progress. Each time she struggled with physical therapy, she reminded herself, “Right now, this is hard, but I’m making progress with every session.” Over time, her mindset shift helped her stay committed to her recovery plan.

Tip for Readers: When work or health challenges feel insurmountable, break them into smaller steps and focus on the “right now” moment. Celebrate small victories to maintain motivation.

Why “Right Now” Works

The power of “right now” lies in its ability to shift your mindset. It removes the weight of hopelessness and reminds you that every struggle is temporary. By focusing on the present moment, you can access the resilience needed to move forward.

Relationships Essential Reads

The Situationship Trap: Why We Stay in Almost-Relationships

Do You Hurt Your Partner in Any of These 3 Painful Ways?

Next time you feel overwhelmed, pause and say to yourself, “Right now.” You’ll find that this tiny phrase holds enormous power to transform your mindset, one moment at a time.